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Fwd: Auto-Replies - very, very funny

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  • Constance Kosuda
    ... ===== God bless you, all you love and all you touch with Peace, Prosperity, Perfect Health, Harmony and Happiness
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 29, 2004
      --- Ronn Kistler <rdk@...> wrote:

      > From: "Ronn Kistler" <rdk@...>
      > To: "wts" <thomas1too@...>,
      > <jrb34@...>,
      > <ckosuda@...>,
      > <Bornholm.Jon@...>,
      > "Aileen Packer Cwanger" <ASC43@...>,
      > <aviglad@...>,
      > <wendis@...>,
      > <maria.maxton@...>,
      > "Nancy Went Macaulay" <Screech129@...>,
      > <lpalma109@...>,
      > <hilllysahi@...>
      > Subject: Auto-Replies
      > Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 18:21:13 -0500
      > Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail
      > Auto-Reply:
      > ****
      > I am currently out at a job interview and will reply
      > to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared
      > for my mood.
      > I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring
      > you.
      > You are receiving this automatic notification
      > because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances
      > are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
      > Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors
      > having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to
      > management.
      > I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless
      > emails you send me until I return from vacation on
      > 1/8. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
      > in the order it was received.
      > Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
      > charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for
      > each additional word in your message.
      > 'The e-mail server is unable to verify your server
      > connection and is unable to deliver this message.
      > Please restart your computer and try sending again.'
      > The beauty of it is that when I return, I can see
      > how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.
      > Thank you for your message, which has been added to
      > a queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place,
      > and can expect to receive a reply in approximately
      > 19 weeks. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know
      > that you got this message.
      > I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
      > Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
      > Please wait by your PC
      > for my response.
      > Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job.
      > Don't bother to leave me any messages.
      > I've run away to join a different circus.
      > I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for
      > medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me
      > as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.'

      God bless you, all you love and all you touch with Peace, Prosperity, Perfect Health, Harmony and Happiness Thomas
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