Entertainment News 09-02-10
- Please send as far and wide as possible.
Editor, The Konformist
Group Therapy for Those Who Have Marlboro Man Hallucinations
Posted by Lava Cocktail at 8/24/2010
Tags: Marlboro Ronald McDonald
(editor's note: This article appeared in The Wave-a Clear Channel publication on the west coast. I was surprised they ran it.)
Jaye Beldo of Lake Havasu, Nevada, has started a support group for people who suffer from what he calls Advertising Affliction Disorder. "One of the first full blown AAD experiences I had was when I was stuck in traffic and I saw the Marlboro Man jump out of a billboard and start rounding people up on the sidewalk and herding them into the terminal illness ward in a nearby hospital," explains Beldo. "I was on a radio show in Canada the other day and a caller said that she had a dream about having sex with Ronald McDonald and that it was great, so I'm not alone in this."
Beldo claims that the most frequent advertising icons to "visit" people with AAD are the Marlboro Man, Ronald McDonald, the Pillsbury Doughboy and Joe Camel. Common symptoms of AAD include the inability to appreciate art, music, literature and the inability to relate to others in a human way. Beldo claims that many AAD sufferers attempt to cure their depression, apathy and indifference through consumerism. "For me, the most annoying symptom is a growing inability to distinguish between advertising and politics. The other night I watched George W. Bush morph into the Tidy Bowl Man and back into himself again, over and over, until I just gave up trying to stop it."
Beldo believes many AAD sufferers start with hallucinations of just one corporate mascot,then gradually develop a larger repertoire of visitors. "I had nine advertising icons such as Palmolive Madge, Mr. Clean and Mr. Whipple make up the Supreme Court during one rather unpleasant evening when I was trying to get to sleep," said a sorrowful Beldo. "I forced myself out of that unpleasant vision, but realized that it wasn't really all that far from the truth considering that we have a bogus president in office now because of the Supreme Court's ruling on the so-called 2000 election."
"Most of the time, single icons haunt me, but they will interact with other icons or political figures such as the Pillsbury Doughboy sodomizing John Ashcroft with the Patriot Act, or maybe it was the other way around."
Beldo says that the psychiatric community at large has not embraced the perils of his condition, but he encourages those who suffer from this affliction to contact him at aadfree@... to share their stories and to organize group therapy sessions. "It wouldn't surprise me to see some drug available on the market next year to 'cure' it," Beldo speculates. "No doubt they'll have some kind of mascot to promote the AAD remedy - a pill with arms and legs like the California Raisins."
BabeWatch: Katy Perry
Burger King introduces the 2,500 Pizza Burger
Burger King, the fast food chain, is to introduce the 'Pizza Burger', a 2,520-calorie covered in mozzarella, pepperoni and pesto and marinara sauce.
23 Aug 2010
Burger King, the fast food chain, is to introduce the 'Pizza Burger? The NY Pizza Burger, due to debut next month at Burger King's new New York flagship Whopper Bar restaurant, is four times the size of the chain's Whopper, comes on a nine-and-a-half inch sesame bun, and is just over the 2,500 daily calorie allowance for men.
The Pizza Burger contains 144g of fat, 59g of which is saturated, 3,780mg of salt, which is more than double the daily limit for adults, and will cost $13, or £8.40.
Burger King have emphasised that the new offering is meant to be shared, but John Schaufelberger, Burger King's vice-president, said it "demonstrates the type of menu offerings our guests can expect."
The Pizza Burger is the latest in a line of calorific snacks to be introduced in the US. In May, a 2,000-calorie milkshake that is the equivalent of eating 68 rashers of bacon was named the worst drink in America.
The Cold Stone PB&C, containing 2,010 calories is made with chocolate ice cream, milk and peanut butter.
And in April, KFC introduced the 1,228 calorie Double Down, consisting of two chicken breast fillets acting as a bun, with a filling of bacon, two melted slices of cheese and mayonnaise.
Stoner Cooking: Cheese and Pepper Quesadillas
These cheese and pepper quesadilla appetizers are quick and easy, especially if you use bottled salsa. They're great for pot lucks and parties too. Add grilled chicken breast that has been cut into strips and you have a light lunch or dinner with a Mexican flair. You can also switch out the type of cheese if you like.
Nonstick spray coating
6 7- or 8-inch flour tortillas
1-1/2 cups shredded Colby Jack cheese (6 ounces)
3 tablespoons canned diced green chile peppers, drained
3 tablespoons chopped green onion
3 slices bacon, crisp-cooked, drained, and crumbled
1.Coat one side of each tortilla with cooking spray. Place, sprayed sides down, on a cutting board or waxed paper. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of the cheese over half of each tortilla. Top with chile peppers, green onion, and bacon. Fold tortillas in half, pressing gently.
2.Heat a 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat for 1 minute. Cook quesadillas, 2 at a time, over medium heat for 4 to 6 minutes or until light brown, turning once. Remove quesadillas from skillet; place on a baking sheet. Keep warm in a 300 degree F oven. Repeat with remaining quesadillas. To serve, cut each quesadilla into 3 wedges. If desired, serve with salsa.
3.Makes 9 appetizer servings (2 wedges per serving)
4.Manchengo and Mushroom Quesadillas: Prepare as above, except substitute 6 ounces manchego cheese, shredded, for the Colby Jack cheese. Omit the chile peppers and bacon. In a medium skillet heat 1 tablespoon butter over medium heat. Add 6 ounces sliced button mushrooms (about 2 1/4 cups). Cook about 10 minutes or until mushrooms are tender and liquid is evaporated, stirring occasionally. Stir in 1/2 cup chopped cooked ham or Canadian-style bacon, 1/4 cup finely chopped red sweet pepper, the 3 tablespoons green onion, 2 tablespoons snipped fresh cilantro, and 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper. To assemble, sprinkle 1/4 cup of the manchego cheese over half of each tortilla. Top with mushroom mixture. Fold tortillas in half, pressing gently. Cook quesadillas as directed above in step 2. NA same as above
5.Olive and Walnut Quesadillas: Prepare as above, except substitute 4 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese and 2 ounces shredded Parmesan cheese for the Colby Jack cheese. Omit chile peppers, green onion, and bacon. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of the cheese over half of each tortilla. In a small bowl combine 1/4 cup chopped pitted ripe olives; 3 tablespoons toasted walnuts; and 2 tablespoons snipped fresh oregano or 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, crushed. Sprinkle over cheese. Continue as directed. Per serving: 122 cal., 6 g total fat (2 g sat. fat), 8 mg chol., 257 mg sodium, 11 g carbo., 1 g dietary fiber, 6 g protein. Daily Values: 2% vit. A, 1% vit. C, 16% calcium, 5% iron. Exchanges: 1/2 Starch, 1 Medium-Fat Meat
Goodell, owners support 18-game season; players concerned
Aug. 25, 2010
ATLANTA -- NFL owners are eager to increase the regular season from 16 to 18 games.
The players aren't so sure.
During a five-hour meeting at a posh hotel in downtown Atlanta, the push to add two more games to the regular season picked up steam Wednesday -- at least among those who sign the checks.
"I think it's a win-win all around," said Bob Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots.
The NFL could adopt an 18-game schedule as soon as 2012, and players might not start workouts until May instead of March to allow more recovery time, Jason La Canfora writes. More ... The owners also unanimously approved Stan Kroenke's proposal to purchase majority ownership of the St. Louis Rams, assuming he turns over control of two other teams he owns -- the NBA's Denver Nuggets and the NHL's Colorado Avalanche -- to his son.
Kroenke owns 40 percent of the downtrodden Rams and exercised his right to purchase the rest of the team from the Rosenbloom family for a reported $750 million.
"Obviously, all of us know and respect Stan," NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said. "He's been a terrific owner in the NFL, and we're confident he will continue to be a great owner."
Kroenke must turn over operational and financial control of the Nuggets and Avalanche to his 30-year-old son, Josh, by the end of the year. He must give up his majority stake in the teams by December 2014 to meet NFL rules against cross-ownership of franchises in other NFL cities.
But talks on the expanded season dominated most of the meeting.
Goodell pointed out that the league already has the right to impose an 18-game schedule -- and keep four preseason games for each team -- under the current labor agreement with the players. But that contract expires after this season, and it's clear the expanded schedule will be a central issue in talks on a new collective bargaining agreement.
The owners would like to keep the season at 20 weeks, reducing the number of preseason games from four to two.
"We want to do it the right way for everyone, including the players, the fans and the game in general," Goodell said. "There's a tremendous amount of momentum for it. We think it's the right step."
The owners held off on voting on a specific proposal that could be presented to the NFL Players Association. Among the issues that still must be resolved: when to start the expanded regular season, possible roster expansion to cope with more games, and changes in training camp and offseason routines to come up with ways for evaluating younger players who wouldn't have as many preseason games to make an impression.
"We want to continue to address a variety of issues before putting together a specific proposal, which our negotiating team will provide to the union's negotiating team," Goodell said. "There's tremendous support for it. Almost all the questions, all the discussions, are how to do it in a way that's fan friendly."
Around the NFL, however, many players questioned the wisdom of making an already grueling season even longer. At the very least, they want more money -- and several proposed changes in the rules governing injured players, or adding an extra bye week to deal with the grind.
"With 16 games, every game is important and therefore the fans are very into it, the stadiums are packed because they know if their team loses, it pushes them further and further away from making the playoffs," Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer said. "I think if you go to 18, each game kind of loses a little bit of its significance."
The players clearly expect to be receive a bigger chunk of the multi-billion-dollar NFL pie if they're going to be putting their bodies on the line in two more games that count.
"Obviously the players want to be compensated for two more games," San Francisco 49ers linebacker Matt Wilhelm said. "That's the one thing the players have to get met."
They also are concerned about an increased risk of injuries and fret that it could shorten their careers or increase the number of health problems they endure after retirement.
"I would vote to eliminate two preseason games and then keep it at a 16-game season because the longer you're out there playing, the more your body breaks down," Chicago Bears tight end Desmond Clark said. "When you get into December, you're like walking zombies. You can't feel your joints."
Cleveland Browns linebacker Scott Fujita said the timing of the proposal is odd, considering the owners want the players to accept a smaller share of the revenue in the next labor agreement.
"They are asking you to play more games and put yourself at more risk, and they are also asking us to take a pay cut," Fujita said. "That's a lot to ask. All those things don't make a whole lot of sense. We need to sit down and talk through it all and find out what it is they're really trying to do and see if it makes sense or not."
But Kraft said the expanded season is the most obvious step to bring in more money while the economy is struggling.
"I really think going to an 18-game season is critical to us getting a labor deal," he said. "There's not a lot of ways in this economic environment we can generate incremental revenues. That's the best way.
"The other thing," he added, "our fans have said pretty loud and clear they'd like us to have fewer preseason games."
Several players and coaches have pointed out that having just two preseason games likely would make it more difficult for fringe players to get enough of a look to make the team.
Watching football on Sundays will be a whole new experience with NFL Network's new channel, NFL RedZone. Find out why.
Already, teams have been experimenting with joint workouts in training camp, believing those sessions could help replace the shorter preseason. This year, for instance, the Atlanta Falcons worked out with both the Patriots and Jacksonville Jaguars.
"If it was a two-game preseason, then the starters are going to see most of that time because they've got to get ready for the season, so if you're third string, good luck," said Indianapolis Colts linebacker Gary Brackett, the team's defensive captain. "When I was a rookie, I needed every bit of those four games."
But some figure it's a foregone conclusion that the owners will get their way.
"Personally, I don't see how it helps the game, or the quality of the game," said Barry Cofield, a defensive tackle for the New York Giants. "But if they demand it, they will probably get it."
September 2010 ATLANTIC MAGAZINE
Flogging Genghis Khan
Mongolia revives its strongman. Will the hordes follow?
When he went marauding about the known world some 800 years ago, Genghis Khan almost certainly never slept on a bed scattered with rose petals. He was a hard guy. So it seems fitting that the journey east from Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia's capital, toward a 131-foot stainless-steel statue of the infamous Mongol warlord is a stark experience. The roadside is barren of trees and unpeopled, and brown rubbly mountains stretch into the distance. When you travel the 35-mile route on a bicycle, as I did recently, the headwinds can be cruel.
Still, I pedaled on, for Genghis Khan is Mongolia's future. After his conquests were downplayed in the history books during seven decades of de facto Soviet rule, the nomad who ruled an empire stretching from the Caspian Sea to Siberia reemerged in 1990, as democracy was being established. Today, he is a poor nation's avatar of hopeand he's becoming a major industry.
In Ulaanbaatar, you can drink Chinggis beer at the Grand Khaan Irish Pub. (For obscure reasons, the local spelling differs from the Western.) The Genco Tour Bureau, an Ulaanbaatar-based company, has spent about $7 million on the Chinggis Khaan Statue Complex, a commercially minded homage where the giant steel Chinggis will soon be flanked by an artificial pond, a skating rink, and 200 small gers, or round tents, for paying campers. Nearby, Genco has also built a 13th-century living history museum, sort of a Colonial Williamsburg on the steppes, where artisans make felt by beating wool with wood sticks. And at the Chinggis Khaan Golf Country Club, the greens are tiny, bright patches of artificial turf on the infinite brown.
With a poignant hopefulness, Mongolia, population 2.7 million, is trying to establish a market economy in the deep shadow of neighboring China. One morning when I was looking for a pastry in Ulaanbaatar, I strolled into a grocery store and found all the bakery workers watching me with quiet, expectant pride. "You are our first clee-ent," the manager told me, explaining that it was opening day. "We are so honored." Down the street, Louis Vuitton opened its first Mongolian outlet last year, and Hugo Boss likewise set up a shop for the Mongolian elite who have grown rich mining gold. I stood beneath an ad for a Mongolian department store I am all new, read the slogan, next to a picture of a beautiful womanand then the wind kicked up, uprooting a small road sign that came catapulting toward my head, pole and all.
Mongolia doesn't quite have the modernity thing down yet. It remains a poor country where the electricity is constantly flickering, even in the capital, and it's so dependent on ranching and sheepherding that last winter's dzud, or unusually heavy snow, was still wreaking havoc on the economy when I visited in May. The tourist map I bought depicted what I swear were phantom roads. When I tried to follow one, I ended up in a cow pasture, being chased through a snowstorm by barking dogs.
On my way to the statue, I got lost. No road signs pointed there yet, and the only pedestrian I found outside Ulaanbaatar was an old man gathering horse dung for heating fuel. He could not help me. Finally, I found a gas station, built in 2009, where the attendants wore matching red-and-blue uniforms and sat inside a glass-and-steel booth.
"Chinggis?" I said.
"Ah!" They smiled and pointed.
A few miles later, I came upon a truck driver, who'd pulled over to pee. "Chinggis?" I said.
When he pointed, I saw ita glimmer of silver down the hill. Genghis Khan sits astride a stallion, grimacing as he clutches a gold-tinted stainless-steel whip. The statue's pedestal is a columned, white-granite rotunda, and everything inside the rotunda is calibrated to impress and make money. There's a collection of Bronze Age artifacts, a screening room wherein a stentorian video (with English subtitles) heaps praise on the Mongolian construction industry, and a luxurious conference room and restaurant, both empty when I visited. The landscaping is brutal: not a tree or bush in sight. The black iron fence surrounding the complex goes on for more than a mile. Cumulatively, the place shouted, "Watch out, folks Mongolia is back on its horse!" But I detected an undertone of desperation too. A more plaintive voice seemed to whisper, "Believe in us, please. We're trying very hard."
I snickered for a moment, but then, riding home, I felt guilty for laughing. I remembered a kid I had met earlier, while lost on a back road, named Ertene Bulgan. He was a shepherd, with a shaved head and a stud earring, and he invited me into his grandparents' ger. Later, he drew a map of his world into the dirt with a stick. "Home," he said, pointing. Then he drew a little rectangle. "School." Then, with a solemn nod, he said, "Chinggis." And he drew a long road, hooking into the distance, toward a steel marvel he hoped to visit one day.
Give us a Kiss! Gaga poses up with the rock legends (as she becomes most popular 'Tweeter' in the world)
21st August 2010
Lady Gaga has posted a Twitter photo of herself with Kiss, sparking rumours that she could be recording a song with the rock group.
The 24-year-old singer, who is currently working on new music in the studio, struck a provocative pose as she draped herself over the band.
Wearing nothing but a pair of pants and strapless black top, Gaga appears to be getting very friendly with the make-up clad musicians.
'KISS the Queen,' she wrote - a reference to both the rockers and the fact she now has more Twitter followers than anyone else in the world.
Kiss frontman Gene Simmons has openly admitted to being a Gaga fan, describing her as the 'female version' of the band.
'I love the vibe, the big mouth and the big visuals," he has said.
'She's the most exciting thing to happen since us. She's a female version of us.'
Simmons, 60, has even claimed that Gaga's off-the-wall fashion sense and theatrical style could have been inspired by Kiss and credits her success to her ability to connect with her fans.
'One of the first things we learned was to treat the audience as the guv'nor,' he said.
'When they buy a ticket they become your boss. We just work here. She realizes that her fans deserve the best you got because they pay your wages."'
Meanwhile it appears Lady Gaga is so devoted to bringing music to her fans that she even sleeps in the studio!
Well, that's the impression she gave yesterday with her post on Twitter, messaging her fans, who she calls her 'little monsters.'
'Haven't left the studio,' she tweeted. 'Each song I write, I feel closer to you. Miss you little monsters, little inspirations. X '
The post was accompanied by a photograph of the pop diva seemingly in her bed, despite the fact she appeared to be wearing a full face of makeup.
And it seems that Gaga's devotion to her fans has paid off. She has now topped Britney Spears for most followers on Twitter.
Studio bound: Gaga is currently recording new material
Gaga, real name Stefani Germanotta, has the most followers on the social networking site.
Ashton Kutcher was at first the king of Twitter until the pop princess Britney overtook him.
And now the Bad Romance singer has taken the crown with 5,666,523 followers to Britney's 5,666,515.
When Gaga reached the 5 million milestone in July, she tweeted: 'Here's to monsters, music, and 5 million of my closest friends! Cheers! I officially declare this institution 'Tweeterland!'"