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Welcome to Saskatchewan

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  • Cheryl Young
    Subject: Welcome to Saskatchewan Issued by the Saskatchewan Tourism Bureau to all visiting citizens of the U.S., other Provinces, Territories and Holdings. In
    Message 1 of 4 , Apr 1 12:11 AM
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      Subject:  Welcome to Saskatchewan

      Issued by the Saskatchewan Tourism Bureau to all visiting
      citizens of the U.S., other Provinces, Territories and Holdings.
      In order for your visit to our province to be pleasant, safe
      and uneventful, (yes, we like it that way) please read and adhere to the
      following guidelines:
      1) Do not order filet mignon or pasta primavera at a small town
      cafe. It's a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day.
      Let them cook something they know. If you upset the ladies in
      the kitchen they'll kick your ass.
      2) Don't laugh at the names of our little towns (Climax, Love, Biggar, Prince Albert or Pilot Butte) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.
      3) Don't order a bottle or can of soda. Here it is called Pop. Accept
      it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
      4)We know our heritage, we are literate, educated and generally a
      lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hicks or we'll kick your ass.
      5)Don't laugh at the Moose Jaw, Moose. Anything that inspires
      tourists to buy 50,000 postcards can't be bad. When you're in Moose Jaw
      don't point at the huge genitalia on the giant moose or we'll kick your ass.
      6)We are fully aware of how cold it gets here in the winter, so shut the
      hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here or we'll kick
      your ass.
      7)Don't order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone will
      instantly know that you're a tourist. Eat your steak well-done like God
      intended and have some potatoes with that, for cripe's sake!
      Also, don't ask what a prairie oyster is or we'll kick your ass.
      8)Don't try to fake a Saskatchewan accent. We don't have an
      accent. Do NOT mention Grant Devine, Brian Mulroney
      or Jean Chretien, as that will incite a riot and you will get
      your ass kicked by a mob.
      9)Don't talk about how much better things are at home because
      we know better. Many of us have visited big-city hell-holes like
      Detroit, NewYork, Vancouver, Toronto, and LA, and we have the scars
      to prove it. If you don't like it here, Air Canada flies out of the
      province, twice a day. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.
      10)Yes, we know that ice fishing is "not your thing." We don't care. If you
      don't understand the beauty of being out on a lake when it's minus15
      degrees then you should go home and try fishing in New York Harbor.
      Also, don't hog the heater in the fish house or we'll kick your ass.
      11)Don't complain that most of Saskatchewan is flat and that
      there aren't enough trees. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty we'll kick
      your ass all the way back to gorgeous Cleveland..
      12)Don't ridicule our mannerisms. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our
      sweet, little grey-haired grandmothers or they will kick some manners
      into your ass just like they did ours.
      13)So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live on the
      prairie? That's because we have enough sense to not live in
      filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or LA.
      Make fun of our fresh air and we'll kick your ass.
      14)Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come out here and tell us how the
      prairie should "go back to the buffalo." This will get your ass shot (right
      after it is kicked).
      For further information about Saskatchewan vacations,please email
      asskick@... or visit http://www.asskickifyouneedone.com


      MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE*
    • yearight
      hehehe..to bad you cant kick ass where its needed Cheryl Young wrote: Subject: Welcome to Saskatchewan Issued by the Saskatchewan
      Message 2 of 4 , Apr 1 9:05 AM
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        hehehe..to bad you cant kick ass where its needed

         Cheryl Young <caboo44@...> wrote:


        Subject:  Welcome to Saskatchewan

        Issued by the Saskatchewan Tourism Bureau to all visiting
        citizens of the U.S., other Provinces, Territories and Holdings.
        In order for your visit to our province to be pleasant, safe
        and uneventful, (yes, we like it that way) please read and adhere to the
        following guidelines:
        1) Do not order filet mignon or pasta primavera at a small town
        cafe. It's a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day.
        Let them cook something they know. If you upset the ladies in
        the kitchen they'll kick your ass.
        2) Don't laugh at the names of our little towns (Climax, Love, Biggar, Prince Albert or Pilot Butte) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.
        3) Don't order a bottle or can of soda. Here it is called Pop. Accept
        it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
        4)We know our heritage, we are literate, educated and generally a
        lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hicks or we'll kick your ass.
        5)Don't laugh at the Moose Jaw, Moose. Anything that inspires
        tourists to buy 50,000 postcards can't be bad. When you're in Moose Jaw
        don't point at the huge genitalia on the giant moose or we'll kick your ass.
        6)We are fully aware of how cold it gets here in the winter, so shut the
        hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here or we'll kick
        your ass.
        7)Don't order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone will
        instantly know that you're a tourist. Eat your steak well-done like God
        intended and have some potatoes with that, for cripe's sake!
        Also, don't ask what a prairie oyster is or we'll kick your ass.
        8)Don't try to fake a Saskatchewan accent. We don't have an
        accent. Do NOT mention Grant Devine, Brian Mulroney
        or Jean Chretien, as that will incite a riot and you will get
        your ass kicked by a mob.
        9)Don't talk about how much better things are at home because
        we know better. Many of us have visited big-city hell-holes like
        Detroit, NewYork, Vancouver, Toronto, and LA, and we have the scars
        to prove it. If you don't like it here, Air Canada flies out of the
        province, twice a day. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.
        10)Yes, we know that ice fishing is "not your thing." We don't care. If you
        don't understand the beauty of being out on a lake when it's minus15
        degrees then you should go home and try fishing in New York Harbor.
        Also, don't hog the heater in the fish house or we'll kick your ass.
        11)Don't complain that most of Saskatchewan is flat and that
        there aren't enough trees. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty we'll kick
        your ass all the way back to gorgeous Cleveland..
        12)Don't ridicule our mannerisms. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our
        sweet, little grey-haired grandmothers or they will kick some manners
        into your ass just like they did ours.
        13)So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live on the
        prairie? That's because we have enough sense to not live in
        filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or LA.
        Make fun of our fresh air and we'll kick your ass.
        14)Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come out here and tell us how the
        prairie should "go back to the buffalo." This will get your ass shot (right
        after it is kicked).
        For further information about Saskatchewan vacations,please email
        asskick@... or visit http://www.asskickifyouneedone.com


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      • iizthatiiz
        Luv d the post !!! Did you write that yourself? I figure with just the three of you up there, the odds were fairly good its your handiwork. Informative too!
        Message 3 of 4 , Apr 1 10:31 PM
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          Luv'd the post !!!

          Did you write that yourself? I figure with just the three of you
          up there, the odds were fairly good its your handiwork.
          Informative too! I was unaware that tourists could actually
          visit. Are there roads your way, or do we need to parachute in?
          BTW, your asskick server is down, and my e-mail got returned.
          Will the power be back on by summer?

          All in fun ..... please don't kill me

          Yank ;)
        • Cheryl Young
          LOL YD C mere ..... so I can kick your a$$ ..... then, I will take you to Moose Jaw to Al Capone s tunnels and get you get lost in them You better parachute in
          Message 4 of 4 , Apr 2 4:26 AM
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            LOL   YD

            C'mere ..... so I can kick your a$$ ..... then, I will take you to Moose Jaw to Al Capone's tunnels and get you get lost in them 

            You better parachute in .... the planes don't land here much .... we watch them fly over .... and if you drive .... you should watch out for the potholes or you will get lost in one of those before I can take you to Moose Jaw

            ^CC^  : )
             



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