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Fwd: Red states, Blue states

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  • Clark Field
    ... From: Margee Stone Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:12 PM Subject: Fwd: Red states, Blue states To: Del Valino ,
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 1, 2012
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      ---------- Forwarded message ----------
      From: Margee Stone <margeestone@...>
      Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:12 PM
      Subject: Fwd: Red states, Blue states
      To: Del Valino <Valinodel@...>, Dorothy Snider <sniderdorothy2011@...>, Myra Lukac <myralukac@...>, Debbie Sturgeon <housebyus@...>, Clark Field <fieldandserr@...>, Bill Derr <hoosierbear47713@...>, Gisela Fischer <indianagisela@...>, Lordes Michel <lumichel61@...>


      Very funny...  I'm trying to pretend that Indiana isn't red... with all its bold blue spots, perhaps we could call it purple??

      ---------- Forwarded message ----------
      From: michele stone <mstonepeaceworks@...>
      Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 9:55 AM
      Subject: Fwd: Red states, Blue states
      To: Marcia Ballard <tommarball@...>, Margee Stone <margeestone@...>


      Dear Marcia,Tom and Margee,
      Please pretend you live in NY when you read this and um...the last bit about hurricanes probably needs to be adjusted a bit!!
      Love,  Michele


      Dear Red States:

       
      We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've
      decided we're leaving.

       
      We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other
      Blue States with us.

       
      In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
      Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the
      Northeast.

       
      We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to
      the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

       
      To sum up briefly:
      You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

       
      We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

       
      We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd
      Akin.

       
      We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

       
      We get* Intel* and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

       
      We get Harvard (*Princeton, Penn, Haverford, Colgate, U of R)*,. You get
      Ole' Miss.

       
      We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

       
      You get Alabama.

       
      We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay
      their fair share.

       
      Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
      Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
      moms.

       
      With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the
      country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of
      the nation's fresh fruit, *95% of America's quality wines* (you can serve
      French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high
      tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
      sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard,
      Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

       
      With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans
      and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly
      100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists,
      virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
      Clemson and the University of Georgia.

       
      We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

       
      38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a
      whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty
      or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was
      involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with
      higher morals then we lefties.

       
      We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

       
      Sincerely,

       
      Citizen of the Enlightened States of America 


       


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