A laugh for our Aussie friends :)
- AUSTRALIAN TOURISM
These are from potential visitors, who posted on an Australian
Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the
website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor:
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney can I follow the railroad
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
A: A-FRI-CA is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
AUS-TRA-LIA is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-MER-I-CA which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets, especially the Taipans.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: AUS-TRI-A that quaint little country bordering GER-MAN-Y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with honey before you go
~Contributed by Vidya at www.WebWiseSage.com
p.s. Many times in the past, when new visitors come to Hong Kong
and go out to dine here, they ask me is it true that we have to have
9 dishes per meal.
My answer now is:
I wish! :)
with Love and smiles,