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Dr.s' Tales - Hilarious

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  • Bryan McManis, BSBA
    Subject: Sometimes you need to see the human side of things. True Doctor Stories A man comes into the ER and yells, My wife s going to have her baby in the
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 24, 2004
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      Subject: Sometimes you need to see the human side of things.



      True Doctor Stories


      A man comes into the ER and yells,
      "My wife's going to
      have her baby in the
      cab!" I grabbed my stuff,
      rushed out to the cab,
      lifted the lady's dress,
      and began to take off her
      underwear. Suddenly I
      noticed that there were
      several cabs, and I was
      in the wrong one.

      --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

      At the beginning of my shift
      I placed a stethoscope on
      an elderly and
      slightly deaf female patient's
      anterior chest wall.
      Big breaths," I
      instructed. Yes, they used to be,"
      remorsefully
      replied the patient.

      --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA


      One day I had to be the bearer
      of bad news when I told
      a wife that her
      husband had died of a massive
      myocardial infarct. Not
      more than five minutes
      later, I heard! her reporting
      to the rest of the family
      that he had died of a
      "massive internal fart."

      --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada



      I was performing a complete physical,
      including the
      visual acuity test. I
      placed the patient twenty
      feet from the chart and
      began, "Cover your right
      eye with your hand." He read
      the 20/20 line perfectly.
      Now your left."
      Again, a flawless read. Now both,"
      I requested. There
      was silence. He
      couldn't even read the
      large E on the top line. I
      turned and discovered that
      he had done exactly what
      I had asked; he was standing
      there with both his
      eyes covered. I was laughing
      too hard to finish the exam.

      --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

      During a patient's two week
      follow-up appointment with
      his cardiologist, he
      informed me, his doctor,
      that he was having trouble
      with one of his
      medications. Which one?"
      I asked. The patch. The nurse
      told me to put on a
      new one every six hours and
      now I'm running out of
      places to put it!" I had
      him quickly undress and
      discovered what I hoped I
      wouldn't see. Yes, the man
      had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
      instructions include removal of
      the old patch before applying a new one.

      --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA



      I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
      So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
      It's very good, except for the Kentucky
      Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
      the patient replied. I then asked to see the
      jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
      labeled "KY Jelly."

      --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

      And Finally . . . .
      A new, young MD doing his
      residency in OB was quite
      embarrassed performing
      female pelvic exams. To cover
      his embarrassment he had
      unconsciously formed
      a habit of whistling softly.

      The middle aged lady upon whom
      he was per forming this
      exam suddenly burst
      out laughing and further
      embarrassed him. He looked up
      from his work and
      sheepishly said, "I'm sorry.
      Was I tickling you?"

      She replied, "No doctor,
      but the song you were
      whistling was 'I wish I was
      an Oscar Meyer Wiener."

      --won't admit his name

      Magnus Process Serving
      Bryan McManis, BSBA
      Certified and Bonded Process Server # 04-3-7
      Fifth Judicial Circuit Court Marion County Florida
      352-624-1884 Office
      775-206-9612 Fax
      775-278-8074 Office
      Graduate of Detective Training Institute
      Graduate of Florida Institute of Criminal Justice
      Member of thePIgroup
      Kodak Certified Photo Specialist
      Certified Legal Photographer
      bryanmcmanis@...
      www.magnusprocessserving.com
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