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JJdJ Apr 4, 06: Who Wants to be a Kosher Millionaire

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  • Irene A. Mystery
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    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 3, 2006
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      Welcome to Jewish Joke du Jour!

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      One-Minute Millionaire!

      What's all the fuss about...So their students credit them
      with making $60,446,286.49 and sure they "gave away"
      over $701,234 to charity--but that's just what enlightened
      millionaires do, isn't it?!

      In every city, behind the scenes, there are thousands
      of enlightened millionaires who acquire their wealth
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      to their communities. And we want to show you exactly
      step-by-step how you can become one of them more
      quickly than you ever imagined.
      <a href=" http://www.jokedujour.com/ads/minute.htm ">AOL link</a>

      Apr 4, 2006 Volume 76, Issue 643

      Jewish Joke du Jour Table of Content

      o "Who Wants to be a Kosher Millionaire"
      o Links du Jour


      Want to play?

      View funny pictures at JdJ Thrills & Delights webpages:
      <a href=" http://www.jokedujour.com/thrills.htm ">AOL link</a>

      "Who Wants to be a Kosher Millionaire"

      You have been selected to play "So You
      Wouldn't Mind Being a Kosher Millionaire -
      You Should Only Live So Long." You have
      three lifelines to help you, as follows:

      1. You may call your Rabbi for his opinion.
      2. You may ask the congregation for their
      3. You may consider your spouse's opinion
      or not.

      Let's play:

      For $100:
      Q. What is the name of the Russian Space
      Station that crashed and burned on reentry?
      A. Oy Veys Mir

      For $200:
      Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family
      to dinner?
      A. "All right, everybody get in the car."

      For $500:
      Q. Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?
      A. Net-an-yahoo.

      For $1,000:
      Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made
      for Jewish women?
      A. Oil of Oy Vey.

      For $2,000:
      Q. What is the title of the new horror film
      for Jewish women?
      A. Debbilah Does Windows

      For $4,000:
      Q. What is the technical term for a Jewish
      woman who catches her husband in the
      act with his secretary?
      A. "The Plaintiff."

      For $8,000:
      Q. How does a Jewish kid verbally abuse
      his playmates?
      A. "Nyah Nyah, Your Mother pays retail."

      For $16,000:
      Q. In the Jewish doctrine, when does the
      fetus become human?
      A. When it graduates from medical school.

      For $32,000:
      Q. What do Jewish women do to keep their
      hands soft and nails long and beautiful?
      A. Nothing.

      For $64,000:
      Q. Define "Genius."
      A. A "C" student with a Jewish mother

      For $250,000:
      Q. When should a Moyel retire?
      A. When he can't cut it anymore.

      For $500,000:
      Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what
      would Cheetah be?
      A. A fur coat.

      For $1,000,000:
      Q What is the difference between a Jewish
      Grandmother and an Italian Grandmother?
      A. The accent.


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      Links du Jour

      Reduce cholesterol naturally!
      Ventracol is a powerful blend of nutrients
      that may naturally help lower cholesterol levels.
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      The clock is ticking on this great promotion!
      Participate today for yours!
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      Discover 5 things you can do to stay home
      with your kids and still make money.
      <a href=" http://www.jokedujour.com/ads/mom.htm ">AOL link</a>

      Shopping has never been so much fun.
      Think of the different ways you could use
      $500 worth in Kmart Gift Cards.
      <a href=" http://www.jokedujour.com/ads/kmart500.htm ">AOL link</a>

      Which is your favorite: Swiss Miss(r) or
      Ovaltine(r)? Participate for a FREE* $100
      Restaurant Gift Card!
      <a href=" http://www.jokedujour.com/ads/bev.htm ">AOL link</a>


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