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93988When your confidence starts to shake....

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  • Pearl - Karmayog
    Jan 8, 2014

      URL: changeyourideas.com/2012/02/when-your-confidence-starts-to-shake/

      Author of the Blog: Murli M Lohia

      Email: murlilohia@...


      When your confidence starts to shake..……


      Often you may find your confidence level going down or shaking. This can dent your efficiency and effectiveness, comfort and composure. If you can find the reasons, it is then possible for you to address. You would discover that some of these could be very trivial and some are terrible!


      Look at what can tamper your confidence:


      1. Conflict of thoughts


      Is my belief right or wrong?

      Will it work or will it not?

      Shall I do or shall I drop?

      What is it, if I go wrong?

      Standing at cross roads; unable to decide which direction to go.

      Though you believe in decisions; but you become indecisive!


      2. Conflict of interests


      Your stakes are high; but you suspect setback!

      Your image is high; but you worry for it getting impaired.

      People have high expectations from you; but you fear failure.

      3. Conflict of actions

      Gap in what you believe and what you do.

      Using duel yard sticks – one for self and another for others.

      You initiate action; but lack conviction in pursuing.

      Attempts to gain at the cost of others.

      4. Overly Concerned

      What would others think of you?

      Getting nervous with size of audience or position of person/s, with whom you need to communicate.

      Fear of unknown.

      Desire to please all, though not possible.

      Envy those, whom you perceive as better performers, rather than learning from them.

      5. Contradictory results

      Putting-in what you think as your best efforts; but success eludes you.

      Driving for a change; but you are driven to wall.

      People take your sincerity and sanctity as granted and they do not hesitate to manipulate.

      You discover your trusted or dear ones digging under your feet.

      6.     Facing Crisis


      Setback to your image, status or career.

      Your actions triggering a controversy or raking up an issue.

      Your beliefs prove to be wrong or exaggerated, arousing your reaction or ego.

      Fingers being raised on your character or your credibility being doubted.

      Your health is not helping.

      7.     Getting Criticism


      Dressing-down by your boss or spouse.

      You are put down by your peers.

      Not being recognized for what you perceive as good work.

      When others feel hurt by your doings.

      So, what you need to do?


      Just 2 things –


      A. Be aware of (1) to (4) and abandon or reject these outright!


      Heaven would not fall on earth, if you still go wrong. But, if you don’t do that, chances of heaven falling down would only improve. After all, you need not be right every time and “wrong would only make you right”. So, get it going; do not hold.


      B. Evaluate (5) to (7); somewhere you would be wrong and elsewhere you may be right. Hold the Right and correct the Wrong!


      Here is the key to real confidence:


      Sticking to own beliefs and views, regardless these are right or wrong, is over- confidence. It would kill you one day.


      Under-confidence is an ailment, which would trouble you every day.


      Having own beliefs and views, with room for change and correction whenever necessary, is the only Real Confidence! It would be difficult to get shaken!!