56140[Angel] healing PTSD, Post traumatic stress disorder
- Apr 14, 2014This information is integral to the Angel Messages:
I will be sending information about healing PTSD, Post traumatic stress disorder from time to time. Please print this out to make a workbook for yourself since all of us either have some form of PTSD or know someone who has. I will send a more detailed trauma clearing form you can print out in the next email. There are not enough therapists in the world to treat so many people, plus, as many people ask, how many therapists know the best way to do it? Enjoy.
Emotional Healing– Part II
In 1985, Dr. Michael Schlosser, my late husband, was treating severe cases of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at the VA Medical Center in Tuskegee, Alabama. PTSD was considered incurable by professionals, who generally treated the combat veterans with heavy medications. Michael knew in his heart there had to be a better way, and when he was introduced at that time to information regarding the heavenly hosts, he appealed to them for guidance in helping his patients. This resulted in a most amazing turnaround in his clinical psychology practice, the new trauma clearing approach he developed working so well with veterans and their families that he was given an entire floor in the Center with complete staffing and all other necessary support. The success of this clinic made him a legend in the field.
His formulation involved a way for the veterans to not only help themselves, but to teach it to their buddies who were too angry or alienated to come to the clinic. It is an emotional healing technology, inspired with the angels' help, that puts power back into the hands of individuals so they can heal themselves. Dr. Schlosser treated over two thousand veterans, meticulously following up with studies on his patients; in every case, nightmares and flashbacks were found to be healed permanently. After he retired in 1995, he taught this technology along with couples communication skills to the civilian population with great success.
Because these techniques are so integral to the angel messages, I am including the following succinct excerpts from his voluminous work, which is in process of compilation for publication.
~ Cynthia Rose Young Schlosser
The prevailing notion of 'being responsible' in our society, unbeknownst to most of us who are over-responsible, has a very limited connotation to physical-material-financial issues, born of so-called conventional wisdom. I term this "middle range thinking." In this context of middle range thinking, being responsible has taken on a puritanical tone of martyrdom or going without in order to meet one's obligations. It is a consciousness focused on, and limited to, one finite level of reality.
But, staying focused on the material level alone causes a deep nostalgia and sense of longing for 'something more'. Avoiding the deeper self becomes ever more painful and unfulfilling. What has been omitted is a much larger sense of responsibility to oneself that might be termed "responsibility to the soul." In this larger context of responsibility, which very few people have attuned to in the past, a broader spectrum of thinking, including 'possibility thinking', and a broader spectrum of being, including feeling good and being true to the spiritual purpose of one's incarnation, become included in the broader meaning of being responsible. Truly, being responsible to all levels of the self is quite a balancing act that can become extremely difficult and demanding, especially for those who have been overwhelmed by the financial level alone!
Just focusing on emotional self responsibility, the problem is that most people avoid bad feelings for the simple reason that they don't have a clue how to deal responsibly with their feelings. Even the idea that they are stuck in 'middle range feeling' does not occur to them. We are inured to patterns of avoidance, and opening to 'bad' feelings too often is like opening a Pandora's box of such unpleasantness that, once briefly glimpsed, our feeling awareness gets immediately slammed shut upon first viewing. We say, "Even if it's broken, if it can't be fixed, then why give it any attention?"
Most people bow to the ignorance of conventional wisdom and avoid or drug bad feelings, eating, popping a pill or distracting themselves by putting their mind on something else, reading, meditating, watching a movie, escaping physically by going on vacation, exercising, having sex. They do not have the means to be emotionally self responsible, and lack the skills of emotional release to help themselves feel better when bad feelings arise. They just don't know where to start.
Conventional ignorance about which techniques to use to heal painful feelings stems from lack of standards, values, or guidelines to govern emotional self responsibility. People have no rules such as, 'If you feel bad, you're in an old feeling'. Also, the distinction between hedonism ('If it feels good, do it') and guidance is confused. The ancient shaman’s rule is that if you feel increasingly worse after making a decision, you chose the wrong option, whereas feeling better and better over time is your innate wisdom's way of telling that you made the right decision.
Joe Q Public would love to learn emotional self help, but has long since given up on the possibility, especially after watching his parents blow it, seeing therapy that did not work, and watching gurus oversimplify the means (in essence, telling us to just 'think positive'). The spirit is willing, but the flesh and mind has been unaware of what is possible. Worse yet, our well intentioned outreach toward growth has met largely with disappointments in terms of numerous new age type fads. The track record of growth technology in our culture has been poor, leading us to pessimism and the assumption that no new paradigm exists which would work any better than the many methodologies already sampled.
This dilemma is a double bind: damned if you do seek help, damned if you don't, so why try? Perhaps the single greatest obstacle to most people's taking emotional responsibility is their lack of understanding about the phenomenon of being triggered. One of the prime areas of non-awareness is knowing when you are triggered into old feelings toward someone else; this is called transference, and it means putting the face of a significant other (sometimes a parent) on a new significant other, making them into either a hero or a villain, or both. This process of turning someone into someone else in terms of your emotional reaction to them is so prevalent and automatic in any close relationship that it is amazing how blindsided you feel not to have seen it coming.
Psychotherapists typically see couples separate after their transference flips from hero to villain and the unsuspecting jilted mate complains, "I don't know what hit me! Everything seemed to be going so well. Sure, we had a little fight, but it was no big deal." The perspective of the one leaving because of a negative transference is, "I never saw that dark side of her/him before. It's a good thing I found out what he/she was really like before it's too late. Boy, I hate how petty, nasty, picky, bitchy, abusive, he/she gets, and I won't put up with it!" which can be translated to, "I can't stand these triggered feelings like I felt with my stepmother/dad."
As long as one lacks awareness of the dynamic of being triggered in a close bond, blaming is inevitable. Taking responsibility for feeling bad makes the difference between actually believing that your partner has mysteriously metamorphosed into the beast of the black lagoon forcing you to take steps to protect yourself from this monster (a knee jerk reaction termed 'acting out of trigger') versus recognizing that, sure, you've discovered a darker side in your significant other that you had not seen before, but this change is really an expansion of your perception rather than a change in the partner. The shift is dramatic from 'it's something terrible in him/her that I can't stand' ('he must change') to 'I got triggered into the same horrible conflict I felt with my dad, and I need to clear it,' ('I can change; this memory is my responsibility, and I can handle it'). The key change in perspective from believing that the problem is in the other person to seeing it within myself is all the difference in the world; one goes from helpless victim to empowerment, from emotionally irresponsible to response-able, able to respond in the true sense of the word.
Using emotional healing skills, one can do something about it once the bad feelings are owned – 'It is me feeling bad, regardless who triggered me or how I got triggered; I was an accident waiting to happen with these painful, monstrous feelings inside myself that my partner inadvertently revealed to me. It’s a wonderful opportunity to heal a wounded part of myself that has been waiting inside. It's truly work on my own pain that I would have had to do sooner or later anyway in order to become emotionally free'.
Most couples without emotional healing technology feel too overwhelmed to figure out how to heal this past emotional baggage, how to maintain high integrity (win-win) during the hero-to-villain flip phases of the relationship. Another crucial insight in transference wisdom is realizing ahead of time when entering an intimate relationship that the hero-to-villain flip is inevitable. This "aha" will save you from total heartache and having to break up. The inevitability of the flip is because no one on this plane can perfectly parent their child, and a love-hate bond is formed to some extent with your parents regardless how good they were; even the best parents sometimes fail to respond to the child's cry in a timely manner, or even inadvertently abandon them, from the perspective of the helpless child. These wounds experienced by the child make up the traumas which are healed using emotional healing skills [also referred to as alchemical trauma transmutation, or ATT]. The closer the love bond, the more powerful the pain and outrage the child feels toward the loved parent when the parent does not respond according to the child’s needs, and so the stronger the potential villain transference later in life.
As an adult, the best defense against allowing the hero-to-villain flip to destroy your intimate relationships is to build ground rules ahead of time for how to handle this inevitability. While still in the hero or honeymoon phase, plan for what to do when you encounter the transference into villain. Develop a support system of others you both can turn to for clearing at times when either one of you feels too devastated and betrayed by your significant other to use ATT together. See the hero to villain flip for what it really is – a call to growth, a chance to reintegrate some of the most powerful 'diverted' love energy of your life. When you experience the hero to villain flip and all of a sudden your significant other becomes the enemy, this is a chance to claim your power as never before! It is a chance for true soul retrieval of your wounded magical inner child self in the deepest, most satisfying sense.
In creating your future as a couple in an intimate relationship, set up a oneness space that includes ground rules for safe and effective sharing. Honesty is the pathway to intimacy, and it must be carefully nurtured and maintained throughout the relationship for realness to exist. Being intense is really staying in love. Straight talk and intimacy keep love alive, and prevent game playing that deadens the heart; dishonesty or ‘fogging’ in relationship is lethal to the trust of the inner child self.
Groundrules should be carefully created and adhered to, therefore, an important task in a new relationship is to create rules for emotional sharing and self responsibility, especially in the case of upsetness. This must be done right away, while still in the glow of the honeymoon phase of falling in love. Don't wait until one of the partners is triggered into painful feelings. When a person does become triggered, they are experiencing an altered hypnotic state of consciousness, similar to a dream, a dream that usually originates from emotional traumas at an earlier age. In this stage, a person is effectively a small child, and is in the throes of intense painful feelings, even of life and death. In this state, creating a safe container is difficult if not impossible to do.
When a person is upset, do not expect them to be rational. Ideas are rational, feelings are not, in the conventional linear way of figuring rationality. Feelings are compressed information, like 'zip' files in a computer, and can be opened and expanded to produce enough information to fill many pages. Remember that feelings are the water element and, like water molecules that scientists have discovered have the capacity to hold more information than any other known medium (research reports that computers of the future will store information in purified water), feelings can unfold rational information almost to infinity under the right conditions. Focus and attention on feelings, letting them flow in deep meditation on them, unlocks or unzips information contained within them. Like water, they operate according to flow intelligence. Feelings must flow in environments of love and empathy to heal best. As children of light usher in the golden age, they learn how to flow with feelings in safe and non-destructive ways, with love and empathy for the feelings themselves and the inner wounded parts of the self that are generating them.
Even though a person can safely heal feelings in deep meditation alone, it can be very helpful and advantageous for a triggered person to work with a facilitator who holds the loving space and helps if any blockages occur in the flowing process. If you are facilitating a triggered person and he or she gets stuck and feelings stop flowing, usually repeating back to them whatever they were feeling just before the blockage happened will serve to get the feelings flowing again. If that does not work, you can ask them to do a body scan and find places of tension in their body. Unconscious feelings are stored in body tissue as tension. Remember that the body is about eighty percent water! When the place with greatest tension is identified, have them put their hands over this spot and repeat over and over quietly to these tense feelings, "soften and flow, soften and flow, soften and flow," until feelings are flowing once again. If the feelings merely move to another part of the body, repeat the process, and if this doesn't work, have the person pretend that the most tense spot in the body has a mouth and can talk; have them 'ask' this part of the body, "What information are you holding for me? What do you have to tell me?" They almost always receive an answer.
As a facilitator, be very quiet while this is going on. It is wise to never interrupt long silences. In these deep introspective silences, the dramatic alchemy of emotional healing takes place. Resist urges to offer sage counsel and advice, to 'fix it'. Healing must come from within a person to be permanently effective. If they need help, they will let you know, either with words or body language, and the only help to offer is to get them back into their flow of feeling.
Whether you are working alone with your own feelings, or facilitating another person, invoke the golden rule – feelings must flow to heal. Being 'in your head', intellectualizing, can get in the way and cause dissociation from the feelings. Whether it is you or someone you are helping, whatever it takes to stay with the feelings so they flow, do it. There are many methods to access feeling states. For example, playing soft evocative beautiful music in the background, such as by Enya, can set the stage. As long as the means to opening and staying with feelings do not cause harm to self, others, or property, use them to facilitate the flowing of feelings.
The role of facilitator is to stay in a meditative state of seeing the inner being – all the wonder, power, ability and love – of the partner while he or she is clearing. A most important skill is keeping focus on that perfection, the radiant image of your partner's divine presence, the eternal, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient inner Self that is perfect, not on outward actions or limited temporary identity. Always see the good(god) in the other. This is incredibly important.
If you are working on your own feelings alone, this is also the guiding star of meditation. Always be aware of yourself as a perfected divine being, even while temporarily experiencing emotional pain. During the process of healing, pathways form like currents of water in the ocean; and then, like the hundredth monkey phenomenon, a time comes in the astral plane when quantum leaps for all are made. Information forms a morphogenetic field, so that all who experience painful feelings more easily heal them in safe and natural ways.
You must be as little children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Enlightened people are childlike. They laugh when they are happy and cry when they are sad. In so doing, their emotional bodies stay clear and pure, healing on an ongoing basis. A healthy emotional body vibrates with awe at the splendor and majesty of Divine Being, with supreme happiness.
Working with feelings is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to the world at this time. Healer, heal thyself. Keep the eye single, and the body shall be filled with light.
Following is an illustration for implementing the concept of setting up a safe container to be used whenever either partner is upset and needs help working through painful feelings.
Madge gets upset and informs Joe that she is experiencing difficult and disturbing feelings with resultant distraught thoughts. She asks Joe to help her by sharing in a safe container. Joe checks within himself and decides whether he can do it right then or if it would be better to wait until later that evening when the kids are in bed and all is quiet. He decides it is best to wait and agrees to share with her at 9:00 PM; he asks her if it is okay if they limit her sharing to a half hour, so that he will have time to process his own feelings in case he has strong reactions to what is bothering her. She agrees.
At 9:00 PM, they go alone into a private room where no telephone, television, or other interruptions will occur. They sit on a couch and face each other. Joe asks Madge, "What is bothering you?"
Madge goes deep within in silence to get fully in touch with her disturbing feelings. After a pause of about a minute she says, "I don't know. I guess I am afraid you will leave me."
Joe thanks her for sharing by saying, "Thank you for sharing these feelings with me. What makes you afraid I will leave you?" Notice that he does not try to talk her out of it, or reassure her of his love; he is merely helping her get in touch with her feelings to the bottom of what is bothering her.
She replies, "I don't know. I am just afraid. My father left my mother when we were six, and every guy I ever got involved with left me after a couple of months. I have tried to trust, over and over, but it just doesn't work. I guess I have never trusted anyone since my father left."
Joe remains silent, not interrupting her. He keeps steady eye contact, and uses his facial expression and body language to let her know she is safe to continue.
She continues, "I just don't know...." At this point she bends over crying, her head in her hands. The crying turns into wracking sobs. Inwardly Joe is rejoicing, for he knows that this is a major healing catharsis for Madge. He is witnessing an emotional miracle, and remains very quiet, careful not to disturb her deep inner flow, simply handing her a Kleenex. Madge cries deeply for four or five more minutes. Finally she looks up, as if waiting for a cue from Joe, who can see that she looks very relieved. Obviously, these are tears that have been wanting to come out ever since she was a little girl. He remains silent, guessing correctly that more is coming.
With wide eyes, something occurs to her! Madge exclaims, "My father loved me! I always thought he left because of me. I always thought that if I had been a better little girl for him, that if I had tried harder, he wouldn't have left us. With all of my relationships I tried so hard! But I think it was my trying that drove them all away.” She paused, shocked at this insight. She remained silent for a few more minutes, going deeply within, realizing more and more. “Wow” she thought to herself, “That was it…I was trying too hard. I wasn’t being my self. I was so uptight about pleasing them that I ended up driving them all away!”
Then Madge looked up at Joe and continued explaining to him, “But you know what? Daddy didn't leave because of me. Now I remember!”.Her heart was beating wildly at this realization that she had not caused her Father to leave. It was one of the biggest discoveries of her life!
“Oh Joe! Daddy was always that way. Oh my God! Now I can see! It was the way he was! He was that way! He never stayed anywhere very long. I remember him telling us about it. He told us how he never stayed at any job or place very long. He told us that because were always moving and leaving our friends behind and our neighborhood. Just when we would get finally settled down in a new place we would have to pick up and move again. I hated it! I saw even then that he would never commit to anyone or anything. He always told us that he was a drifter, he said that he felt as if the wind was his true father."
She paused. Tears fell from her eyes. Oh her poor Father! What sadness and pain he must have felt inside. Oh how she wished that God could have reached him then, that somehow a higher power could have brought peace to his heart!. For a long while she was quiet. Deep in her heart she prayed to God, “Dear Father in Heaven, find my father and bless him with your healing light of love and wisdom. Heal his past. Let him experience what it is like to be loved and wanted!”
A strange and wondrous transformation was taking place within her. She saw a vision of divine light shining on her father as he was when she was a little girl. She saw him transform before her very eyes. A look of peace came over his usually haunted features. She saw him take a long deep breath as a smile opened across his face. She saw him turn to her Mother and say to her, “Darling Nettie, you know, I don’t think I will have to leave this time. I think that now I can settle down. I can finally see my way to trust my employer. I believe he will to do right by us, and that he will be my friend. Darling Nettie, I think this time we can finally consider ourselves to be home.!”
Wisely, Joe held his counsel, staying quiet. Her deep silence was golden. He sensed how important this deep introspection was.
Finally, Madge continued. "Daddy had been hurt very bad in the war. His own father had died before he was born. His mother was an alcoholic and he was raised by the sisters at Catholic school. Oh Joe! I remember when he said he never belonged to anybody! Oh, how could I have forgotten?”
Now it all makes sense. Oh Joe, JOE! I wasn't the cause of him leaving!"
This was the biggest realization of her entire life.
Madge again looked down, quiet. Joe could tell more deep changes were happening in her soul as she was remembering those earlier times.
Deep inside Joe realized how deeply his dear Madge had been hurt and confused in her childhood. Oh, the pain she must have been through! Joe's heart felt as if it were breaking. He reached for a Kleenex to wipe his own eyes.
Then Madge burst out again, "Oh God! I am so glad that Daddy is OK now. I know God is healing him. I can see it! I can feel it! I am so glad I took the time to remember! I’m so glad that I asked God to help. I’m so glad that I know now that it wasn't me that caused him to leave. “
Madge fell back on the cushions with a deep sigh of relief, her hand palm up on her forehead. She stared at the ceiling, her mind still very far away.
After awhile, she began crying softly with tears of relief. It felt so good to let go of that deep chilling fear that had haunted her all of her life. Floods and floods of deep healing soothed the core of her being.
Joe watched in amazement.
His heart was rejoicing and singing thanksgiving to Divine Being.”Oh Thank you dear God for helping my beloved access these deep troubling feelings that have been hurting her all her life. Thank you God for helping her heal!”
Joe himself was lost in thought. He remembered when he married her, he knew how insecure she was. No reassurance that he made of his love ever touched that troubled little girl inside. Nothing he did ever reached her to these depths. Now he knew she was healing. Finally! His prayers are being answered!
With immense relief he held the space in silence while his beautiful Madge lay quietly on the sofa in front of him. Ah!... the mysterious alchemy of emotional healing! How it was transforming his dear sweet Madge! She was becoming more radiant before his very eyes. Oh, how thankful he was! How very thankful!
Madge finally stirred, speaking softly, "Dear Joe, my love, oh my dear Joe."
He reached out. Taking her hand gently, he gazed deeply into her eyes.
"Thank you, Joe," was all she could say. "Thank you."
They held hands in silence a long time. Finally, about 9:30, Madge asked Joe if he wanted to work on his feelings. Joe reflected quietly for a few moments and said, "Madge, I am trembling inside. I feel the power of Holy Spirit so mightily blessing us. I am beyond words. I feel that I need to pray."
"Okay," she said. "Me too."
And that was how they ended the session.
Here are ten easy ways to undermine your relationship by emotional irresponsibility. If uncomfortable emotions arise from reading these, go within with unconditional empathy for that part of your inner self feeling this way. You may want to ask that these feelings be healed. If you decide to use the ten minute exercise [see below] to process these feelings, a good question to ask might be, "What is upsetting about these ten points?" followed by, "If all things were equally possible, what would happen that could heal these feelings?" Be prepared to answer the questions more than once.
1. Triangulation – a term meaning to let someone else be more important than your mate, allowing someone or something else get between. This includes loyalty to other people, making others more important than your mate, for example, staying 'married' to your original family, being ‘married’ to work, hobby, friends. Mate should be second only to God.
2. Being too busy to share feelings on a daily basis, too preoccupied for quality sharing, not allowing intimacy; being a workaholic or emotionally unavailable; staying numb, refusing to melt, not opening the heart. Remember that sexual or kundalini energy should be aroused to rise up the spine and stimulate higher glandular centers, healing body and spirit. To do so the heart must be open. Clear blockages from the heart on an ongoing basis.
3. Expecting the partner to make you happy; holding partner accountable for your own bad feelings; blaming partner if you are not happy. This includes judging, labeling, and putting mate down.
4. Threatening to leave, threatening divorce; this sometimes includes unnecessary risk taking or suicidal behavior (such as associating with criminals or driving dangerously) that might attract disaster to the relationship. If you make threats, you put in motion destructive energy. Why create what you don't want? Why implant programming that undermines what you really want? Why not visualize you as a couple radiant with happiness and love, mutually committed to heal upset feelings and work toward what you really want?
5. Refusing to process feelings when upset, holding grudges, bringing up past mistakes or former lovers and relationships, acting out negative feelings. Every relationship should have mutually agreed upon ground rules for working through feelings before upsets arise. Practice healing your own emotions instead of projecting them onto your mate. Learn what emotions are and how they get wounded and how they heal. Feelings heal when allowed to flow safely and nondestructively in an empathetic atmosphere, either within yourself or with a therapist.
6. Consciously or unconsciously setting up double binds; keeping your eye out for a better relationship to come along; gossiping and bad mouthing partner to others. If you establish a judgmental atmosphere (perhaps like your parents did with each other and with you) then that's what you will get back in return.
7. Being phony and dishonest; keeping up a front or facade, even if it is to please the partner, to keep an act going all the time; to live in denial and hide true feelings. Non-intimacy, such as avoidance of meaningful eye contact, allowing only superficial communication, and similar behaviors deaden a relationship.
8. Not apologizing or admitting when you have made a mistake. Refusing to grow toward enlightenment. Not benefiting from experience, nor forgiving mistakes of self and others. Rejecting life's lessons is a formula guaranteed to waste this lifetime.
9. Not letting your partner influence your decisions; insensitivity and defensiveness. Not listening. Not respecting your mate; insisting they go along with activities that carry no interest for them.
10. Letting your health go, neglecting care of yourself or your appearance such as teeth; obsessive drinking, smoking, substance abuse, gambling, financial irresponsibility, and so on.
Note that these behaviors often result from a ‘hero to villain' flip. Perhaps when upset occurs in a relationship, one partner may go from a positive to a negative emotional parent transference within his or her inner child self to the mate, where the mate becomes seen as unsupportive and negative rather than loving and nurturing. If the upset partner does not identify these strong emotions as originally coming from early childhood wounding, and blames the mate for his or her upset feelings in present time, the relationship suffers. Instead of acting out destructively, it is good to discuss commitment to healing and clearing these feelings with emotional processing.
Ten Minute Exercise: If a person feels troubled or depressed most of the time, it is wise to commit to a great deal of emotional flowing, by loving the feelings themselves and watching them heal. Among several emotional healing practices which are effective for implementing this commitment are the ten minute exercise, trauma clearing practices, eye movement, and the practice of 'feeling and healing bad feelings with empathy and understanding'. Other methods such as breathing and tapping may also work well in individual situations, but usually require a partner trained to do them. Also, using ‘quick fix’ methods like tapping may bypass important lessons and wisdom revealed by using more in depth measures such as these described here.
One advantage of the ten minute exercise is its efficiency in transforming most bad feelings quickly; also, it can be easily utilized with minimal training, its main stipulation is that the listener agrees not to interrupt, but just to listen lovingly and without judgment, and to repeatedly ask the salient question for that particular emotional issue when given the cue to do so. A listener should never interrupt long periods of silence, for it is in the silence that insight arises.
"Ten minutes" works very well for quickly resolving double binds and ambivalence. It is a session in which a listener asks you a question about your feelings, hears your answer, and then asks the question again. This is repeated over and over until you feel resolution, usually in about ten minutes. The listener does not give advice or interrupt in any way, allowing your own emotions to go through their natural healing process. The question itself is chosen by you; examples are: What are you feeling now? What is upsetting you? What would make you feel better?
In general, the ten minute exercise is best utilized in cases when the issue is less loaded, and seems to involve present time stress. The trauma clearing exercise, on the other hand, is the treatment of choice to resolve strongly triggered old feelings when enough time can be set aside to complete the process. In both cases, emotional release needs to continue until good feelings return. Encourage your body to expect to feel resolution, then always conclude by 'anchoring in' good feelings.
Remember that everyone is their own worst enemy when triggered. Whenever someone feels this way, they are not in present time, even though this is very difficult for them to admit, because they are sure the problem is in present time and not inside themselves. It is good to have someone facilitate your clearing experience in case you become blocked. If someone is helping you, their job is simply to focus on the expected outcome of complete healing, listen, empathize, take notes, stay interested, never interrupt, and keep you moving along the process, rather than you rambling onto another new issue or problem, quitting, or otherwise avoiding the pain of facing the trauma. Resistance rather than willingness to clear may be expected from a triggered person, which is common with very traumatic memories, and anyone helping you can expect objections or resistances from you in the process:
"It's too hard. I can't keep doing this. Let me leave. That's enough! Well, I feel somewhat better now, and I have to go. You've helped me enough today. It's getting worse; you're just going to make me worse like all the other therapy has. Stop torturing me. Can't you see I can't take it? Lay off. It won't work. You're wasting my time. I know I'll never get rid of this. You don't understand how bad this is. You don't care about me; if you did, you'd know that this trauma will never go away. I've tried everything already. There's no cure. Let me out of here before I go crazy, or worse, lose control of my anger."
Keep the goal of resolution in mind all the time. These resistances should be responded to with variations of: "Yes, it is hard. That's why you've avoided feeling it up to now because you thought you couldn't take it – you'd go crazy, lose control of your anger or die. Remember, it's just feelings, just a memory now, in your imagination, not really happening anymore. It takes courage to face your feelings. It's not easy, but you can do it. You faced death and made it. You can do this. This is the showdown now. You said you want to get well. You agreed to gut it out before we started. The choice is to do it now, get it behind you today, or continue suffering like you have been for many more years. Wouldn't you like to get it behind you today? Have it over with! You're doing fine. We're getting there, stay with it. Let's don't stop in the middle. These feelings you're having are part of the clearing process. Go ahead and say them, shout them out if you want to!"
Often a person does not really know what trauma underlies present feelings of upset. They just know they are angry or upset or down – very triggered. When this is the case, clearing must start with 'general dumping' in which the patient vents forawhile, totally convinced that present stress is the cause of their distress. Mirror, or repeat back, any statedfeelings; watch for strong feelings. This can take anywhere from two minutes to half an hour or so, until the person begins to center on a particular, volatile feeling or theme, for example, telling several stories which all have the theme 'I was ripped off' or a common sense of being afraid. As facilitator, just let them talk freely until any very strong feelings are uncovered, then ask, "Is there any time in the past when you remember feeling this same way before?"
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