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Re: Is the growing indiscipline in our country bothering you?

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  • Thiagarajan
    Posted by: karmayog Rajiv Bhole rajiv.behappy@gmail.com wrote: Dear Vinay, Thanks for asking this important question. And i have been pondering over this
    Message 1 of 5 , Jan 4, 2013
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      Posted by: "karmayog"

      Rajiv Bhole rajiv.behappy@...> wrote:

      Dear Vinay,

      Thanks for asking this important question. And i have been pondering over this question for a long time now. Below is an article on the way to control passion using Maslow's needs gratification technique, which teenagers and grownups will find more useful. With this technique, I've helped many addicts. I'd like to conduct workshops and teach others this technique and need some support to take this technique to the people.

      Rajiv Bhole
      Be Happy Foundation
      Phone: 9323715166 / 26040746

      Be Happy Foundation
      20 Bhole Apts., 17th Road, Khar, Mumbai 400052
      Ph.: 26040746; 9323715166; www.karmayog.org/ngo/behappy
      Regd.: F-28631 of 2005
      Controlling Anger and Violence

      Incidents of mania and rage are on the increase, leading to a lot of violence and sex violence nowadays. Anxiety, depression and suicides amongst our people are also steadily increasing. Although all these problems are mood or behavioral problems, most people have now started believing that they are all mental health problems. But actually, they are merely problems caused by our inability to control our passions.

      Rational and cognitive techniques for educating people – and also in therapy – are often ineffective because, our reasoning is completely in thrall to passion. When our passions or emotions – anger and fear – get enraged, the clarity of our thinking suffers, and we tend to make mistakes and commit blunders. All the violence, sexual violence and crime that we are seeing around us today can, directly or indirectly, be attributed to our inability to control our passions. Anger and violence, including sexual violence, can diminish only when people are taught the way to control their passions and emotions.

      Maslow's 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation, which is being used quite successfully by management and human resource trainers to improve behavior of their workforce, has given us the way for controlling one's passions and realizing one's own potential – self-actualization, or self-fulfillment. Passions are strong emotions that compel us to act. Passions arise in us to motivate and instigate us to satisfy our needs – the physiological needs and the psychological needs, namely the Safety needs, the Love and Belonging needs, and the Esteem needs.

      When any of these basic needs of ours gets thwarted or threatened, we get angry or afraid, and tend to act irrationally, harming others or ourselves. This is what disturbs peaceful coexistence. Maslow's brief needs gratification therapy gives us a way to become conscious of our psychological needs, which are very often largely unconscious, thus giving us the opportunity to control our passions.

      The physiological needs are the most powerful of all our needs and Maslow asks us to consider homeostasis, and correct our nutritional deficiencies, in order to satisfy these needs. Educators, unfortunately, do not teach us the way to satisfy our physiological needs. Leaving our physiological needs unsatisfied in times of stress can often lead to mood and behavioral problems, as you would understand by watching this short video interview of mine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUORK9RkTIQ

      We have published two books on Maslow's needs gratification therapy. One of them, The Lost Path, has been praised by Jeremy Hunter, professor of self-management at the Drucker Graduate School of Management in Claremont, California. The presentation I had given to the scientists of the Defense Institute of Psychological Research, DRDO Delhi, has also been well appreciated. I have also presented four papers on the technique at various psychology conferences. Details of these can be found in the Articles on our website.

      As the incidents of anger and violence in the nation are on the rise, we have decided to arrange presentation and workshops at educational institution and organization on the technique to control one's passions and emotions. Or, if you would like us to train your staff, or counselors, in Maslow's humanistic needs gratification therapy that they may help others with this wonderful technique, do let us know.
    • Thiagarajan
      Posted by: karmayog On 08-Jan-2013, at 2:23 AM, shobha mathur shobham@yahoo.com wrote: Is the growing indiscipline in our country bothering you? Yes! And I
      Message 2 of 5 , Jan 8, 2013
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        Posted by: "karmayog"

        On 08-Jan-2013, at 2:23 AM, shobha mathur shobham@...> wrote:

        Is the growing indiscipline in our country bothering you?

        Yes! And I think this is the direct side effect of our population policy of " Hum Do, Hamara EK"

        A child first learns discipline at home. When he learns to accept that "NO" is not a lethal verb and the world does not end if you do not get you way.

        Sadly in most middle class homes with both parents working and no siblings each child grows to be sovereign and cannot tolerate any disobedience of any kind from anyone. At the slightest hint of opposition s/ he flows into rage against others – bullying, hitting, killing, breaking , or against himself – committing suicide! There are instances of 10 year olds committing suicide because the parents tried to restrain them !

        Punishments and rewards go hand in hand for a balanced upbringing. Scarcity of either makes a wonky personality. Previously with several siblings children used to learn basic social skills at home – sharing, caring, leg pulling, compromising, fighting and surviving , but today we are having only Kings and Queens who have no idea how to deal with others. Look at the spiralling divorce rates !

        Next side effect will be inverted population pyramid where there will be more seniors than young people. That introduces a whole new kind of stress about looking after the aging parents. What was previously shared by several siblings is now the lot of one, and you wonder why senior abuse is on rise!

        The teachers are supposed to discipline the child – without any punishment! The parents come and fight with teacher at the slightest excuse real or imaginary. The child knows he does not have to heed the teacher. You have instances of Teacher's rage when things get out of hand.

        I will be very brave and agitate hornet's nest!

        To my way of draconian thinking there has to be some punishment early in life so the person respects authority. Discipline initially comes from fear of authority. Later it grows in a habit. The religions used to keep people straight by fear of "sin – Paap".

        All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and
        All play and no work makes Jack a bully Jerk!

        Right now there is no respect for anything including life. If you teach kids to lampoon teachers, police or any authority they will grow to be fearless , directionless. and undisciplined.

        So I Advocate introducing some form of legalized punishment in schools, so the teachers don't get stressed out completely and take extreme measures.

        We need a complete overhaul of care packages for our care givers. Both the teachers and the police force are grossly underpaid , overworked and completely unappreciated. They need better salary/ working conditions.

        Lets take the side of our kids and make them responsible from the beginning. Cleaning your room at home or in school is not a calamity. Sternness by parents or teachers is good for building character, though I wonder if character has become outdated!

        Shobha Mathur
      • Nityanandam
        I think teachers are paid well but the present day cost of living is high for all artificial reasons that what ever a person,in whatever position is drawing is
        Message 3 of 5 , Jan 9, 2013
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          I think teachers are paid well but the present day cost of living is high for all artificial reasons that what ever a person,in whatever position is drawing is inadequate!. How do you solve this? Also society should stop this competition for ranks. A student should be allowed to study,understand and assimilate and reproduce when asked. He will find his position himself. Isnt it what most of the past generations did? also,unless this vicious circle of price rise,cost of living rise and so increase in pay and then increase in taxes ..(goes on) is not some where stopped life will never be good in this world. I know many may not appreciate this but its the truth!!!! i would request people to comment on this rather than read and delete this .

          --- In karmayog-hyd@yahoogroups.com, "Thiagarajan" wrote:
          > The last few days, weeks and months seem to be filled with incidents of the most horrific kind, where young women, children, senior citizens, people in hospitals and even those taking a jog have been assaulted and often killed.
          > A sample of some incidents of just the last few weeks:
          > - Student gang-raped in moving bus in Delhi
          > - Businessman steps out to jog, shot dead in Oshiwara
          > - Burglar rapes Spanish woman at knifepoint in Bandra flat
          > - Shootout in Gurgaon hospital leaves two patients critically injured
          > - Man mistakes woman for wife, stabs her in Mumbai
          > - I am scared of the day Jerrit John (acid attacker) steps out of jail
          > - 62-year-old widow raped by family friend in Mumbai
          > - Mumbai Pvt school bus knocks down and kills 6-yr-old in city
          > And many more such similar incidents from all parts of the country, most of which do not even reach the media.
          > One of the main reasons for the increase in such happenings is the belief amongst the perpetrators that they will get away and nothing serious is going to happen to them. And indeed, this is the situation in most cases, as the dismal lack of serious convictions for similar cases in the past has shown.
          > If you are an individual or part of a group who is sufficiently agitated about this, and you have any sort of plan or even no plan, please contact us at info@...
          > What we will do is to provide support to people who are going to take up specific instances and see that justice is done in each case.
          > We will arrange the necessary financial support.
          > Regards,
          > Vinay
          > www.karmayog.org
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