- ... From: kelly Sieglinger To: StrangersAreFamily@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 7:19 AM Subject: Men and their tools!! Men and their tools!Message 1 of 1 , Mar 1 4:21 AMView Source----- Original Message -----From: kelly SieglingerSent: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 7:19 AMSubject: Men and their tools!!Men and their tools!
Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's
enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a
professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying
to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage
estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.
Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches
when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in it's leather sheath and worn on a homeowner's belt to
increase testosterone levels.
Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light - A work light that lights up your backyard with the
incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90%
over a standard plug-in tool.
Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.
Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing
the power of your mother-in-law's nagging complaints and using the
resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.
Chainsaw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you
accidentally built completely around yourself.