Six Rules for Criticizing Obama Over Social Security Cuts
- I wonder if someone might be able to write some Satire, to compliment this
reasonable well known list of rules.
Six Rules for Criticizing Obama Over Social Security Cuts
These are confusing times for liberals. Theyve just awoken from a
seven-week bender to discover that their number one sacred cow President
Obama wants to take a butchers knife to sacred cow # 2, Social
Security. Libs are feeling angry, betrayed, and sputtery. They want to
hold Obamas feet to the fire but arent sure how to do so in a way that
reassures Obama that they will always have his back.
Thankfully, liberals themselves have developed and relentlessly enforced
a number of rules about whether, when, and how its acceptable to
criticize Obama. Libs love rules almost as much as they love their rulers
so hopefully this will help them get through these troubling times.
1. It is not OK to criticize Obama for something he said he would do
before the election.
This rule was best articulated by uber-lib David Atkins, who took to the
Daily Kos in 2009 to excoriate the timing of those who dare criticized
Obamas plan to escalate the war in Afghanistan in a piece titled, Where
Were All You People During the Campaign?
I have watched with no small shortage of puzzlement as much of the
progressive blogosphere has taken the Obama Administration to task for
its plans to send additional troops to secure Afghanistan from the
threat posed by the resurgence of the Taliban. . . . (W)here was all
this sturm und drang from the progressive blogosphere over the need to
leave Afghanistan during the primary process, when all the major
candidates had made their positions perfectly clear? Where were the
screaming cries of agony during the campaign?
You get that? As liberals will always tell you, the time to for frank
criticism of their guy is during the campaign. And what was Obama saying
about Social Security then? Well, in the first debate with Romney, he
said, I suspect that on Social Security, we've got a somewhat similar
position. And as Matt Stoller documented back in July, cutting
entitlements was always a major part of Obamas agenda for his second
Bottom line: Obama told you he was going to cut Social Security its not
his fault if you were too busy monitoring GOP Twitter accounts to notice.
You missed your window for sturming and dranging, so STFU.
2. Obama is smarter and knows more than you do.
"I'd literally trust his judgment over my own. I think he's smarter than
me, better informed, better able to understand the consequences of his
actions, and more farsighted. I voted for him because I trust his
judgment, and I still do." Kevin Drum, Mother Jones
Why does Obama want to want to cut Social Security? We dont know but the
fact remains that we are not privy to everything that Obama knows and we
probably couldnt understand it if we were. Maybe Obama is banking on the
fact by the Post Office will be closed by the time the cuts take effect so
there wont be anyone to deliver benefit checks. Maybe he realizes that
shit will be so fucked up from climate collapse that no will live to see
sixty-five in the coming years.
Bottom line: Obama knows what hes doing so STFU.
3. Always consider the alternatives.
For those complaining about Obama, ask yourself this: Is there another
politician youd prefer to cut Social Security? Because we dont live in
some utopia where grandma gets to pay for food and heating oil. Your
choices were Obama cutting Social Security or Romney cutting Social
Security. And personally, Ill take Obama every time. At least Obama will
act humble and pained about fucking over seniors. Are you honestly
telling me youd prefer Romneys smirk?
Bottom line: Grow up and STFU.
4. Pause to smell Obamas greatness. And take gratuitous shots at Ralph
Last night, Chris Hayes took to Twitter to express his dismay that Obama
was considering cuts. When friendly Tweeters responded that they were
surprised that Hayes was surprised since Obama has clearly been gunning
for entitlements for some time, Hayes quickly dropped his Social Security
complaints and moved on to weightier matters:
Honest question for lefties who think Obama is horrible. Who do you
see as better, more progressive American presidents?
To which Dan Savage replied, Remember President Nader? He was so awesome.
(For readers unfamiliar with American history, there was no President
Nader! Savage is making a brilliant, biting joke designed to belittle
anyone unhappy with President Obama.)
Bottom line: Grow up and STFU. And Fuck Ralph Nader.
5. Remember Obamas heart is always in the right place. If you must
criticize him, do so only on tactics.
As liberals will endlessly tell you, if Obama has one flaw, its that he
sometimes thinks too much of people. He has, for instance, failed to
recognize that the Republicans are the party of Satan. He consistently
tries to bargain with the GOP and sometimes, because of his desire to
promote bipartisanship, Obama will sound and act exactly like the enemy.
This combination of GOP evil and Obama magnanimity occasionally leads to
people getting screwed. Badly. But we can all agree that thats not what
Obama really wants.
So while it would probably be best if you just STFU about Social Security,
please remember the following if you feel, out of some nagging sense of
principle or concern for humanity, that you must say something:
A. Anything bad Obama does is primarily the GOPs fault.
B. You can criticize Obama for caving. You cannot criticize Obama for
wanting to cut Social Security. (You might want to forget everything you
read in rule # 1.)
Bottom Line: Fuckin Republicans.
6. Keep your eye on the big picture.
It is tempting to lash out at Obama and the Democrats for slashing caving
on Social Security. But remember, Social Security is an incredibly popular
program and if voters start associating Democrats with benefit cuts,
thats not going to help come November, 2014. Imagine Obamas last two
years in office if we win back the House and hold onto the Senate in the
midterms. We could restore the Social Security cuts, ban guns, reverse
climate change, and maybe even bring those Pakistani kids back to life.
But thats not going to happen if you keep whining about grandma, is it?
Bottom line: We love you Obama. And if we ever doubted you, thats our
failing, not yours.