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Sensible Health Advice

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  • karin267@blclinks.net
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 1, 2001
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      >
      > SENSIBLE HEALTH ADVICE
      > Finally.....sensible health advice I can live with!
      >
      > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
      > true?
      > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.
      > Everything
      > wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live
      > longer;
      > that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it
      > faster.
      > Want to live longer? Take a nap.
      >
      > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
      > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
      > corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
      > efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
      > Eat
      > chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
      > vegetable).
      > And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
      > vegetable slop.
      >
      > Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
      > A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we
      > all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three
      > categories
      > animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not
      > animal,
      > and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves
      > one thing,
      > right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid
      > vegetables.
      >
      > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
      > A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
      > one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
      > Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench
      > press. What did he mean?
      > A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up
      > your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you
      > find
      > that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought
      > to
      > reevaluate your exercise program.
      >
      > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
      > exercise
      > program?
      > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.
      >
      > Q: To nutrasweet or not to nutrasweet?
      > A: Vote for the Diet Coke, anything that cleans pennies and makes them
      > like new cannot be good for the body.
      >
      > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
      > A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
      > fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
      > for
      > you?
      >
      > Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
      > A: Thicker gravy.
      >
      > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
      > middle?
      > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
      > should
      > only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. I hope this
      > has
      > cleared up any misconceptions you may have had. Be good to yourself.
      > You're worth it!
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
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