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JJdJ Feb 4, 03: Jewish Wedding

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  • Irene A. Mystery
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    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 3, 2003
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      Feb 4, 2003 Volume 40, Issue 333


      A law is a law! Right?

      LadyHawke
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      "Jewish Wedding"

      A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing
      for a religious wedding,meets with their rabbi
      for counseling.

      The rabbi asks if they have any last questions
      before they leave. The man asks, "Rabbi, we
      realize it's tradition for men to dance with men,
      and women to dance with women at the reception.
      But, we'd like your permission to dance together."

      "Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest.
      Men and women always dance separately."

      "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with
      my own wife?"

      "No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

      "Well, okay," says the man, "what about sex?
      Can we finally have sex?"

      "Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah
      (good deed) within marriage, to have children!"

      What about different positions?" asks the man?

      "No problem," say! s the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"

      "Woman on top?" the man asks.

      "Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

      "Doggy style?"

      "Sure! Another mitzvah!"

      "On the kitchen table?"

      "Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

      "Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of
      hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness,
      a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

      "You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

      "Can we do it standing up?"

      "No." says the rabbi."

      "Why not?" asks the man.

      "Could lead to dancing!"
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