'EMOTIONAL HEALING CONFERENCE CALL' , Saturday October 2nd / updated Trigger's Questionaire
- Please join us on Saturday October 2nd for the 'EMOTIONAL HEALING CONFERENCE CALL' from 1 PM - 3 PM Eastern Time. Dial in 212-990-8000 and enter access code 5454 # [pound sign]. Please put in the access code immediately after they answer and then don't touch the phone at all after that!How to be emotionally harmless to self and others is our focus, and we will continue with the trigger's questionaire, with emphasis on new questions.
Saturday's conference call will concern the answers to the following questions # 54-91. The conference call can handle about 500 people. If you can't get on, or miss it, the call is being taped by one of the listeners. Hopefully tapes will be available soon. Call in at 212-990-8000, then immediately punch 5454# (pound sign), then don't touch your phone key pad again, please, after you're on the call. If you want to mute your phone but don't have a "mute" button on it, please do so the old fashioned way by simply covering your microphone on your phone handset and holding it motionlessly. At 1 P.M. Eastern time, we'll be discussing only the answers to questions # 54-91 for the first hour, and take any more questions after that. Access to get onto the conf call phone line wll begin 15 mins early, i.e.just prior to 1 P.M. Eastern time.See you there!With love,Cynthia and MichaelHere is the expanded Trigger's Questionaire:
Triggers T-F Questionnaire
c. 2002, 2004 Dr. Michael Schlosser, Ph.D.
Here is the whole Triggers' Questionnaire (except for a few additional questions for combat vets which weren't included here).(For best viewing, expand your computer screen to full size.)
Read the following definitions, then answer the following questions, "True" or "False" beside each question.
"TRAUMA": A "blast from the past". Any distressful memory fraught with significant emotional pain.
A "trauma" is also herein defined as a discrete event that occurred over a relatively short time period, so it is recalled as one event.
"TRIGGER" or "TRIGGERING EVENT": A highly provocative stimulus. Any current situation which has the power to evoke the intense suffering of a past trauma. "TRIGGERED" refers to this kind of experience of notable distress. Similarity between the present time
situation and corresponding aspects of the past trauma evoke it with full emotional intensity, just as if the horrible original (often childhood) trauma were experientially happening again.
"OLD FEELINGS": Emotions from a past trauma (often childhood) that a triggered person feels in the present time. The triggered person is like an unwitting time traveler who literally re-experiences old feelings from a past trauma as if it were happening all over again in the present moment.
"VENTING": Generalized emotional expression, "shotgun style", which is often rambling, unfocused, and mostly confined to current, stressful events.Answers are below at the very bottom:
Question: When it comes to getting triggered in general: True or False (Mark T or F to the left of the question):
___1. "Normal people" rarely get triggered.
___2. Over-reacting emotionally is an excellent indication that someone is triggered.
___3. When strongly triggered, most growth oriented people, who have developed emotional self-awareness, are typically aware of it pretty quickly. They will admit to being triggered, if asked tactfully.
___4. It is possible to completely "clear" a major emotional trauma so that it never bothers you again (Even some of the worst nightmares, such as war traumas, can be "erased" and cease being a problem.)
__5. When strongly triggered, almost no amount of emotional venting about the present time "triggering event" will significantly lower the level of emotional distress. Venting may in fact, make it worse.
___6. When you "fall deeply in love", you are more likely to trigger each other more frequently and more upsettingly (into early childhood traumas) than if you simply feel a slowly growing love.
___7. All that is required to permanently resolve a major trauma is to talk it through completely.
___8. When someone is strongly triggered, you can assume the 'real cause' is virtually never the present time event.
___9. Conflict negotiations, such as divorce mediation between husbands and wives about present- time issues, is largely a waste of time, if both parties are strongly triggered.
___10. Conventional training teaches licensed psychotherapists how to deal with 'triggered feelings'. "
___11. The secret to successful conflict resolution is identifying and "clearing" triggered feelings. The essential key is to find each original traumatic memory that is fueling that present time dispute.
___12. A triggered, but well socialized, person respects other people's feelings and limits.
___13. "Time heals" triggered feelings.
___14. A powerful emotional trauma can be triggered repeatedly, but the severity of distress decreases each time.
___15. Virtually everybody is an "asshole" when they're strongly triggered.
___16. Middle Eastern leaders (Palestinians vs Israelis or Pakistanis vs Indians) can still negotiate their differences, overcome stalemates, and forge good agreements, even if they are triggered.
___17. Triggered feelings can last for years, even a lifetime. They would never go away unless the emotions are identified as being "old feelings" (not present time), and the emotions of the original trauma worked through completely to resolution.
___18. When triggered, most emotionally responsible people such as trained, professional psychotherapists realize that the cause of their bad feelings is an "old feeling" ("blast from the past") rather than attributing the distress to a present time, "triggering event".
____19. Licensed, experienced psychotherapists, dealing with a strongly triggered client, can be counted on to encourage the client to "take it back to the original traumatic event". They realize the futility of trying to discuss the present-time event, which triggered a (marital) conflict, as NOT the real problem.
____20. Being "in love" is a triggered feeling.
____21. Some people seem to "stay triggered" virtually all the time.
____22. The more triggered you are, the faster you can change, but the more resistant you are to change.
____23. When strong triggered which is interfering with your functioning, but with limited time to handle it, the best plan is to ignore it. (If you put your mind on something else, it will go away.)
____24. You can expect a strongly triggered, emotionally responsible, and self-aware person to still make very reasonable and responsible decisions and choices (instead of shooting themselves in the foot and self sabotaging).
____25. Before you start clearing a trauma, you can tune into how good you'll feel at the end of the process.
____26. When strongly triggered, the wisest and most emotionally responsible course of action is never to make important life decisions (such as what to advise your boss) until you have first handled the triggered feelings.
____27. Most self-defeating, destructive self-sabotage-catastrophes like impulsively quitting a job, road rage spousal abuse, sudden senseless acting out, etc.-occur because the perpetrator is strongly triggered.
____28. When triggered and feeling bad as a result, just identifying which old memory is "up" for you doesn't help to defuse the bad feelings enough to function better in present time.
____29. When triggered, the cause of it can be narrowed to one specific trauma, if cleared, restores feeling good.
____30. Typically, couples divorce, realizing that they still love each other and triggered feelings derailed them.
____31. Just because you know someone very well does not mean you can predict his/her behavior when they are very triggered.
____32. Often the triggered person is the "last to know" he/she is triggered because we all tend to attribute upsetness to present-time circumstances.
____33. A triggered person is not really dangerous because of being crippled emotionally and incapacitated to act.
____34. You usually get a warning when someone's about to be triggered.
____35. 35.A highly triggered person changes so drasticlly that it's more accurate to think of them as a different person entirely than as an
emotionally upset version of the same person you already know.
____36. The best strategy in a powerful new love match is to assume you'll be triggered a lot and plan for it accordingly.
____37. When strongly triggered, the wisest and most emotionally responsible course of action is to refrain from "acting out of triggered feelings". This always holds true-regardless of how much experience the triggered person has in handling triggered feelings.
____38.. Crusading for a just cause, self-righteousness, proselytizing are spiritual, NOT TRIGGERED feelings.
____39. In contradiction to the theory of primal therapy-advocating REALNESS-primal therapy interventions, such as trying to control patient's expression of feelings, often trigger UNREALNESS in new patients..
____40.. Impasses in conflict resolution between adversaries could be worked through if the two parties first 'cleared the triggered
feelings: [underlying the conflict] before attempting to discuss a loadedissue.
____41. Though upset, a strongly triggered person who has developed self control can thus be expected to not lose control and thus act like an adult rather than like a desperate, three-year-old child (i.e., he/she will not evidence lack of self-responsibility like the little child).
Multiple choice Questions [choose the best answer]:
42) I believe most people in authoritative leadership positions, such as national leaders,seem to always have their feelings 'under control' because they 1) don't get triggered, 2) get triggered but hide it very well, 3) may get triggered but won't let it affect their decision making, 4) are less triggerable than other people, 5) appear not to be triggered because they are largely numbed out to most of their feelings
43) How often does it happen that highly functioning people get triggered [i.e., are funtioning from an 'old reality'?]
Never Rarely occasionally moderately often quite a bit very frequently
44) When someone is obviously triggered, it's best to 1) Try to calm them down, 2) Confront them tactfully on their irrational behavior, 3) Back off, "respect their trigger" & let them talk, 4) Become like a therapist to them, give them a perspective on what happened,
and help them find the "old feeling" that got triggered.
45) Highly triggered people are DANGEROUS and major risks to act out triggered feelings destructively because 1) other people don't realize their potential for explosiveness; 2) triggered feelings can include alienated, trapped, panicked, suicidal, life threatened,
double binds &/or rage which make them desparate, impulsive and unpredictable, 3) they're highly motivated to "DO something" to get relief ASAP; emoting is not a viable option; 4) they're not open to discussion and influence 5) their reality hasshifted to "old" programming;
6) they're a tantrumming kid in an adult body; 7) all the above; 8) answers 1,2, 5; 9) answers 2,4,5,6; 10) Not true. Most are NOT dangerous.
Definition: Hero-To-Villain Flip[ H/V]: A negative transference: Turning a loved one into 'the enemy'; To "Slime", i.e., character assassinate an unwitting friend, significant other, boss, co-worker, etc., whose only offense is inadvertent similarity, physically and/or psychologically,
to someone else, such as a bad parent, bully, or combative sibling. H/V [Hero/Villain] = a special case of identity theft and inappropriate
re-assignment involving three players: perpetrator, victim, and internalized abusive figure from the perpetrator's early traumatic history.
46) Hero to Villain Flip (H/V): Someone is more likely to turn you into their enemy if 1) they've gifted you much more than you've given them, 2) Exchanges between the two of you have been balanced, 3) you've given them much more than they have to you.
47] Do you have a greater chance of hero to villian flip [H/V], that is, being rejected suddenly, permanently, and irrationally, if the perpetrator is 1] Somene you have known causually for a long time who hardly ever notices you. 2] Someone who fell passionately in love with you, and you with them. 3] A total stranger with whom, once you met him or her, there seemed to be little 'juice'.
48) The perpetrator in a H/V : 1) typically attributes all the set of unpleasant characteristics of the original abuser to the victim, 2) can finally retaliate, act out stored rage, as an adult toward the childhood abuser who was untouchable then, 3) 'takes the heat off' the real villain
(removes the emotional charge from the original 'bad' parent) and thus can sometimes resume that primary relationship, 4) All the above, 5) 1 & 2, 6) none of above.
49) A Hero/Villain Flip tends to be 1] temporary, 2] easily dispelled and reversed, once the bum rap of "mistaken identity" is documented, 3) somewhat hard to reverse, but a 'piece of cake' to undo if the perpetrator is psychologically savvy, 4) very difficult to reverse if the feelings are chronic and very strong, until and unless the old feelings of the underlying "infected wound"are cleared,
5) like other triggered feelings insofar as the perpetrator feels totally justified in his/her hateful feelings and will swear "it's in present time".
6) 1 & 2 7) 4 & 5 8) 3, 4, & 5 9) None of the above: impossible to say for sure without knowing the specifics of each situation10) 1, 2, & 3
50) Which of the following are true? 1) the "bigger" the hero, the harder the fall (worse H/V flip) 2) the more loving the hero phase, the greater the protection which the deep love affords both lovers to combat the worst of the villain flip-in other words, gives the perpetrator
'staying power' to overcome bad feelings in order to remain in the relationship, 3) If the "old feelings" underlying a H/V flip are cleared, the original loving feelings return stronger than ever and the relationship gets closer than ever, having weathered the storm, 4) If the
'old feelings' underlying a H/V Flip are not identified, and cleared, destructiveness escalates quickly to the point that the relationship 'crashes and burns on the rocks' virtually overnightto the shock, disbelief, and total horror of the victims of the H/V Flip, 5) Lovers could stay
in love essentially forever and retain passion, if they cleared triggered feelings as they arose and stayed true to the agreed-upon ground rules to conduct their relationship with mutual emotional responsibility. 6) All of the above, 7) none, 8) all except 2, 9) all except 5,10) all except 5, 11) 3 & 4 only.The next few True/False questions are devoted to the issue of How permanent is the H/V flip and under what circumstances can it be reversed?51) H/V Flips spontaneously can be reversed (flip back) with passage of time because the original loving feelings that bonded the couple together in the first place return as a result of exposure to accidental positive triggers in songs (hearing "our song"), movies, and loving memorabilia .52) H/V Flips usually don't flip back, except in unusual circumstances.53) H/V Flips tend to flip back as the perpetrator takes more emotional responsibility for all their triggered feelings and grows and matures in their understanding of these kinds of interpersonal dynamics.54) H/V flip can spontaneously flip back If the perpetrator's infected wound which caused the H/V occurred at an older stage of development,say, after age 10,Defining new terms"SADS" = Subjective Assmt Distress Scale, 10 pt scale for self measurement of emotional distress; "0" = no distress, 10 = max upsetness."Copping" is a term which is synonymous with taking responsibility, truly "embracing ownership", for an action or feeling. What distinguishes "copping" from 'garden variety' taking responsibility for an action is the degree of ownership, the lack of resentment or resistance in admitting a mistake, and the healing attitude of wanting to learn a lesson from the mistake, wishing to correct it without trying to justify the action or in any way weasel out of admitting that you regret doing it. We are all perpetrators at times, mostly minor "wrong-doers" toward other people in our lives, usually quite byaccident. What separates someone who "cops" vs. everyone else, is the attitude of openness to accepting feedback. Quite often, perpetrators accept blame reluctantly, try to justify the action with a "yes, but..." or withhold (as a hidden agenda) one's true attitude, of not really regretting having done the action. These latter situations are "not copping". In this latter situation (of not copping), the sense is that the person might try to do it again if he/she thought they might be able to sneak it by again without getting caught.55) Telling someone "You're triggered!" is the best way to facilitate their copping to being triggered.56) Asking a skilled insider in this method "Are You acting on trigger" is one of the only ways to help de-rail a highly triggered maniac from self-destructive acting out.57) The best way to prevent a highly triggered maniac from acting on trigger, which they are hell bent on doing--is clear and cogent rational documentation of the impending catastrophy--ie. the probable negativeconsequences of what they are about to do, e.g convince them of HOW they'll be ruining their life.58) To a skilled insider in this method, acknowledging to yourself that you're triggered makes youfeel better right away, probably because it's the first step in the TC healing process.59) It's difficult to cop to being triggered, even after lots of experience admitting it to yourselfespecially if you've been feeling good for quite a while.60) The vast majority of newcomers to psychotherapy can successful utilize this trauma clearing methodology without trainingbut With training almost everyone can take advantage of it.Do you think that61) The main reason some people can't successfully utilize this method is that they're tooself repressive, ie. they have too many blocks to emotional expression?62) Timing of when to do a trauma clearing session is a key deterninant of whether it will be successful or not. .63) A trauma clearing session should not be scheduled at a time when the identified patientis overly distraught because then he or she will be too triggered to be able to do it.that is, the triggered reactiveness will sabotage following the steps of the method.64) All emotional venting accomplishes the same goal of emotional release, whether or not youadmit you're triggered during the process.65, 66, 67, 68) There are at least four big advantages of scheduling a healing therapy session when the patient is triggered to the max. What are they?Hints: What exactly is it that is actually causing the bad feelings when you are triggered?How are you different, emotionally speaking, when you are triggered, in a way that could facilitate complete healing?How are you different, motivationally speaking, when you are triggered?How is the quality of healing different at the end of the session if you are super triggered at the beginning of the session?(NOTE: If you have to cheat by looking at the answer first, by all means do so, but then come back again to the question and try to answer itwithout aid of the cheat sheet. If you still can't, then, repeat this same process again.)69) The process of telling and retelling the story a trauma is an effective technique for trauma healingprovided that it's done in multiple sessions spaced across multiple sessions and not done in one session.70) Setting aside multiple sessions to heal post-adolescent traumatic memories such as car wrecks,combat traumas, rapes, natural disasters, etc. is counterproductive, & indeed, may even be prolongingthe agony unnecessarily.71) The key to permanently healing a trauma, essentially erasing a memory, is changing it at every levelmentally, emotionally, physcially, visually, and spiritually.72) In order to completely erase a trauma in a single session, it is necessary to follow a systematic orderof steps as far as what to do first, second, third, etc73) In order to ensure complete closure resolution, and non-recurrence, the visual level must be changedfirst before addressing the other levels since the brain functions in terms of pictures.74) The best time to clear a trauma if you want complete resolution is when you are not upsetby it, so you can get the required detachment and objective perspective in order to seedeeply into the cause of your distress.75) One session permanent, trauma healing is a reasonable expectation for most intensivepsychotherapy sessions as along as they are structured correctly.76) Traumatic memories are more indelible as a function of the intensity of the associated emotional charge.the stronger the emotion, the more resistant to extinction.77) In general, the earlier in life the trauma, the stronger its determinative impact on formation of the personality.78) Repeating positive affirmations multiple times, per se, can be an efficient method of clearing traumas and lowering SADS.79) Someone who has done a great deal of complete trauma clearings (to resolution) still gets triggered just as badly(meaning equally high SADS rating of upsetness on a 10 point scale) as does someone who has done no clearings.80) Just because your SADS is higher than your usual SADS (say, it's 4 instead of 2, which is your typical everyday level, ) probably doesn't mean that you're triggered, as in this example.81) You should probably plan to do a complete trauma clearing to resolution every time you're triggered.82) Copping to being triggered happens more rapidly in general after lots of experience in copping to various times when you're triggered.,83) Learning faster and more efficient ways to exoress your emotions is a skill that can be taught and improved with practice.84) A pumped up and triggered hyperalertness results in numbing-out to your gentler and vulnerable feelings, such as pain, sadness and fear.85) It is a good idea, (it'll help heal you) to repeatedly expose yourself to any triggering stimulus (which calls forth a traumatic memory). That way you can overcome your reactivity to that traumatic memory because of the learning phenomenon called "extinction"--via repeated exposure to the triggereing event, which, as a result, becomes less and less upsetting with each exposure.86) Traumatic memories in which the "core wound" is a "double bind" cannot be cleared fully to resolution.87) Almost everyone initially resists copping to being triggered, similarly to the reluctance to admit to going to see a psychotherapist.This is the end of the Triggers' Questionnaire for everyone except combat vets______________Military Programming: Questions #79 to the end of the questionnaire are for combat vets primarily88) Military programming is accomplished in an altered state of consciousness, i.e.triggered state: the point of triggering the recruit is to produce a pumped-up, hyperactive and hyper-alert, reactive, impulsivity where new learning which is needed for survival in combat is maximized.to :act out" impulsively in order to overcome the recruit's natural resistance and aversion to killing.90) The heightened states of arousal which are generated in war and basic training, since they occur in adulthood, are not powerful enough to re-program childhood programming of early conditioning.91) Frequently, among combat vets a "split" in the personality is formed as a result of the cumulative impact of the war experience, such thatthe personality forged in combat, the so-called "combat self" is more dominant in the personality than the "caring self", referring to the personalitythat they used to be prior to the war experience.92) Integrating the "combat" and "caring" selves into one harmonious and unified personality is especially difficult because of their opposite set of beliefs and values.93) The main value, goal and obsession of the combat self as taught in military programming is "survival".ANSWERS:TRUE/FALSE ANSWERS: False: 1, 3, 7, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16, 18, 19, 23, 24, 28, 30, 33, 34, 38, 41,---MULTIPLE CHOICE ANSWERS:
#42) 2 #43) moderately, #44) 3, #45) 7, 46) 3, #47) 2, #48) 4, #49) 7, #50) 8
More TRUE/FALSE ANSWERS: Beginning again with 51-54 T-F on H/V FlipFalse: 51, 53, 55. 57, 60, 63, 64, 69, 73, 74, 78, 79, 80, 81, 84, 85, 86, 88, 90(For answers to questions # 65-68, see below)65) It's the only time it's possible to fully access into awareness that particular infected wound. For example, you can never remember your birthtrauma in ordinary consciousness. The only time the memory of it (or of any other trauma) is fully accessible is when you're triggered by it.66 All of the feelings are "UP" and available to be felt and most easily released thenIt's the body's way of screaming out to you, "I'm ready to heal this wound. Do it now!"67) The amount of upsetness (SADS measurement) is the amount of "energy for change" available during that particular therapy sessionThis is your degree of engagement energetically speaking. The worse you feel at the start of a clearing the better you'll feel at the end of that sessionand the greater the available emotional energy--which is the juice for change--the greater the potential for dramatic change. Put another way, if you begin at SADS of -10, you'll end with a SMILES (positive emotional energy) of + 10. That's why we call it "Hell to Heaven in one session".68) The motiviation to change increases with higher SADS. Being highly triggered, as unpleasant as it may be, also motivates you greatly to work on yourself, that is, to "DO SOMETHING!!" about this lousy feeling!! Unfortunately, the avoidance motivation is also higher and the urge to fall back on your same old emotional bypasses are irresistable via substance abuse, sex, eating, etc. etc, ---all of our customary short circuits to avoid having to feel bad.