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Worst job experience contest

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  • Karen B
    ... Divers in ... offshore drilling ... then sent it to ... Indiana, who was ... to say, her ... brother. Last week I ... feeling down lately ... you to make
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 2, 2003
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      >> Subject: FW: Worst job experience contest
      >> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
      Divers in
      >>Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
      offshore drilling
      >>rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She
      then sent it to
      >>radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,
      Indiana, who was
      >>sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless
      to say, her
      >>submission won.
      >>
      >> Hi Sue,
      >>
      >> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
      brother. Last week I
      >>had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
      feeling down lately
      >>at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with
      you to make you
      >>realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell
      you what
      >>happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
      technicalities of
      >>my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of
      the sea. I
      >>wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time
      of year the
      >>water is quite cool.
      >>
      >> So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
      diesel powered
      >>industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
      equipment sucks the
      >>water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
      temperature. It
      >>then pumps it down to the diver through a garden
      hose, which is
      >>taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
      good plan, and
      >>I've used it several times with no complaints. What
      I do, when I
      >>get to the bottom and start working, is take the
      hose and stuff it
      >>down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
      suit with warm
      >>water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
      >>
      >> Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
      my butt started
      >>to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
      made things
      >>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
      I pulled the
      >>hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In
      agony I realized
      >>what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked
      up a jellyfish
      >>and pumped it into my suit.
      >>
      >> Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
      jellyfish
      >>couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt
      was not as
      >>fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an
      itch, I was
      >>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
      butt. I
      >>informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
      communicator.
      >>His instructions were unclear due to the fact that
      he, along with
      >>five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
      >>
      >> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
      instructed to make three
      >>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
      thirty-five minutes
      >>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber
      dry
      >>decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
      wearing nothing
      >>but my brass helmet........As I climbed out of the
      water, the
      >>medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
      handed me a
      >>tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
      soon as I got in
      >>the chamber.
      >>
      >> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop
      for two days
      >>because my butt was swollen shut.
      >>
      >> So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
      think about how
      >>much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved
      up your butt.
      >>
      >> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my
      job, I love my job".


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