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In loving memory - and moving forward together

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  • Pamela McLean
    Dear Caterina and Noemi, William, and other friends of Maria. Thank you Caterine for the sensitive suggestions in your email, copied below, on how people can
    Message 1 of 2 , Mar 16, 2011
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      Dear Caterina and Noemi, William, and other friends of Maria.

      Thank you Caterine for the sensitive suggestions in your email, copied below, on how people can connect at a distance with the memorial to Maria.

      I appreciate your suggestions which remind me of what a group of us did thirty years ago, on the day of the funeral of a dear friend, Max Clowes who also died suddenly.
      Max had given up his professorship in Sussex and moved to the far South West of England to join a project on computing in schools, based in Plymouth. For most of us - his friends and colleagues living in Devon and Cornwall - it was not realistic to plan to travel to his funeral, which was "up country".

      Instead of going to the funeral, we met together at the college where he had been working. We all knew Max, but we did not all know each other. We shared our stories of the work we were doing with him (formally and informally), the impact he had on us, and how he would continue to have an influence on us in the future - how much we valued him in so many ways. Even now, thirty year later, I find tears in my eyes as I remember our loss. I also remember, on that day of memorial, slipping away from the group at the exact time of his funeral service, so that I could slowly and quietly read the set words and prayers of the funeral service and feel connected with the real one that was taking place so far away from me.

      Our event in Plymouth was small, and it was different to attending the event where everyone else had gathered, but it felt right - not better, not worse - just different and a completely fitting and appropriate way to celebrate Max's life and to mourn his loss.

      William (and others who would like to attend Maria's memorial but live too far away) I hope that by sharing this story I will bring some comfort to you, and help you to respond positively to the suggestions that Cateraine has made regarding how you might be at Maria's memorial "in spirit".

      Also be encouraged about the continuation of Maria's work in one way or another. Even thirty years after Max's death I am still working under his influence, ten years after Peter Oyawale's death I am still working under his influence. If Maria has infludenced you strongly you will find some ways to collect up the fragments of her work and vision and go forward. Maria and I had not started working seriously together, we had just expressed an intention to do so. We were going to work more closely together as part of a collaboration I was planning called "collaborators connect" - which would involve people who like Maria, and me (and Tobias of Kabissa and others) - people who have some kind of connection between Europe and Africa, which also involves some kind of online connection.

      I believe that by coming together online with people who knew Maria better that I did, I will discover more about her work and what she was trying to do and how she saw "collaborators connect" fitting in with her wider vision and work. I also hope that people who know her well will share their stories and continue to support each other in moving forward with the vision. 

      Let's agree that we will not all separate out once the memorial event is over, but we will continue to gather together online to support each other in doing, even in a small way, what we we think we might have done with Maria.

      Pamela

      ---------- Forwarded message ----------
      From: Caterine Leclercq  Date: 16 March 2011 15:26
      Subject: connection on 26th of March between friends of maria Agnese in Rome, Nairobi, Dar es salam and other places

      Dear William, dear Ramathan, dear Ken, dear Sam, dear Pamela

       

      As you know we are organizing an event for Maria Agnese on the 26th of March in Rome. There will be a mass at 4.30 pm (6.30 in Tanzania/Kenya) at San Igino papa  and then till late in the evening people will be together to honour her memory with songs, music, texts, acrobacy,…

       

      Many people in Tanzania, in Kenya, in other countries and  in other Italian cities would have liked to be with us but can not be physically present.

      We would like to try and be together in another way.

       

      For example we could read texts sent to us during the commemoration. This had already been done during the funeral  of Maria: we had read the message sent by William. Please tell this to any person who Maria Agnese knew and who may wish to contribute in this way.

       

      It would also be nice if you wish to organize to meet at the same time as us in Nairobi and in Dar es salam with other people who knew Maria Agnese and create a small event yourself.

       

      In addition or in alternative it would be possible for us to be connected through skype at a certain time, after 6.00 pm in Rome (8 pm in Tanzania or Kenya)

       

      Skype connection that could be used are noemi.bev and marika.ferrari

       

      Please send us the connection you would use.

       

      With warm regards

       

      Catherine and Noemi

       

       

      You may forward this mail to other people of course.


    • Janet Feldman
      Dear All, Greatest thanks for this very helpful way of moving forward, and my apologies to be offline for some time. I have heard from Ken about the memorial
      Message 2 of 2 , Mar 16, 2011
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        Dear All,

        Greatest thanks for this very helpful way of moving forward, and my apologies to be offline for some time. I have heard from Ken about the memorial on March 26th, and was wondering how I as an individual could contribute.

        Pam, immense appreciation for sharing your story of your friend, Max Clowes, and for sharing how you and others are still working in his memory and spirit. I believe there is much we can do in this regard in terms of Maria Agnese. I, like you, was just starting to explore ways that Maria Agnese and I could collaborate: our last emails, at the end of 2010, declared our mutual love and respect, and our hope that we could build upon that personal foundation to develop a working relationship that would encompass all of our friends, and so much more. I hope to move forward on that basis with friends--new and old--and welcome all ideas in that regard.

        I suggest that we link all friends in our various groups--Pam has suggested Dadamac for that, I think--and bring in Tobias Eigen of Kabissa. And perhaps consider working on a grant that would focus on some of Maria Agnese's passions:  art, agriculture, sustainable development, Africa.

        Pam, could you share your ideas about the "collaborators connect" project?

        For Caterina, Noemi, and others planning her memorial in Italy, I think the idea of reading text messages is wonderful, and let's all send one! Where should we do that? I think we should post those tributes, if we feel we can, on our forums here (plz cc LFEO, Mendenyo, Holistic Helping, and Nafsi Afrika forums). 

        On a phone call, is that possible?  It would be very uplifting, if so!

        I hope small groups will get together in all of the places where people feel connected to Maria Agnese, including Tanzania, Kenya, and Italy. Those of us who are "solo" can post and email text tributes, and possibly join a call. And then, thereafter, develop a "project" focus, in addition to keeping her supportive and caring spirit alive in whatever we do.

        With deepest sympathy to all of Maria Agnese's friends and "family," however defined, and in loving memory always!  Janet (Feldman, kaippg@...)


        -----Original Message-----
        From: Pamela McLean
        Sent: Mar 16, 2011 5:18 PM
        To: dadamaclearnersgroup@..., learningfromeachother , William Wambura , Catherine Leclercq
        Subject: [learningfromeachother] In loving memory - and moving forward together



        Dear Caterina and Noemi, William, and other friends of Maria.

        Thank you Caterine for the sensitive suggestions in your email, copied below, on how people can connect at a distance with the memorial to Maria.

        I appreciate your suggestions which remind me of what a group of us did thirty years ago, on the day of the funeral of a dear friend, Max Clowes who also died suddenly.
        Max had given up his professorship in Sussex and moved to the far South West of England to join a project on computing in schools, based in Plymouth. For most of us - his friends and colleagues living in Devon and Cornwall - it was not realistic to plan to travel to his funeral, which was "up country".

        Instead of going to the funeral, we met together at the college where he had been working. We all knew Max, but we did not all know each other. We shared our stories of the work we were doing with him (formally and informally), the impact he had on us, and how he would continue to have an influence on us in the future - how much we valued him in so many ways. Even now, thirty year later, I find tears in my eyes as I remember our loss. I also remember, on that day of memorial, slipping away from the group at the exact time of his funeral service, so that I could slowly and quietly read the set words and prayers of the funeral service and feel connected with the real one that was taking place so far away from me.

        Our event in Plymouth was small, and it was different to attending the event where everyone else had gathered, but it felt right - not better, not worse - just different and a completely fitting and appropriate way to celebrate Max's life and to mourn his loss.

        William (and others who would like to attend Maria's memorial but live too far away) I hope that by sharing this story I will bring some comfort to you, and help you to respond positively to the suggestions that Cateraine has made regarding how you might be at Maria's memorial "in spirit".

        Also be encouraged about the continuation of Maria's work in one way or another. Even thirty years after Max's death I am still working under his influence, ten years after Peter Oyawale's death I am still working under his influence. If Maria has infludenced you strongly you will find some ways to collect up the fragments of her work and vision and go forward. Maria and I had not started working seriously together, we had just expressed an intention to do so. We were going to work more closely together as part of a collaboration I was planning called "collaborators connect" - which would involve people who like Maria, and me (and Tobias of Kabissa and others) - people who have some kind of connection between Europe and Africa, which also involves some kind of online connection.

        I believe that by coming together online with people who knew Maria better that I did, I will discover more about her work and what she was trying to do and how she saw "collaborators connect" fitting in with her wider vision and work. I also hope that people who know her well will share their stories and continue to support each other in moving forward with the vision. 

        Let's agree that we will not all separate out once the memorial event is over, but we will continue to gather together online to support each other in doing, even in a small way, what we we think we might have done with Maria.

        Pamela

        ---------- Forwarded message ----------
        From: Caterine Leclercq  Date: 16 March 2011 15:26
        Subject: connection on 26th of March between friends of maria Agnese in Rome, Nairobi, Dar es salam and other places

        Dear William, dear Ramathan, dear Ken, dear Sam, dear Pamela

         

        As you know we are organizing an event for Maria Agnese on the 26th of March in Rome. There will be a mass at 4.30 pm (6.30 in Tanzania/Kenya) at San Igino papa  and then till late in the evening people will be together to honour her memory with songs, music, texts, acrobacy,…

         

        Many people in Tanzania, in Kenya, in other countries and  in other Italian cities would have liked to be with us but can not be physically present.

        We would like to try and be together in another way.

         

        For example we could read texts sent to us during the commemoration. This had already been done during the funeral  of Maria: we had read the message sent by William. Please tell this to any person who Maria Agnese knew and who may wish to contribute in this way.

         

        It would also be nice if you wish to organize to meet at the same time as us in Nairobi and in Dar es salam with other people who knew Maria Agnese and create a small event yourself.

         

        In addition or in alternative it would be possible for us to be connected through skype at a certain time, after 6.00 pm in Rome (8 pm in Tanzania or Kenya)

         

        Skype connection that could be used are noemi.bev and marika.ferrari

         

        Please send us the connection you would use.

         

        With warm regards

         

        Catherine and Noemi

         

         

        You may forward this mail to other people of course.




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