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JJdJ Nov 15, 07: Preaching to a Bear

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  • Irene A. Mystery
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    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 14, 2007
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      Nov 15, 2007 Volume 95, Issue 812

      Jewish Joke du Jour Table of Content

      o "Preaching to a Bear"
      o Jewish Quote du Jour


      Who came up with this hair-brained idea?

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      "Preaching to a Bear"

      A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served
      as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana
      in Missoula. They would get together two or three times
      a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone
      made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
      all that hard.

      A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing
      led to another and they decided to do an experiment.
      They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach
      to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later they're all
      together to discuss the experience.

      Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches,
      and has various bandages, goes first. 'Well,' he says, 'I
      went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
      him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that
      bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
      around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him
      and, Holy G~d, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop
      is coming out next week to give him first communion and

      Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with
      an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire
      and brimstone oratory he claimed, 'WELL brothers, you KNOW
      that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And
      then I began to read to my bear from G~d's HOLY WORD! But
      that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him
      and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another
      and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick
      DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you
      said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of
      the day praising The Lord.'

      They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital
      bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
      running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

      The rabbi looks up and says, 'Looking back on it, circumcision
      may not have been the best way to start.'


      Jewish Quote du Jour

      "The communism of Marx seeks a strong state
      centralization, and where this exists, there the parasitic
      Jewish nation - which speculates upon the labor of
      people - will always find the means for its existence."
      -- Mikhail Bakunin


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