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JJdJ Aug 31, 04: A very Jewish zodiac

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  • Irene A. Mystery
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    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 30, 2004
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      Welcome to Jewish Joke du Jour!

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      Aug 30, 2004 Volume 56, Issue 479


      What sign are you? No, don't tell me...
      That's too much information...

      LadyHawke

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      What sign are you? No, don't tell me...


      HelpDesigned by great psychic, Leah Gabrielle, this zodiac
      fits the needs of those who are concerned with the more
      down-to-earth elements of life...

      Nissan - The Matzah. If you were born in Nissan, you may
      be thought of as boring and hard, but one need only look
      as far as the chicken soup to see the wide variety of
      possibilities you have in life.

      Iyar - The Steak. If you were born in Iyar, you are an
      independent person (or nation), and you have all the
      strength and juices one needs to survive in this world.

      Sivan - The Cheesecake. If you were born in Sivan, you
      are sweet and caring. You are soft and vulnerable and
      a bit crumbly at times.

      Tammuz - The Icepop. If you were born in Tammuz, you
      were born to cool off. But if you don't stay cool, you may find
      yourself a very messy puddle on the floor.

      Av - The Fish. If you were born in Av, you were born to eat
      fish and think about steak. You feel the need to work harder
      to show that you are valued as yourself and not just because
      there is no other option.

      Elul - The Krembo. If you were born in Elul, the summer
      months are very hard on you. You have a tendency towards
      a round figure, and you favor flavorless cookies. You do,
      however, have an excellent creamy interior.

      Tishrei - The Apple dipped in Honey. If you were born in
      Tishrei, people may think you're a drip, but they know that
      you're the sweetest thing since sliced challah (with honey).

      Heshvan - The Cranberry. If you were born in Heshvan, you
      have a biting sense of humor, and a sharp wit. You do,
      however, need to be boiled with a lot of sugar to be palatable.

      Kislev - The Jelly Donut. If you were born in Kislev, you are full
      of light, and even your exterior looks delectable. You may have
      oily skin though.

      Tevet - The Latke. If you were born in Tevet, you know that
      good things cannot be put away immediately. You have the
      desire for better things. You are desired by all and considered
      quite the hottie.

      Shvat - The Almond. If you were born in Shvat, you should
      remember that others may find you addictive and even
      mesmerizing, but it's better if they take you in small doses.

      Adar - The Hamentashen. If you were born in Adar, you are
      very much influenced by your parents. If they are skilled, you
      will be crisp and sweet on the outside, filled with an even
      sweeter softness inside. If not, you may find yourself addicted
      to Heroin because of all the poppy seeds.


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