Re: [infoguys-list] Mental incompetence, etc.
- Only someone who DID abandon her "poor, sick husband"
would respond in such a sarcastic manner. I agree
with Ray. My advice to you - hire an attorney. You're
wasting our time sending extensively long emails and
only trying to make yourself feel better about not
having a conscience.
--- LadyLananda@... wrote:
> Okay, you're the second person in the last two days=== message truncated ===
> who has implied I
> abandoned my poor, sick husband. So here's the
> I failed to mention my husband had a work-related
> accident in November, 1995,
> involving ruptured discs in his low back from which
> he never fully recovered.
> Through a long, drawn-out workers' compensation
> process, much physical
> therapy & many appointments with specialists, he was
> diagnosed as permanently
> He had other pre-existing maladies for which he was
> taking many medications,
> i.e., high blood pressure, prostate disease,
> depression & receiving epidural
> injections in his low back for the pain from which
> he developed bowel &
> bladder incontinence as a side effect & from
> previous bladder/prostate &
> anal/rectal problems.
> He also had previous surgery for anal/rectal polyps
> & abdominal hernia & was
> diagnosed with a very small, unoperable aortic
> aneurysm after his accident.
> He was also hard of hearing but refused to wearing
> hearing aids, which made
> matters worse.
> He recovered okay from the surgeries but was still
> considered permanently
> disabled because of his accident. His doctors
> assured us that NONE of these
> were fatal but that he had developed spinal stenosis
> that worsened over time &
> he wouldn't be able to work again, also NON-fatal.
> So we were both given to
> believe by his physicians he had many, many years of
> life yet to live as he
> was tested many times for possible cancer & other
> stuff but none of the tests
> were positive for that.
> In his frustrations with his disabilities, he became
> increasingly mean,
> uncooperative, verbally/physically abusive to me. He
> broke things on purpose
> in the house & also by accident in the house & car.
> He punched holes in the
> walls, kicked doors in, broke doors beyond repair,
> door jambs & door knobs,
> kept knocking screens off windows, broke dishes &
> brick-a-brick by throwing
> it, mostly my things. In both mine & his cars, he
> repeatedly broke the turn
> signals, the gear shift indicator & various other
> handles & knobs in his
> haste & temper outbursts.
> Every day he cursed & swore obscenely & loudly at
> the tv &/or radio, both
> inside & out on the patio so the neighbors could
> hear him. He was completely
> belligerant with me & refused to obey his
> psychoneurologist's & other doctors
> & social worker's recommendations that he get an MRI
> brain scan & be
> evaluated for level of care by an M.D. neurologist.
> And there was no way on earth I could get him to go
> for that, because he was
> having delusions all I wanted to do was
> institutionalize him & steal our
> joint money, which never, at any time, was true. All
> I wanted was for someone
> to come in & help me care for him & give me some
> sleep time & respite away
> from home as I was semi-disabled, had my own
> illnesses & accidents & was
> seeing a chiropractor 3x a week, for the past three
> years plus many of my own
> doctor appointments, surgeries & legal cases for the
> accidents which weren't
> my fault.
> He didn't seem to understand that I could not take
> care of him alone or that
> I was sick & he refused to have anyone come in to
> help me at all. He refused
> meals on wheels to give me a shopping/cooking break
> & I still had all the
> housework to do in a two story townhouse by myself
> as we were living on only
> his & my small social security & the disability
> payments & couldn't afford
> outside help.
> I also attended Alzheimer's Association meetings at
> night when I could as
> recommended by his psychoneurologist who diagnosed
> him with "dementia such as
> Alzheimer's". He refused to go to the day care
> center for Alzheimer's
> patients to give me a break. He refused to go to the
> Veteran's hospital for
> two weeks, twice a year for respite for myself &
> evaluation & diagnosis for
> himself. He just refused everything for his or my
> sake or help & continued to
> be increasingly violent, destructive, aggressive,
> stubborn, uncooperative,
> verbally & physically abusive.
> After getting lost while driving several times &
> having two minor accidents,
> his fault, & one major one when he ran into a parked
> car head on & totalled
> out my car & had chest injuries, I hid the car keys
> from him. He became even
> more abusive after that & began to strike out at me
> & order me to go to the
> store for his cigarettes or candy way late at night
> or in the wee hours of
> the morning because he didn't sleep well & was up
> wandering around the house
> all hours of the day & night, leaving the stove
> burner on, lights & tv/radio
> on, stumbling & falling in the hall, out of bed &
> down the stairs. I had to
> supervise him every minute & carry things for him so
> he wouldn't fall down &
> hurt himself.
> I had always been on good terms with his family for
> over 25 years. I begged
> him & his two grown sons & wives or his wealthy
> sister to assist me in
> getting help. Or for his family to give me a break &
> help me take care of him
> & give me some respite so I could regain my own
> I begged his family to sit down & have family
> meetings with me to figure out
> a plan about how to get him to the M.D. neurologist
> for level of care
> diagnosis. His family kept refusing to help me or
> made excuses to cancel the
> meetings over & over again.
> I have letters to prove all this & notes of phone
> calls to them & from them.
> During the last year, I began to realize his family
> was hostile toward me for
> whatever reason I cannot understand. My doctor began
> to realize this as she
> was urging me to get out of the house & stay at my
> daughter's for rest &
> respite after several trips to the emergency room
> with chest pains & anxiety
> attacks, plus the various surgeries I hadn't
> recovered fully from & my own
> thyroid condition & chronic pain & fatigue.
> One of his sons is a well known millionaire movie-tv
> star &
> comedian/producer. He & his actress wife (no kids)
> lives in Beverly Hills &
> have a large house & a guest house on his property
> as big as our little
> townhouse was. He never offered once to take his
> father there & care for him,
> though I sent both him & his brother & their wives
> all the doctors reports &
> wrote them letters about all this over the years.
> His older brother, wife & two kids lived about 10
> mintues from us. He came
> over a couple of times a month only, stayed for l/2
> hour & then left. Once a
> month they had us over for dinner at their house as
> pre-agreed because I
> couldn't have them over at our place anymore. Near
> the end, they had their
> dad over for dinner twice a month & I stayed home
> for respite which was the
> only time they gave me a few hours of.
> When both sons were at the house one time, I showed
> them the damage done to
> the doors & house. They told me: "We're Jews & Jews
> don't know how to fix
> anything". So I never asked them to help with the
> repair work after that & I
> couldn't afford to hire a repair person so I did
> what I could myself with my
> daughter & son-in-law's & my son's help.
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