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JJdJ Feb 2, 12: Gourmet Food

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  • Irene A. Mystery
    Welcome to Jewish Joke du Jour! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Feb 2, 2012 Volume 144, Issue 1210 Jewish Joke du Jour Table of
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 1, 2012
                   Welcome to Jewish Joke du Jour!

      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

      Feb 2, 2012              Volume 144, Issue 1210


               Jewish Joke du Jour Table of Content

      o        Jewish Quote du Jour
      o         "Gourmet Food"

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      I just had an incredulous conversation with a guy from Liverpool, UK, who told me that my "What's Jewish and What's Not" list was offensive to Jews because it made Jews sound like gentiles.

               He wrote: I love being Jewish and I hate anything that is anti Jewish. BUT I find todays JJDJ disgustingly       Anti Jewish. It definitely oversteps the mark. It has gone far to far. It is Racist to the enth degree. It is in fact    stopping me making a commitment to your funds and I am now unsubscribing from your e mails.

      I've responded with:

               This list might be a bit stereotypical but IN NO WAY, FORM OR SHAPE is it Anti-Jewish! Who       else but the Jews themselves can make fun of us?!? I've had several emails telling me how        much they enjoyed this list and were looking forward to seeing the second part of it.    C'mon. Do you think Italians make Jewish jokes? No! They do Italian jokes! We Jews are   famous for making fun of ourselves!
      -------
      {What irked me is that this person had never donated any funds in the 12 years he'd been a subscriber yet the first thing he says is that he's not supporting JJdJ any more. How funny.}

      But the former subscriber (he took himself off the list) wasn't done with me yet. Once again, he is going for the throat with his oh-so-British superiority:  "It was obviously my English meaning that you did not      understand. There has been no offence in any other Jewish Joke you have sent. Yes as Jews we laugh at    ourselves. But that jokes made us look like the goyim are scummy and thick. That was what I found offensive.     So did 43 Jewish friends that I have shown it to."

      I just had to laugh at that. Only 43? Really? Doesn't he have better things to do with his time?

      I had fun writing the response to this email. What do you think?

      I've reread the list. Obviously, it is meant for the American Jews and not for our British stuck-up counterparts! It is painfully obvious that you don't understand the American Jewish humor, do not know our culture and still trying to judge the Americans. This particular list makes fun of the un-educated country bumpkins, not of Jews! 

      Eg 1:  The Limbo is Jewish        (i.e. going to the Caribbean, the Bahamas, or the Hawaii)
               Line dancing is Goyish (country hick entertainment)

      Eg 2:  Passing the Bar Exam is Jewish (i.e. becoming a Lawyer!)
               Passing bars is Goyish    (i.e. being a drunk - not a Jewish profession)

      Eg 3:  PBS is Jewish (the Public Broadcast Television, with art, history, and Masterpiece Theater programs)
               ESPN is Goyish (the sports channel with silly NASCAR car racing!)

      Now that you see the explanations which eluded you, don't you feel silly?
      ----------

      I love my subscribers.... even if I want to strangle some of them sometimes...

      So, this joke is for the Jews across the pond...

      LadyHawke
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      <>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>


              Jewish Quote du Jour

      "
      Jewish villages were built in the place of Arab
      villages. You do not even know the names of
      these Arab villages, and I do not blame you
      because geography books no longer exist."
      -- Moshe Dayan


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      "Gourmet Food"

      Harry was walking down Regent Street and stepped
      into a posh gourmet food shop.

      An impressive salesperson in a smart morning coat
      with tails approached him and politely asked, "Can
      I help you, Sir?"

      "Yes," replied Harry, "I would like to buy a pound of lox."

      "No. No," responded the dignified salesperson, "You
      mean smoked salmon."

      "OK, a pound of smoked salmon, then."

      "Anything else?"

      "Yes, a dozen blintzes."

      "No. No. You mean crepes."

      "Okay, a dozen crepes."

      "Anything else?"

      "Yes. A pound of chopped liver."

      "No. No. You mean pate."

      "Okay," said Harry, "A pound of pate then and
      I'd like you to deliver all of this to my house on
      Saturday."

      "Look," retorted the indignant salesperson, "we
      don't schlep on Shabbos!"


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