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A laugh for our Aussie friends :)

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  • ilanalotus
    AUSTRALIAN TOURISM These are from potential visitors, who posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 25, 2005
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      AUSTRALIAN TOURISM
      These are from potential visitors, who posted on an Australian
      Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the
      website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor:

      Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
      TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
      A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
      watching them die.

      Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
      A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

      Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney — can I follow the railroad
      tracks? (Sweden)
      A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

      Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
      A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
      here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

      Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
      A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

      Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
      A: You are a British politician, right?

      Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
      (USA)
      A: A-FRI-CA is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
      AUS-TRA-LIA is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
      does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday
      night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

      Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
      round? (Germany)
      A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers.
      Milk is illegal.

      Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
      rattlesnake serum. (USA)
      A: Rattlesnakes live in A-MER-I-CA which is where YOU come from. All
      Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
      make good pets, especially the Taipans.

      Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
      A: AUS-TRI-A that quaint little country bordering GER-MAN-Y, which
      is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
      night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

      Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
      forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
      A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
      of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
      You can scare them off by spraying yourself with honey before you go
      out walking.


      ~Contributed by Vidya at www.WebWiseSage.com

      p.s. Many times in the past, when new visitors come to Hong Kong
      and go out to dine here, they ask me is it true that we have to have
      9 dishes per meal.
      My answer now is:
















      I wish! :)

      with Love and smiles,
      Irena
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