- May 18, 2004Dear All,
I remember as I child I saw talent in all.
I knew few kids who were good in painting,someone was good in sports
or studies. It felt as if everyone had a path some way to make a
living, win over hearts and prizes and have success and money and
riches..and win friends..
I felt I had nothing in me. I couldnt paint well or write..the only
poem I wrote as a child was a fun poem. When I showed it to my dad he
got angry and told me never to write and that I had no talent in me
Maybe it was that or something else but I kept watering this seed of
impotency in me...believing that i would be never be able to write,
paint or do things to touch others heart, to earn living or have a
path...I knew that I could love people and life and it felt being the
King or GOD when I hugged someone or became mirror to have someone
find the way to his or her heart..
Isint it strange to have someone who paints named as painter and and
to have someone who does well in studies learn and have living for
himself and make a mark for himself
I still wonder what is it that they call for someone who has only his
heart to offer..someone who has dreams only for healing, wiping tears
of others, and hoping to bring miracles and healing into others life
by touching them..or by making them cry and letting their sins or
problems go away with the tears that they shed...I dont think there
is any word for it..or any reconginiton from society...
There are no prizes for it or no money, path of career..
I had once read of this metaphor of beauty of two kinds of
flowers...there is this beauty of a rose..thats more appearent to the
eyes and there is this another beauty that of cotton..that soaks away
our sweat and protects and comforts us.
How many in the world tell ourselves that we are not Rose..and Rose
is all that the world wants us to be. Ohh...if only I had a beautiful
face, body, good job, money, then I could have had love, friends,
How easily we forget that this beauty of cotton has its relevence in
our lives, spirituality, our relationships with ourself, God and
everyone around us...
That there isint any shame in not being a Rose...
I saw Hilirys reply to my poem and I smiled..I smiled at my
past...the lonliness that i felt in my life and the impotency of
spirit that I stung me hard...and also I feel how harsh our society
is and we are in viewing and measuring ourselves....
Like how a woman who cant produce a child is ridiculed, hated,
disowned..like how if we cant produce results of others likings and
tastes we are termed as failures...the only parameter of success is
measured through money, sex, facial beauty and that of body..and what
clothes we wear..
In Most of the Temples and Churches atleast in India..if u pay them
fees or give them donation you cant cut short of the queue and meet
God before anyone can meet HIM or have more blessings bestowed upon
by the Preists..
what message is we get here..Be a Rose and Cut the Queque and Reach
Got before everyone else does..
Everytime I meet someone..I tell myself Look at the Heart..Look at
the heart..in many a people its easy to find..in many others they are
so lost in being a Rose or wanting to be a Rose that they create
blocks that of pride and aroogance on their worth, body, etc..
Who are You??? People ask you when u meet them for the first time.
And then You have to answer them I am XXXXXX with the profession that
u are leading or the job that u are doing..or with reference with
someone whos influentail or rich...so we are known by the contacts
that we keep or worth that we have in money...and its so starnge...
I am Me..I have no Job as of now and been unemployed for 3 yrs..I
know nothing of practicalities of life or dont know the way to make a
living for myself without selling myself or compramosing on what i
believe in..but then I am here to Love and heal, to wipe tears and
make ppl smile to Hug someone and kiss gently.
Maybe My end will be a Failure in Life in the eyes of the world at
large..I just hope and Wish that Hopefully I will always remember
this metaphor of the beauty of cotton all my life.
I See many people around the world who have no Rose peetals to show
to the world...I just hope that somehow my feelings and love will
reach to them and touch them and make them feel alright..just as how
I have started feeling about it after all my life lived so far..
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