Re: Book Contributions
- I get a domestic job, A woman has hired us to follow her husband,
whom she believes is cheating on her. I arrive at the subject's
work place at about 4:30 we have been told he leaves between 5:00-
5:30. About 5:20 were off. This is a normal looking white male
balding a little driving a ford station wagon. We stop at a gas
station and fill up and it looks like we get cigarettes too. Off we
go again. I follow him to a club well not so much a club as a bar. A
little dark and off the beaten path, the perfect affair spot. He
sits in the car for about ten minutes and then gets out he is
wearing a white shirt dark pants and a loosened tie. In he goes. So
in I go with my trusty hidden camera I make a bee line for the bar
and order a soda and pay with a twenty. I leave the money on the bar
and spin my stool around to see my guy sitting at a table about
three feet away. I get the inner seize and casually spin back to the
I wait about a half hour and I think he's just a drinker when a
woman who does not belong here walks in. She looks to be 25 -20
years old and is very attractive. I guess this as most of the males
in the place are looking her up and down. She sits with my guy and I
reach for the record button. My hidden camera is built in a light
jacket and I have it hung over the chair. I spin the chair and jump
out walking with my soda towards the pool table and the head. I am
hoping I have a good shot of the two of them I get back to my chair
in about ten minutes and throw my jacket on and out side I go.
I check the video and I got zip. That damn Murphy got me so I'm
cursing up a storm and chain smoking trying to figure out how I can
get back inside when he comes out with the woman and they get in his
car. Off we go again. Then I lose them at a light when some moron
cuts me off.
I look around for them with no luck anyone who has been there knows
how I feel at this moment. I cruise around some and go back and
check the bar. No joy. I head towards the highway and roll into a
commuter parking lot next to the highway to do my report, curse and
chain smoke some more. I back in a dark corner and look over to see,
you guessed it the subject's cars with him and the girl in it.
So now I am in a perfect spot I got my camera I got position and I
have the subject. So I wait. They appear to be talking so I wait I
take some video to show they are there. But I can't show anything
except he is in a car with a woman who is not his wife. They get a
little closer and I and waiting for the brake lights and then the
trip to the hotel.
I am wrong they look like they are going to get into the back seat I
grab the camera and get video of them getting into the back of the
car. It looks like I beat Murphy when a cop rolls up next to my
window sees the camera and motions for me to roll the window down.
I do and we talk, I can't tell him who I am working on but I think
he has a good idea. He asks me if I called in and I told him the
story up to the point where he pulls up and I got no video for the
night. I look a few times and see asses and elbows in the subjects
car windows I am really beginning to hate my life now. After the cop
and I have a good laugh over my luck he tells me to have a good
night and smiles, this was not a have a good night smile, this was a
watch this sh"t kicker grin. He rolls to about ten feet away from
the subject's car. I have just grabbed my camera and am hoping to
get the last few minutes of anything in the back seat. The cop hits
the lights, high beams, flashers and a couple chirps on the siren. I
hear him on the loud speaker "please step out of the vehicle" out
pops my guy wearing nothing but black socks and boxers and the woman
comes out behind him pulling on a shirt and hopping in one leg of
panty hose. I have the camera up running full blast I am laughing so
loud I thought they would hear me. I get about a half hour of the
cop just laying into them standing with hands on hips while they
got dressed and then found their ids and standing arm in arm while
the cop runs their licenses. They get back in the cars and start
driving off when the cop rolls up to me and gives me the lights and
siren. The subject left the lot and was gone. I would not have
followed him anyway. The cop drives back to my window and we
bullsh"t half the night. He made it clear that he never saw me and
had no idea I was here. I showed him the entire video so he could
see that I never showed his face or his car.
I get to the office the next day and show my boss the video and give
him the report he tells me that 4 other guys have been unable to get
anything on this guy. (I gave my boss the whole truth not the report
A few months later we get a call to testify in court for a divorce
hearing. This is a surprise as most times we never have to. 5 of us
have to go as we all worked on the case. Unknown to me, the husband
nor the husbands attorney haven't seen the video yet. So I listen
to the story of a man who loves his wife but had a drinking problem
and would go out nights and drink and play poker and every
imaginable thing except see another woman. I think the wife was the
best actress I have ever seen. I swear she had a tear forming in her
I do not know where nor how much the wife's attorney was from or got
paid but he was truly evil. He put each of us on the stand one at a
time with me last. Each of us got the same questions did you see
Mr. --------- with anyone outside of work? Did you observe any
behavior contrary to his statement? This went on for about an hour.
It was my turn after lunch. This lawyer hammered me. I was thinking
he forgot I was on his side. So you tricked Mr.---------- into
doing this or that. You manipulated him you, you , you. I was
sweating by the time he finished. I had just been released from the
stand when the lawyer said of by the way did you obtain any video
of Mr.------------- . I had forgotten!! Ummmm yes I did. You have
to imagine I am half sitting and half standing like a deer in
headlights now. I am doing the tennis match between the judge and
the lawyer. The judge takes pity on me and tells me to be seated
again. So the lawyer goes at me again how did you get the video,
what does it contain? (I have had defense attorneys treat me better
than he did.) This is when the Husbands attorney jumps up and
objects. Well I think we need to see this so called video (the
wife's attorney was looking right at me and he winked) The wifes
attorney asked the judge for a recess to show the video I thought it
was all over. The husbands attorney jumps up again and says we can
see it right now we have nothing to hide. Oh My god I thought this
is the first time this video is going to be seen?
So here I sat in court watching, what was the best video, all year,
taken at our company. I swear I tasted blood from biting my lip so
hard trying not to laugh.
We see a few minutes of the car at a bar, then some video of the guy
leaving the bar with the woman then some video of them sitting in
the car at this point the wife's attorney looks back towards me and
winks again. I get the urge to start giggling like a school girl I
actually had to put my hand over my mouth.
The next thing we see is the husband (in the black socks and the
boxers) and the woman hopping around on one leg. I was beside
myself I thought I was going to have a heart attack. The wife looks
back towards me and smiles a little. The husband looks at like I
should be on fire and screaming. So I bend over some trying to hide
(and laughing my ass off as quietly as possible) the judge actually
asks me if I am OK. With tears coming out of my eyes I look at him
and said I am sorry your honor I swallowed my gum this brought on
He called a recess (Thank God) to allow MR------- to collect himself
and dislodge the gum from his throat.
The husband lost BIG. The wife gave me a bonus ( A weekend trip to
Florida) I still start laughing when I think about it.
I changed some details as this was a big case here. The story
happend just that way.
--- In firstname.lastname@example.org, "geelongflag" <ashley@...>
> Hello everyone,
> This is an update on the book I am writing called, "A Lighter side
> of PI".
> I am finally closing in on the editing stage which I beleive will
> take a few months due to a heavy workload.
> I would like to make a final request to anyone who would like to
> contribute before I start the editing process.
> Remember, I am looking for stories that are funny, weird, strange,
> humorous and even naughty.
> If you would like to add a story or two, you will get full
> recognition and a nice write up in the book.
> Please include your bio or write up with all contact details if
> wish to contribute.
> If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.
> I look forward to hearing from you.
> Thanks to all who have already contributed.
> Ashley Mayne
> Mayne Investigations,
> PO Box 203, Noble Park
> Victoria 3174
> Lic 721-202-10S
> Ph 0407 155 527