MATT DRUDGE IS GAY FOR TOM BRADY!!!
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Editor, The Konformist
XXXXX KONFORMIST REPORT XXXXX SUN FEB 03 20088 XXXXX
EXCLUSIVE FROM THE KONFORMIST!!!
MUST CREDIT ROBERT STERLING & THE KONFORMIST!!!
MATT DRUDGE IS GAY FOR TOM BRADY!!!
If there were any questions before this season started if Tom Brady
was truly a great quarterback or merely a good one on a great team,
he pretty much silenced them. Finally given weapons at receiver
(most notably Randy Moss, the best receiver in football over the
past decade) that Peyton Manning long has had as his personal
luxury, he had what would have to be the best season in NFL history
by any quarterback, throwing for a record 50 touchdowns vs. only
eight interceptions, leading the Patriots to an unprecedented 16-0
regular season. (The undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins only played a
14-game regular season.) He followed that up by completing 26 of 28
passes (a NFL record 92.9% completion percentage for a game) with 3
TDs in the AFC semifinals. And though he threw 3 interceptions in
the AFC Championship game, he is the heavy favorite to win his 4th
Super Bowl today against the New York Giants, which would tie him
with Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana (AKA "The Greatest Quarterback
of All-Time") for most Super Bowl wins ever by a QB. And its only
his eighth season.
Okay, so I give Mr. Brady the deserved respect he's earned this
season and his career, whether he wins today or not. One thing that
has long puzzled me, though, is why Terrific Tom has long been so
heavily featured on The Drudge Report. Granted, Brady is an
incredible QB, and this has been an amazing season for both him and
the Patriots. Still, even before this year, Brady has been heavily
featured on the Drudge Report. This is odd because, well, Mr.
Drudge has never seemed to be a sports-loving kind of guy. Indeed,
aside from right-wing politics and White House blowjobs, the
subjects that Drudge long has fixated on are Barbara Streisand,
Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell, not to mention dishing out other
Hollywood celebrity gossip.
Some would argue its politics: many of Drudge breathless posts about
Brady have mentioned the possibility that he is privately a
Republican. The problem with this explanation is, even if it is
true, that would hardly make him unique. NFL quarterbacks are, for
the most part, rich white jocks, a group of people that certainly
lean to the right. Meanwhile, look at some of the names of great
quarterbacks over the Drudge era: John Elway, Brett Favre, Kurt
Warner (who certainly is an open right-wing poster boy) and Peyton
Manning. None have received anywhere the amount of coverage on
Drudge that Brady has, even before this season.
On closer examination, the Drudge posts on Brady being a closet
Republican seem to be some sort of wish fulfillment. They resemble
in style what a post by me would look like if I reported rumors that
Jessica Alba has a weakness for underpaid conspiracy theorists in
their late thirties. (Though Cash "The Luckiest Man on the Planet"
Warren doesn't quite fit the bill.)
Which leads to another explanation: a decade ago, The Konformist
became the first place to report the rampant West Hollywood rumors
that Matt Drudge was gay. (The article was cleverly titled "Matt
Drudge Is a Homo!!!" Boy, am I clever or what?) The rumors, though
still not admitted as true by Drudge to pacify his reactionary
audience, have since been confirmed by multiple sources, most
notably David Brock in his book Blinded by the Right. That said,
isn't the best explanation for the Drudge obsession with Brady
nothing more than a homosexual celebrity crush?
Can Matt Drudge be blamed for being unable to resist the charms that
have swept Gisele Bundchen off her feet? No, of course not. So our
advice to Drudge: come out of the closet and interview Tommy in a
wedding gown. After all, he's still looking for a permanent Mrs.