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Apr 5, 2005 Volume 64, Issue 539
Yeah, I'm a Jewish Mother... and darn proud of it.
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What if these people had Jewish mothers????
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER: "This you call
a smile, after all the money your father and I
spent on braces?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still
should have written."
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Why can't
you paint on walls like other children? Do you know
how hard it is to get that schmutz off of the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "All right, if your're
not hiding your report card inside your jacket, take
your hand out of there and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Again
with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap
like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the
Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Of course
I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb.
Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care
where you think you have to go, young man,
midnight is long past your bed-time!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "But it's
your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done
something with your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER: "That's a good story!
Now tell me where you've really been for the last
BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "At least,
Monica was a nice Jewish girl!!!"
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