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[Fwd: [AmeriConscience] Republicans Reveal that Entire Presidential Race was a Prank]

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  • scotpeden@cruzio.com
    ... Subject: [AmeriConscience] Republicans Reveal that Entire Presidential Race was a Prank From: chris gambrell Date:
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 1, 2012
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      ---------------------------- Original Message ----------------------------
      Subject: [AmeriConscience] Republicans Reveal that Entire Presidential
      Race was a Prank
      From: "chris gambrell" <chrisgambrell8186@...>
      Date: Sat, 31 March, 2012 11:43 pm
      To: "americonscience" <AmeriConscience@yahoogroups.com>

      Republicans Reveal that Entire Presidential Race was a PrankApril Fool’s
      Day Announcement Brings Practical Joke to an End

      WASHINGTON (*The Borowitz Report <http://bit.ly/yGiUfZ>*) – In an April
      Fool’s Day announcement that took the political world by storm, the
      Republican Party revealed today that its entire presidential race had been
      an elaborate prank.

      “April Fool!” exclaimed former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and
      former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum at a press conference in
      Washington, where they were joined by fellow merrymakers Newt Gingrich,
      Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Herman Cain.

      Moments after revealing that the GOP primary had been one long practical
      joke, Mr. Santorum explained the rationale behind staging such a
      complicated and expensive prank.

      “A lot of Americans are suffering right now and need a good laugh,” he
      said. “I think my colleagues and I can be justifiably proud of the
      entertainment we provided – even if it meant me wearing these ridiculous
      sweater vests.”

      Former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain agreed that the prank had gone
      well, but added, “I’m just amazed that the American people never figured
      out we were kidding.”

      “I mean, I kept saying ‘9-9-9’ every four seconds, which was total and
      utter bullshit,” he said. “And everything out of Michele’s mouth made her
      sound like a mental patient.”

      “True that,” Rep. Bachmann agreed.

      Texas Governor Rick Perry said he worried that “every time I screwed up at
      a debate people would figure out I was pulling their legs,” but added, “The
      American people seemed to accept the idea that a Governor of Texas could be
      a blithering idiot.”

      When one reporter mentioned that Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) was not at the press
      conference, a sudden silence fell over the gathering.

      “Did anyone ever tell Ron this was supposed to be a prank?” Mr. Romney
      asked. “Holy cow, maybe he’s really serious.”

      *Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report


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