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Re: [infoguys-list] Mental incompetence, etc.

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  • Megan I. Todd
    Only someone who DID abandon her poor, sick husband would respond in such a sarcastic manner. I agree with Ray. My advice to you - hire an attorney. You re
    Message 1 of 3 , Jan 15, 2002
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      Only someone who DID abandon her "poor, sick husband"
      would respond in such a sarcastic manner. I agree
      with Ray. My advice to you - hire an attorney. You're
      wasting our time sending extensively long emails and
      only trying to make yourself feel better about not
      having a conscience.


      --- LadyLananda@... wrote:
      > Okay, you're the second person in the last two days
      > who has implied I
      > abandoned my poor, sick husband. So here's the
      > story:
      >
      > I failed to mention my husband had a work-related
      > accident in November, 1995,
      > involving ruptured discs in his low back from which
      > he never fully recovered.
      > Through a long, drawn-out workers' compensation
      > process, much physical
      > therapy & many appointments with specialists, he was
      > diagnosed as permanently
      > disabled.
      >
      > He had other pre-existing maladies for which he was
      > taking many medications,
      > i.e., high blood pressure, prostate disease,
      > depression & receiving epidural
      > injections in his low back for the pain from which
      > he developed bowel &
      > bladder incontinence as a side effect & from
      > previous bladder/prostate &
      > anal/rectal problems.
      >
      > He also had previous surgery for anal/rectal polyps
      > & abdominal hernia & was
      > diagnosed with a very small, unoperable aortic
      > aneurysm after his accident.
      > He was also hard of hearing but refused to wearing
      > hearing aids, which made
      > matters worse.
      >
      > He recovered okay from the surgeries but was still
      > considered permanently
      > disabled because of his accident. His doctors
      > assured us that NONE of these
      > were fatal but that he had developed spinal stenosis
      > that worsened over time &
      > he wouldn't be able to work again, also NON-fatal.
      > So we were both given to
      > believe by his physicians he had many, many years of
      > life yet to live as he
      > was tested many times for possible cancer & other
      > stuff but none of the tests
      > were positive for that.
      >
      > In his frustrations with his disabilities, he became
      > increasingly mean,
      > uncooperative, verbally/physically abusive to me. He
      > broke things on purpose
      > in the house & also by accident in the house & car.
      > He punched holes in the
      > walls, kicked doors in, broke doors beyond repair,
      > door jambs & door knobs,
      > kept knocking screens off windows, broke dishes &
      > brick-a-brick by throwing
      > it, mostly my things. In both mine & his cars, he
      > repeatedly broke the turn
      > signals, the gear shift indicator & various other
      > handles & knobs in his
      > haste & temper outbursts.
      >
      > Every day he cursed & swore obscenely & loudly at
      > the tv &/or radio, both
      > inside & out on the patio so the neighbors could
      > hear him. He was completely
      > belligerant with me & refused to obey his
      > psychoneurologist's & other doctors
      > & social worker's recommendations that he get an MRI
      > brain scan & be
      > evaluated for level of care by an M.D. neurologist.
      >
      > And there was no way on earth I could get him to go
      > for that, because he was
      > having delusions all I wanted to do was
      > institutionalize him & steal our
      > joint money, which never, at any time, was true. All
      > I wanted was for someone
      > to come in & help me care for him & give me some
      > sleep time & respite away
      > from home as I was semi-disabled, had my own
      > illnesses & accidents & was
      > seeing a chiropractor 3x a week, for the past three
      > years plus many of my own
      > doctor appointments, surgeries & legal cases for the
      > accidents which weren't
      > my fault.
      >
      > He didn't seem to understand that I could not take
      > care of him alone or that
      > I was sick & he refused to have anyone come in to
      > help me at all. He refused
      > meals on wheels to give me a shopping/cooking break
      > & I still had all the
      > housework to do in a two story townhouse by myself
      > as we were living on only
      > his & my small social security & the disability
      > payments & couldn't afford
      > outside help.
      >
      > I also attended Alzheimer's Association meetings at
      > night when I could as
      > recommended by his psychoneurologist who diagnosed
      > him with "dementia such as
      > Alzheimer's". He refused to go to the day care
      > center for Alzheimer's
      > patients to give me a break. He refused to go to the
      > Veteran's hospital for
      > two weeks, twice a year for respite for myself &
      > evaluation & diagnosis for
      > himself. He just refused everything for his or my
      > sake or help & continued to
      > be increasingly violent, destructive, aggressive,
      > stubborn, uncooperative,
      > verbally & physically abusive.
      >
      > After getting lost while driving several times &
      > having two minor accidents,
      > his fault, & one major one when he ran into a parked
      > car head on & totalled
      > out my car & had chest injuries, I hid the car keys
      > from him. He became even
      > more abusive after that & began to strike out at me
      > & order me to go to the
      > store for his cigarettes or candy way late at night
      > or in the wee hours of
      > the morning because he didn't sleep well & was up
      > wandering around the house
      > all hours of the day & night, leaving the stove
      > burner on, lights & tv/radio
      > on, stumbling & falling in the hall, out of bed &
      > down the stairs. I had to
      > supervise him every minute & carry things for him so
      > he wouldn't fall down &
      > hurt himself.
      >
      > I had always been on good terms with his family for
      > over 25 years. I begged
      > him & his two grown sons & wives or his wealthy
      > sister to assist me in
      > getting help. Or for his family to give me a break &
      > help me take care of him
      > & give me some respite so I could regain my own
      > health.
      >
      > I begged his family to sit down & have family
      > meetings with me to figure out
      > a plan about how to get him to the M.D. neurologist
      > for level of care
      > diagnosis. His family kept refusing to help me or
      > made excuses to cancel the
      > meetings over & over again.
      > I have letters to prove all this & notes of phone
      > calls to them & from them.
      >
      > During the last year, I began to realize his family
      > was hostile toward me for
      > whatever reason I cannot understand. My doctor began
      > to realize this as she
      > was urging me to get out of the house & stay at my
      > daughter's for rest &
      > respite after several trips to the emergency room
      > with chest pains & anxiety
      > attacks, plus the various surgeries I hadn't
      > recovered fully from & my own
      > thyroid condition & chronic pain & fatigue.
      >
      > One of his sons is a well known millionaire movie-tv
      > star &
      > comedian/producer. He & his actress wife (no kids)
      > lives in Beverly Hills &
      > have a large house & a guest house on his property
      > as big as our little
      > townhouse was. He never offered once to take his
      > father there & care for him,
      > though I sent both him & his brother & their wives
      > all the doctors reports &
      > wrote them letters about all this over the years.
      >
      > His older brother, wife & two kids lived about 10
      > mintues from us. He came
      > over a couple of times a month only, stayed for l/2
      > hour & then left. Once a
      > month they had us over for dinner at their house as
      > pre-agreed because I
      > couldn't have them over at our place anymore. Near
      > the end, they had their
      > dad over for dinner twice a month & I stayed home
      > for respite which was the
      > only time they gave me a few hours of.
      >
      > When both sons were at the house one time, I showed
      > them the damage done to
      > the doors & house. They told me: "We're Jews & Jews
      > don't know how to fix
      > anything". So I never asked them to help with the
      > repair work after that & I
      > couldn't afford to hire a repair person so I did
      > what I could myself with my
      > daughter & son-in-law's & my son's help.
      >
      === message truncated ===


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