Konformist: Beast of the Year 1999: Jerry Springer
- Please send as far and wide as possible.
Editor, The Konformist
Beast of the Year 1999*
Jerry Springer, Trash TV Talk Show Host
The votes are in, and The Konformist readers have spoken. Jerry Springer is
your overwhelming choice for the 1999 Konformist Beast of the Year - a choice
that is well deserved.
Jerry Springer may not be the world's most evil man, but he is certainly one
of the most shameless opportunists and exploiters of evil going. You want
greed, hate, and treachery served to you, all with the self-satisfaction of
watching people inferior to you? The Jerry Springer Show is the ticket. This
award is not so much for what Jerry Springer is, but what he represents. The
stories that have captured the attention of the American public seem to have
a Springer-esque spin to them, whether they be a "love" affair that nearly
destroys a deserving to be destroyed president to the mass shootings at
Littleton, Colorado. "I'M HAVING SEX WITH THE PRESIDENT!" "ANGRY GOTH ROCKERS
WITH WEAPONS!" It really is no wonder why our society is as screwed up as it
is, and it should be no surprise - considering that the most popular TV talk
show has its format designed to encourage violent confrontation - that the
violence ultimately spills out like it does. That the mentality that The
Jerry Springer Show caters to is so popular is a sad indictment of American
The Jerry Springer Show may be the current low point in trash pop culture,
but the saddest thing is this is ultimately only a temporary title: soon
enough, the next generation of trash talk show hosts will replace him, just
as he has taken the mantle from the likes of Geraldo, Jenny Jones and Ricki
Lake. In 1994, Platoon and JFK film-director Oliver Stone released Natural
Born Killers, a film which savagely exposed modern America's sick appetite
for destruction (and, unsurprisingly, was attacked by small-minded people for
supposedly celebrating those urges.) Five years later, Stone's warning seems
as urgent as ever. When a culture celebrates senseless violence, banality and
shocking sensationalism, it is only a matter of time before people start
following the model. Some people consider Littleton a wakeup call: a better
description of the massacre would be a preview of things to come.
Reverend Fred Phelps
In the unlikely event that Mr. Springer can no longer fill his duties as
Beast of the Year (such as doing something shockingly decent), Reverend Fred
Phelps is ready to take over the crown. Rest assured the BOTY trophy is in
good hands either way, as his mixture of hatred and Christianity is a brew
that too many readers found irresistible.
If, on the unlikely event that both Mr. Springer and Reverend Phelps can't
perform their Beastly duties, we always have William Cohen to fall back on.
As the bombs continue to fall on Kosovo, Cohen, the Secretary of Defense,
seems as safe of a bet as anyone to continue on the path of Beastly deeds.
In any case, we salute you, Jerry, Freddie, and Billy. Congratulations, and
keep up the great work!!!
* Note: What about Peckergate?
There are Beasts, and then there are MEGABEASTS. Peckergate is a MEGABEAST
that has throbbed off the Beastly scale all year, outraging and shocking
people like no event.
Why, then, was it not one of the eight finalists for Beast of the Year?
To begin with, to recognize the Beastliness of Peckergate is to announce that
Cindy Crawford is attractive, or that Donald Trump has an ego. It is
Further, though Peckergate is indeed detested, where do you focus the
Beastliness at? Kommander Klinton? Hillary? Ken Starr? Linda Tripp? The list
goes on and on: even BOTM winners Richard Mellon Scaife and Henry Hyde are
too much part of the Peckergate Octopussy to be recognized individually.
In the end though, there is a far greater reason why Peckergate is not Beast
of the Year for 1999: with charges of rape swirling against Bill Klinton, it
seems as though this story has only begun.
If you are interested in a free subscription to The Konformist Newswire,
please visit http://www.eGroups.com/list/konformist/ and sign up. Or, e-mail
firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject: "I NEED 2 KONFORM!!!"
(Okay, you can use something else, but it's a kool catch phrase.)
Visit the Klub Konformist at Yahoo!:
eGroup home: http://www.eGroups.com/group/konformist
http://www.eGroups.com - Simplifying group communications