more on 10 min. exercise/HOW TO PICK THE RIGHT QUESTION TO ASK
- Here is more information on the 10 minute exercise given for the Sat conf call at Sat 10-23Same phone # and pin. 212-990-8000 pin 5454# (pound sign),following our same format.During this 10 minute exercise series, if possible, find a partner to join you so that you can practice the exercise together. Each of you should carefully chose a question THAT GETS RIGHT TO THE HEART OF WHAT IS UP FOR YOU, PERHAPS BOTHERING YOU, now. Done correctly, the 10 minute exercise will move you right through emotional blocks, obscurities, and impasses.As you begin to see the awesome power of this exercise to quickly and efficiently 'clear away' emotional blocks, negativity, and confusion, you will probably want to have several partners that are familiar with this process that you can call on to share this exercise. Since utmost honesty and safety are required for this exercise to work, it is important to be with someone you trust. Remember that everything that is shared MUST remain confidential. Also remember that this exercise enlivens the psyche's own ability to heal itself, and any effort on the part of the listener to 'fix' the person sharing is counter productive, as it interrupts that person's own unique inner healing process. To do this exercise correctly, the listener ONLY asks the questions, listens, thanks the person for sharing, and then asks the question again.When you are the one answering the question, go within and say whatever comes up for you to say. It does not need to make sense, sound logical, or 'be nice'. DO NOT WORRY IF YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MAKES SENSE TO THE LISTENER , it only matters that it makes sense to you. Your answer may be short. If so, look at the questioner when you are finished and that is the cue for the questioner to thank you for sharing and then ask the question again. If your answer is very long, with deep quiet times of going within, then the listener allows you to go on and on, until the agreed upon time of 10 minutes is up. Then the questioner thanks you and tells you your time is up. If you are having very important breakthroughs, you may negotiate for a few more minutes to finish up. Then switch roles for the same amount of time.Since both partners get a turn, a complete 10 minute exercise, with each person getting a turn, would be 20 minutes. It is OK if the '10 minute exercise' lasts longer than 20 minutes. Done correctly, though, 10 minutes of answering the same question will process a lot of emotion, and this amount of time is convenient for those with busy schedules. As always, go with inner guidance.Michael and I usually do 2 or 3 complete 10 minute exercises at a time. Usually this is enough to completely cover whatever is going on.When there are important decisions to be made, doing a 10 minute exercise on these decisions can be life changing. Usually there are conflicting feelings about any decision, and this exercise is perfect for resolving these.With love always,Cynthia and Michael
Ten Minute Exercise Tip
How to pick the right question to ask.
c. Dr. Michael Schlosser 2002
The ten minute exercise is tremendously useful as a tool in emotional release work as well as an invaluable aid in focusing awareness for many purposes. It is especially useful during times of turmoil, confusion, or unclarity to efficiently reveal the source of the confusion and to lower SUDS.
The definitive value of the ten minute exercise is first and foremost its utility in focusing awareness with pinpoint precision to reveal semi-conscious or seemingly subconscious insights, motivations, and feelings on any one issue of current interest.
The following list shows various examples of different questions which could be chosen during the ten minute exercise for a number of applications. This list represents only an extremely small fraction of the permutations and combinations of possible questions and innumerable applications.
To illustrate how many different variations of questions can be generated on just one single issue, consider the following list of questions which my wife Cynthia and I produced when dealing with the issue of our potential, upcoming success. We wanted to discover our real motivations pro and con for seeking success. We thus had limited awareness of how we felt about it, having not explored our success feelings previously in any depth.
At the time of deciding to use the ten minute exercise all we knew was that we were ambivalent about succeeding on our own terms. We did not know any of the forces/factors propelling us toward/away from the prospect of success. We both felt the high likelihood of success imminently coming into our lives.
We decided to employ the ten minute exercise as a way to become more aware of what was motivating us and to unblock any impediments standing in our way of succeeding. The following outline illustrates some of the various options of questions we considered, each with its own nuance of subtly different meaning, different focus of our attention on the success issue, and different set of answers that would be generated from doing the exercise. Note that we wanted to uncover both the positives and negatives.
In practice when Cynthia and I did this exercise she chose for me to ask her, What is standing in the way of your succeeding? for the negative and What do you like about success? for the positive.
As a format for this container of the ten minute exercise, we alternated one sentence at a time between the negative and then the positive questions. Furthermore, we alternated roles such that after my asking her the two questions with me as listener, she became the listener, asking me my two questions.
What is good (bad) about succeeding?
Whats a yes (no) about success?
What is win (loss) about success?
What is a plus/positive/turn on/ /pro (minus/negative/turn off, con) about success?
What would give you pleasure (be painful) if you succeeded?
Questions revealing motivations:
What makes you want (not want) to succeed?
What would you like (dislike) about succeeding?
What attracts you toward (repels you from) succeeding?
What do you want (not want) to get from success?
Questions to uncover obstacles/blocks to success?
What stops you from succeeding (would help you to succeed)?
What is obstructing (would facilitate) your success?
How are you sabotaging (could you be furthering) your success?
What is standing in the way of (would help you overcome blocks to) your succeeding?
What old paradigms of success are you still acting on (new affirmations could you act on)?
What are you unable to do because of your lack of success (could you do if you did succeed)?
What compromises have you settled for by not succeeding? What new freedom would success give you?
Most of these questions could also be reformed into the stem sentence:
Tell me a way that or Tell me something that Tell me one way that you ; for example,
Tell me one good (bad) thing about your succeeding.
How to do 10 Minute Exercise
c. 2002 M. Schlosser, Ph.D.
2 ROLES: Listener (therapist) and Responder (patient)
What to do:
as Listener/Questioner (= Silent Therapist): you should
1. Keep Asking the same Question repeatedly.
(Dont change the question; dont try to perfect it.)
2. Just Listen non-judgmentally.
(Dont react, comment, or put in your 2 cents at all.)
Whatever you do, dont interrupt! Its not your turn.
3. Say Thank you for sharing.
This is really the best comment to make AFTER you are
SURE that the responder is through processing the question. If the responder gets a far away look and is silent, do not interrupt, this is the time of greatest inner revelation and change.
Wait until they pause and look to you for direction.
4. Help the responder find the right question before you begin.
The question picked is the responders choice, not yours.
EXAMPLE: Ask, What are you feeling? [ If this is the question that has been chosen]:
YOU as Listener, ask : What are you feeling?
Responder: (answers) Im feeling great. (looks up, waiting, to go on)
Listener: Thank you for sharing (pause) What are you feeling?
As RESPONDER/venter/explorer (= patient): you should
1. Choose the right question, carefully;
the question should addresses whatever has the most juice
for you, be a cutting edge issue, &/or be your predominant feeling)
2. Answer the Question as best you can
Like free association, go with your first reaction,
whatever has juice. This is your chance to vent uninterrupted!
The concentration for both roles is to LOVE YOUR FEELINGS.[For new people: There is no cost for the conference call, other than your normal long distance charges to your phone company. Area code 212 is New York City. There is room for 500 people.]