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JJdJ Feb 5, 08: Hunting the Buffalo

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  • Irene A. Mystery
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    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 4, 2008
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      Feb 5, 2008 Volume 98, Issue 833

      Jewish Joke du Jour Table of Content

      o Jewish Quote du Jour
      o "Hunting the Buffalo"


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      "Hunting the Buffalo"

      There was this family of Schmohawk Indians sitting
      around the shtetl one night. The papa, Geronowitz;
      the mama, Pocayenta; and the beautiful young
      daughter, Minihorowitz.

      "So, nu," says the daughter, "You'll never believe."

      "What?" says the mama.

      "Today, at high noon, I was proposed to in marriage."

      "Yes?" says the mama, "so what did you say?"

      "I said 'Yes.'"

      "You said 'Yes'?"

      "I said 'Yes.'"

      "That's wonderful," says the mama. "She said 'Yes'!
      Did you hear that Geronowitz? Our little Minihorowitz
      is getting married!"

      "I heard," says the papa, "I'm kvelling. So who's the
      lucky boy?"

      "Sittin' Bagle."

      "Sittin' Bagle?" says the mama, "of the SoSiouxMe

      "That's the one," says Minihorowitz.

      "Oy, Geronowitz! The SoSiouxMe's! There are so many
      of them! How can we feed them? How can we get
      them all in our teepee for the wedding?"

      "We'll think of something," says Geronowitz.

      "Geronowitz! Get me a buffalo!"

      "What, at this hour?"

      "No, Geronowitz, for the wedding! I can make buffalo
      tzimmes from the meat, and we can make an extra
      teepee from the hide. Get me a buffalo!"

      So Geronowitz goes out to hunt a buffalo. A day goes
      by, and a night, and Geronowitz has not come back.
      Another day and another night, and still no sign of him.
      Another day and half the night, and Geronowitz comes
      home. Exhausted. Staggering. And empty-handed.

      "Geronowitz!, I've been worried sick. Where have you
      been? And where's my buffalo?!"

      "It's like this," he says. "On my first day out, I hunted
      high, and I hunted low, and I finally found a buffalo.
      But this buffalo, he made Mickey Rooney look strong.
      It was a tiny, scrawny little buffalo, with no meat on his
      bones for buffalo tzimmes, and barely enough hide for
      a rain hat. So I settled in for the night to try again the
      next day.

      "The second day, I looked high, and I looked low, from
      this way and that way, and I finally found a buffalo. He
      was a big buffalo, with lots of meat, and lots of hide, but
      I tell you, Pocayenta, this was the ugliest buffalo I ever
      saw in my life. 'This,' I thought to myself, 'is not the
      buffalo for MY daughter's wedding.' So again, I settled
      in for the night to try again the next day.

      "The third day, I got up early, and I looked high and I
      looked low, from this way and that way, going up hills
      and down hills, and I found a buffalo. It was a big
      buffalo. It was, as buffalos go, a beautiful buffalo. It
      was, if I say so myself, the perfect buffalo.

      "'This,' I says to myself, 'is the buffalo Pocayenta wants
      for Minihorowitz's wedding.'"So I reach into my
      backpack quietly for my tomahawk, as I tip-toe over
      to the buffalo, raise my tomahawk slowly over the
      buffalo's neck, when suddenly, like a bolt of lightning
      from the sky, I see it."

      "See what?!?" says Pocayenta.

      "I've brought the dairy tomahawk!"


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