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Fw: Men and their tools!! :)

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  • kelly Sieglinger
    ... From: kelly Sieglinger To: StrangersAreFamily@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 7:19 AM Subject: Men and their tools!! Men and their tools!
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 1, 2005
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 7:19 AM
      Subject: Men and their tools!!

      Men and their tools!

      Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's
      enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

      Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a
      professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying
      to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.

      Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage
      estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.

      Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches
      when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

      Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in it's leather sheath and worn on a homeowner's belt to
      increase testosterone levels.

      Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

      Halogen Light - A work light that lights up your backyard with the
      incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

      Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90%
      over a standard plug-in tool.

      Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.

      Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing
      the power of your mother-in-law's nagging complaints and using the
      resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.

      Chainsaw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you
      accidentally built completely around yourself.
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