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JJdJ Dec 25, 12: Why Jews Don't Celebrate Christmas

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  • Irene A. Mystery
    Welcome to Jewish Joke du Jour! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Dec 25, 2012 Volume 154, Issue 1293 Jewish Joke du Jour Table of
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 24, 2012
                   Welcome to Jewish Joke du Jour!

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      Dec 25, 2012              Volume 154, Issue 1293


               Jewish Joke du Jour Table of Content

      o        Jewish Quote du Jour
      o        "Why Jews Don't Celebrate Christmas"

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      Now they know!

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              Jewish Quote du Jour


      "
      I'm a Jewish born-again Christian."
      -- Stephen Baldwin


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      "Why Jews Don't Celebrate Christmas"

      Tonight I figured out why Jews don't celebrate Christmas.
      It has nothing to do with not accepting Jesus as the Messiah.

      As I stood outside in the freezing cold trying to string those
      freakin' little lights around each tree branch, having them
      get hopelessly tangled and then periodically going out
      because one of the connections got loose, fumbling on
      the cold, dark ground to find the next connection to string
      together as my dog sat on the front stoop watching me
      march back and forth to and from the garage with yet
      another string of lights to attach to the last one, looking
      at me with the most perplexed expression on his face as
      he tried to figure out why we were outside at 1:00 a.m.
      doing whatever it was I was doing, I suddenly threw the
      whole tangled mess to the ground, glared at the tangle
      of wires now covering my fuzzy blue slippers, and had an
      epiphany:

      No wonder Jews don't celebrate Christmas - no Jew in
      his right mind would stand out here freezing his butt off,
      stringing hundreds of lights that will only have to be taken
      down in a month.

      I guarantee that 2000 years ago some Jew uttered the
      following words: "Oy! This is meshugana standing out
      here in the freezing cold for hours trying to hang these
      things!

      I could be inside where it's nice and warm, having a
      hot cup of tea, maybe a little nosh, watching Barbara
      Walters interview one of those upstart apostles! This kind
      of manual labor is for the goyim - they don't mind
      standing out here freezing their tushies off just to put
      lightbulbs on dead shrubs. Call the travel agent and
      pack the bags - we're going to Florida!"

      So, the next time a Christian asks why you don't
      celebrate Christmas, explain that you have nothing
      against Jesus. Tell them the real reason - it's those
      farkakta lights!


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