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Re: [infoguys-list] Mental incompetence, etc.

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  • Ray Madison
    Your husband had been diagnosed with Alzheimer s in March, 2000, trusted you to handle his affairs as a result, then in July, 2000 you separated from him and
    Message 1 of 3 , Jan 14, 2002
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      Your husband had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in March, 2000, trusted you
      to handle his affairs as a result, then in July, 2000 you separated from him
      and were "undergoing a marriage dissolution process" as you so
      euphemistically put it. You may have a problem with convincing a court you
      kept your end of the bargain, and acted with the purest of motives and best
      of intentions. Funny how you were supposed to be on top of his affairs, yet
      didn't know he was fatally ill. Must have been a very well kept secret!

      Ray Madison


      >From: LadyLananda@...
      >Reply-To: infoguys-list@yahoogroups.com
      >To: infoguys-list@yahoogroups.com
      >Subject: [infoguys-list] Mental incompetence, etc.
      >Date: Sun, 13 Jan 2002 16:08:56 EST
      >
      >
      >1) My late husband signed a Revocable Trust for his "separate property"
      >(80%
      >of our joint estate) while on his death bed on morphine drip for pneumonia,
      >cancer & dementia (on the death certificate as causes of death). The Trust
      >was recorded on March 28, 2001. He died April 6, 2001, a few days later.
      >
      >2) We were separated, undergoing a marriage dissolution process at the time
      >&
      >I did not know he was fatally ill with cancer & expected to die. His
      >attorney
      >& his family knew he had only a few days to live.
      >
      >3) Before our July 5, 2000 separation, he had turned sole management
      >responsibility of our joint finances including all check writing &
      >checkbook
      >balancing & all other bank accounts/investments over to me in late October,
      >1999. This fact was written into a report by his psychoneurologist Ph.D.
      >who
      >diagnosed him with dementia/
      >Alzheimer's in March, 2000. She wrote it was appropriate he had turned the
      >financial management over to me because of his pre-existing mental deficits
      >&
      >serious lack of executive ability. Her overal diagnosis was for "mild to
      >moderate"..."dementia such as Alzheimer's".
      >
      >4) After our July 5, 2000 separation, my husband wrote 10 checks, 4 of
      >which
      >were void because of errors. So he wrote a total of 6 valid checks, mostly
      >in
      >August, 2000. After that his son wrote all other checks & managed all his
      >other mail & correspondence plus all the finances in accounts that
      >contained
      >my joint money also, not just my husband's, until January, 2001.
      >
      >5) On August 10, 2000 my husband also signed a house deed transfer from
      >joint
      >tenants to tenants in common of which I was unaware & which I did not give
      >my
      >written or verbal permission for.
      >
      >6) The mutual restraining orders on the July, 2000 divorce orders stated
      >that
      >during the divorce process, neither spouse was allowed to convey, transfer
      >or
      >transmute any deeds, life insurance, etc without the other spouse's written
      >permission, which I never gave.
      >
      >7) The same psychoneurologist, Ph.D. wrote in her August, 2000 declaration
      >that my husband was then "competent" & able to manage his own financial
      >affairs independantly. This was untrue according to the bank account
      >documentation & cancelled checks which she (the doctor) never saw or was
      >told
      >about.
      >
      >My questions are:
      >
      >1) Was the "joint tenants" to "tenants in common" title change illegal or
      >invalid/void without my written permission and was it a violation of the
      >mutual restraining orders during the unfinalized divorce process?
      >
      >2) How, exactly, is incompetency determined in California or elsewhere if
      >the
      >deceased spouse signed a Revocable Trust on his death bed while on heavy
      >morphine drip for cancer & died a few days after he executed the Trust?
      >
      >3) How is competency determined if the deceased spouse was unable to write
      >valid, competent, checks, manage the checkbook & other accounts/investments
      >independantly or without constant supervision?
      >
      >4) Was the March 28th, 2001 (recording date) Revocable Trust invalid since
      >my
      >husband was on his death bed when he wrote it & died a few days later with
      >"dementia" as 3rd leading cause of death on the death certificate?
      >
      >5) Was my husband's son, my stepson, guilt of fiduciary abuse, undue
      >influence or theft for comandeering bank accounts & writing checks from
      >accounts that contained my joint money as well as my husband's writhout my
      >permission?
      >
      >
      >
      >[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      >
      >
      >
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    • LadyLananda@aol.com
      Okay, you re the second person in the last two days who has implied I abandoned my poor, sick husband. So here s the story: I failed to mention my husband had
      Message 2 of 3 , Jan 15, 2002
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        Okay, you're the second person in the last two days who has implied I
        abandoned my poor, sick husband. So here's the story:

        I failed to mention my husband had a work-related accident in November, 1995,
        involving ruptured discs in his low back from which he never fully recovered.
        Through a long, drawn-out workers' compensation process, much physical
        therapy & many appointments with specialists, he was diagnosed as permanently
        disabled.

        He had other pre-existing maladies for which he was taking many medications,
        i.e., high blood pressure, prostate disease, depression & receiving epidural
        injections in his low back for the pain from which he developed bowel &
        bladder incontinence as a side effect & from previous bladder/prostate &
        anal/rectal problems.

        He also had previous surgery for anal/rectal polyps & abdominal hernia & was
        diagnosed with a very small, unoperable aortic aneurysm after his accident.
        He was also hard of hearing but refused to wearing hearing aids, which made
        matters worse.

        He recovered okay from the surgeries but was still considered permanently
        disabled because of his accident. His doctors assured us that NONE of these
        were fatal but that he had developed spinal stenosis that worsened over time &
        he wouldn't be able to work again, also NON-fatal. So we were both given to
        believe by his physicians he had many, many years of life yet to live as he
        was tested many times for possible cancer & other stuff but none of the tests
        were positive for that.

        In his frustrations with his disabilities, he became increasingly mean,
        uncooperative, verbally/physically abusive to me. He broke things on purpose
        in the house & also by accident in the house & car. He punched holes in the
        walls, kicked doors in, broke doors beyond repair, door jambs & door knobs,
        kept knocking screens off windows, broke dishes & brick-a-brick by throwing
        it, mostly my things. In both mine & his cars, he repeatedly broke the turn
        signals, the gear shift indicator & various other handles & knobs in his
        haste & temper outbursts.

        Every day he cursed & swore obscenely & loudly at the tv &/or radio, both
        inside & out on the patio so the neighbors could hear him. He was completely
        belligerant with me & refused to obey his psychoneurologist's & other doctors
        & social worker's recommendations that he get an MRI brain scan & be
        evaluated for level of care by an M.D. neurologist.

        And there was no way on earth I could get him to go for that, because he was
        having delusions all I wanted to do was institutionalize him & steal our
        joint money, which never, at any time, was true. All I wanted was for someone
        to come in & help me care for him & give me some sleep time & respite away
        from home as I was semi-disabled, had my own illnesses & accidents & was
        seeing a chiropractor 3x a week, for the past three years plus many of my own
        doctor appointments, surgeries & legal cases for the accidents which weren't
        my fault.

        He didn't seem to understand that I could not take care of him alone or that
        I was sick & he refused to have anyone come in to help me at all. He refused
        meals on wheels to give me a shopping/cooking break & I still had all the
        housework to do in a two story townhouse by myself as we were living on only
        his & my small social security & the disability payments & couldn't afford
        outside help.

        I also attended Alzheimer's Association meetings at night when I could as
        recommended by his psychoneurologist who diagnosed him with "dementia such as
        Alzheimer's". He refused to go to the day care center for Alzheimer's
        patients to give me a break. He refused to go to the Veteran's hospital for
        two weeks, twice a year for respite for myself & evaluation & diagnosis for
        himself. He just refused everything for his or my sake or help & continued to
        be increasingly violent, destructive, aggressive, stubborn, uncooperative,
        verbally & physically abusive.

        After getting lost while driving several times & having two minor accidents,
        his fault, & one major one when he ran into a parked car head on & totalled
        out my car & had chest injuries, I hid the car keys from him. He became even
        more abusive after that & began to strike out at me & order me to go to the
        store for his cigarettes or candy way late at night or in the wee hours of
        the morning because he didn't sleep well & was up wandering around the house
        all hours of the day & night, leaving the stove burner on, lights & tv/radio
        on, stumbling & falling in the hall, out of bed & down the stairs. I had to
        supervise him every minute & carry things for him so he wouldn't fall down &
        hurt himself.

        I had always been on good terms with his family for over 25 years. I begged
        him & his two grown sons & wives or his wealthy sister to assist me in
        getting help. Or for his family to give me a break & help me take care of him
        & give me some respite so I could regain my own health.

        I begged his family to sit down & have family meetings with me to figure out
        a plan about how to get him to the M.D. neurologist for level of care
        diagnosis. His family kept refusing to help me or made excuses to cancel the
        meetings over & over again.
        I have letters to prove all this & notes of phone calls to them & from them.

        During the last year, I began to realize his family was hostile toward me for
        whatever reason I cannot understand. My doctor began to realize this as she
        was urging me to get out of the house & stay at my daughter's for rest &
        respite after several trips to the emergency room with chest pains & anxiety
        attacks, plus the various surgeries I hadn't recovered fully from & my own
        thyroid condition & chronic pain & fatigue.

        One of his sons is a well known millionaire movie-tv star &
        comedian/producer. He & his actress wife (no kids) lives in Beverly Hills &
        have a large house & a guest house on his property as big as our little
        townhouse was. He never offered once to take his father there & care for him,
        though I sent both him & his brother & their wives all the doctors reports &
        wrote them letters about all this over the years.

        His older brother, wife & two kids lived about 10 mintues from us. He came
        over a couple of times a month only, stayed for l/2 hour & then left. Once a
        month they had us over for dinner at their house as pre-agreed because I
        couldn't have them over at our place anymore. Near the end, they had their
        dad over for dinner twice a month & I stayed home for respite which was the
        only time they gave me a few hours of.

        When both sons were at the house one time, I showed them the damage done to
        the doors & house. They told me: "We're Jews & Jews don't know how to fix
        anything". So I never asked them to help with the repair work after that & I
        couldn't afford to hire a repair person so I did what I could myself with my
        daughter & son-in-law's & my son's help.

        My kids offered to help me far more than his kids every did. And that wasn't
        their father either, he was their stepfather. But they never baby-sat him for
        me while I was out. Their own father, my first husband has schizophrenia & my
        kids help care for him also.

        I never could understand why his kids (both in their early forties as are
        mine) could leave a sick, semi-disabled woman singlehandedly caregiving their
        father. You'd think they'd want an able-bodied young, strong person, not my
        5'l" 110 lb self when my husband weighed around 200 pounds most of the time.

        I have severe spinal scoliosis/arthritis, disc degeneration of 30 years
        duration myself with chronic pain from that which limits what I can do in my
        60s (now 65). I'm not supposed to lift over 10 pounds. His kids knew about
        that years ago & I sent them my medical records also & doctors
        recommendations but they ignored it all & treated me as if I am Superwoman,
        which I'm not.

        After the last trip to emergency room with chest pains, my doctor ordered me
        to leave home for rest & respite saying I was physically, mentally,
        emotionally exhausted. So, his nearby son & wife were notified as we had a
        long-standing agreement that if I had to leave overnight for any reason, they
        would take over for me with their dad.

        But when I left for rest at my daughter's for a few weeks a month earlier,
        they asked their dad if he'd be okay by himself & of course he said yes. So
        they left town for three days & nights without telling anyone he was alone at
        home to check on him. I was furious with them for leaving him alone like that
        altho he seemed to do okay, at least that time he did. Except he'd call me at
        my daughter's several times a day with questions about this or that & ask me
        to come back home. He didn't have the mental capacity to even realize I
        needed rest & respite from him at all.

        When I asked him one day, what he wanted me to do about my own needs, he
        pounded his fist on the desk & said "I want you right here". Another time
        when I gave him a medical release form to sign, he wadded it up, threw it in
        my face & shouted "F---- you" and "Get the hell out of here"! I reported
        those incidents & his overal manic behavior to his primary care physician who
        got a recommendation for him to see a Dr. White, a neurologist for further
        testing. But that never happened because he refused to go & I couldn't talk
        him into going or get him there any way I knew of.
        His sons refused to assist me in getting him to go also.

        A month later I went to stay at my daughter's again for a week or so respite.
        That time my stepson then locked me out, changed the locks, filed restraining
        orders & divorce against me for his father, took his dad to the bank to get
        our joint accounts cancelled & my name taken off so he could open a new one
        for his dad & himself.

        That's theft, IMO, because I never at any time, gave my stepson permission to
        manage any part of my joint money at all. After he did that, I had no money
        to pay the joint bills with, as I had taken all the bills & checkbook with me
        to pay them as I always had, at home or away from home. In fact, before I
        left home, I told my husband & his son I was taking the bills & checkbook
        with me so I could pay them as it was my responsibility to do so.

        After I left the second time, I tried to go back home to get the bank account
        mess fixed by talking to my husband about it because I had talked to my
        husband on the phone about it & he agreed it was a mistake & he would correct
        it. My stepson was there & he barred me from entering my own house & when I
        tried to get in, he knocked me down & broke my arm. He refused to talk about
        anything at all with me & wouldn't let me talk to my husband either.

        He got away with that too, neither the police or district attorney or Adult
        Protective Services did a thing to him because he said it was an accident,
        which it wasn't. They told me it was up to my attorney & courts to resolve
        the issue & that's where it's been ever since then. I didn't file for divorce
        & never wanted any. I just wanted some help at home to caregive my husband &
        myself which nobody in his family or anywhere else gave me & which my husband
        refused to allow me to have or cooperate with me about.

        But I was living in an insane asylum with a sick, raving maniac & just
        couldn't do it anymore singlehandedly. Dementia comes from the word "Demon" &
        that's exactly what I was living with. It was crazy & I've been rendered
        homeless & in debt for $100,000. in legal & medical debts I'm responsible for
        as widow.

        But my stepsons are claiming 80% of our joint estate is theirs even though I
        put every cent of my earnings, gifts & awards into our joint accounts from
        Day One of our marriage to pay for everything, even the house mortgage & cars
        & all other joint bills. They put nothing into our marriage & they even were
        paying us back for about $88,000. in loans they were making quarterly
        payments to us for, which they stopped doing now, though they still owe it to
        me, as widow.

        A month later in August, 2000, in court about the divorce, the judge dropped
        the restraining orders on me after seeing my broken arm, seeing my stepson's &
        husband's larger sizes compared to my very small stature. But there were
        "standard" mutual restraining orders as part of the divorce that prevented
        both my husband & myself from contacting one another.

        Also because my husband was worse sick that I was, he got control of the
        house so I wasn't allowed to go back onto my own property nor did I have any
        further contact with him or any member of his family after that & I still
        don't. My attorney had me agree not to contact any member of his family or
        himself & vice versa. Everything I heard about them or him & his welfare was
        from my attorney who was told by their attorney or through letters to his
        attorney from me when I didn't have an attorney.

        I've had 5 attorneys so far, mostly because they said my stepson was
        hotheaded & they didn't want to tangle with him or have him coming to their
        house or office. That's what they implied to me anyway, tho they made up
        other excuses to get off the case after they met him. So I had to represent
        myself for many months, which was awful for me because I don't have a law
        degree & they creamed me in court & outside of it too. Their attorney went to
        the judge behind my back too at one time. They've pulled every trick in the
        book or out of it.

        His attorney didn't tell my attorney that my husband, a few months later,
        fell & broke his hip (because his kids left him alone at home all that time) &
        had two hip surgeries & was later diagnosed with cancer & given a few months
        to live because the hip sugeries didn't work. After he was in & out of the
        hospital twice & in a rehab center, they hired a live-in male nurse to
        caregive him 24/7 with our joint money, without my permission. They let him
        smoke cigarettes in the house all day too, which I never allowed. No doubt
        that's how he got lung cancer. That's part of where the $100,000. debts came
        from.

        They tricked me into signing the house sale contract too by not telling me my
        husband had been fatally ill months earlier or was on his death bed at the
        time they
        & their attorney pushed me into signing. My husband died two days later & my
        attorney didn't know about it & couldn't get to me in time, over the weekend,
        when he found out a day or so earlier. So they withheld the facts of his
        fatal cancer in three organs & his death watch from me also because I wasn't
        allowed any contact with them & their attorney didn't notify mine.

        Now I'm basically homeless because I can't even rent a place with my credit
        ruined & I can't buy another place because they won't let me have my house
        sale money or any part of the estate assets. I've also had to move/relocate
        five times during the past year & a half because there was a fire at my
        daughter's & we all had to move to hotels & then I had to rent a room in
        another town & then back to my house to get it ready to sell, pack & move &
        then to my brother's apartment temporarily in another town two hours drive
        north of my own home. I'm not done moving yet either even though I'm injured
        from moving/packing all these times & limited physical ability & chronic pain
        & fatigue. It's exhausting for anyone, let alone a 65 year old semi-disabled
        woman.

        So they're just plain greedy or jealous or whatever & they influenced their
        father to do this to me somehow so they could get most of the estate & leave
        me homeless, penniless & thrown away like an old dish rag. It's criminal what
        they're doing & getting away with & they need to be stopped. Nobody should
        treat anyone this way, especially elders like myself. they're deliberately
        trying to wear me out, exhaust me physically, financially & every other way
        they can so I will stop trying to get any part of what they stole from me.

        My attorneys have all told me that, even the estate attorney on the case now
        who isn't cooperating or communicating with me & doesn't want to talk to me &
        who dropped the injury action against my stepson without consulting me first.
        I've filed a complaint with the State Bar against him but I still have to go
        to court with him next month because I cannot afford yet another attorney.

        So that's the story & where it's at right now & I don't know where to go for
        help from here. But I have ample documentation I never at any time tried to
        take money from out joint accounts but handled everything with complete
        honesty all the way through & still am as I would have wanted my husband to
        if the situation was reversed. So there's no way to prove otherwise unless
        they lie about it as they have been. Then they'll have to prove their lies.


        In a message dated 1/14/02 7:55:38 PM Pacific Standard Time,
        ray_madison@... writes:
        >
        > Your husband had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in March, 2000, trusted
        > you
        > to handle his affairs as a result, then in July, 2000 you separated from
        > him
        > and were "undergoing a marriage dissolution process" as you so
        > euphemistically put it. You may have a problem with convincing a court you
        > kept your end of the bargain, and acted with the purest of motives and best
        > of intentions. Funny how you were supposed to be on top of his affairs,
        > yet
        > didn't know he was fatally ill. Must have been a very well kept secret!
        >
        > Ray Madison
        >
        >
        >




        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Megan I. Todd
        Only someone who DID abandon her poor, sick husband would respond in such a sarcastic manner. I agree with Ray. My advice to you - hire an attorney. You re
        Message 3 of 3 , Jan 15, 2002
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          Only someone who DID abandon her "poor, sick husband"
          would respond in such a sarcastic manner. I agree
          with Ray. My advice to you - hire an attorney. You're
          wasting our time sending extensively long emails and
          only trying to make yourself feel better about not
          having a conscience.


          --- LadyLananda@... wrote:
          > Okay, you're the second person in the last two days
          > who has implied I
          > abandoned my poor, sick husband. So here's the
          > story:
          >
          > I failed to mention my husband had a work-related
          > accident in November, 1995,
          > involving ruptured discs in his low back from which
          > he never fully recovered.
          > Through a long, drawn-out workers' compensation
          > process, much physical
          > therapy & many appointments with specialists, he was
          > diagnosed as permanently
          > disabled.
          >
          > He had other pre-existing maladies for which he was
          > taking many medications,
          > i.e., high blood pressure, prostate disease,
          > depression & receiving epidural
          > injections in his low back for the pain from which
          > he developed bowel &
          > bladder incontinence as a side effect & from
          > previous bladder/prostate &
          > anal/rectal problems.
          >
          > He also had previous surgery for anal/rectal polyps
          > & abdominal hernia & was
          > diagnosed with a very small, unoperable aortic
          > aneurysm after his accident.
          > He was also hard of hearing but refused to wearing
          > hearing aids, which made
          > matters worse.
          >
          > He recovered okay from the surgeries but was still
          > considered permanently
          > disabled because of his accident. His doctors
          > assured us that NONE of these
          > were fatal but that he had developed spinal stenosis
          > that worsened over time &
          > he wouldn't be able to work again, also NON-fatal.
          > So we were both given to
          > believe by his physicians he had many, many years of
          > life yet to live as he
          > was tested many times for possible cancer & other
          > stuff but none of the tests
          > were positive for that.
          >
          > In his frustrations with his disabilities, he became
          > increasingly mean,
          > uncooperative, verbally/physically abusive to me. He
          > broke things on purpose
          > in the house & also by accident in the house & car.
          > He punched holes in the
          > walls, kicked doors in, broke doors beyond repair,
          > door jambs & door knobs,
          > kept knocking screens off windows, broke dishes &
          > brick-a-brick by throwing
          > it, mostly my things. In both mine & his cars, he
          > repeatedly broke the turn
          > signals, the gear shift indicator & various other
          > handles & knobs in his
          > haste & temper outbursts.
          >
          > Every day he cursed & swore obscenely & loudly at
          > the tv &/or radio, both
          > inside & out on the patio so the neighbors could
          > hear him. He was completely
          > belligerant with me & refused to obey his
          > psychoneurologist's & other doctors
          > & social worker's recommendations that he get an MRI
          > brain scan & be
          > evaluated for level of care by an M.D. neurologist.
          >
          > And there was no way on earth I could get him to go
          > for that, because he was
          > having delusions all I wanted to do was
          > institutionalize him & steal our
          > joint money, which never, at any time, was true. All
          > I wanted was for someone
          > to come in & help me care for him & give me some
          > sleep time & respite away
          > from home as I was semi-disabled, had my own
          > illnesses & accidents & was
          > seeing a chiropractor 3x a week, for the past three
          > years plus many of my own
          > doctor appointments, surgeries & legal cases for the
          > accidents which weren't
          > my fault.
          >
          > He didn't seem to understand that I could not take
          > care of him alone or that
          > I was sick & he refused to have anyone come in to
          > help me at all. He refused
          > meals on wheels to give me a shopping/cooking break
          > & I still had all the
          > housework to do in a two story townhouse by myself
          > as we were living on only
          > his & my small social security & the disability
          > payments & couldn't afford
          > outside help.
          >
          > I also attended Alzheimer's Association meetings at
          > night when I could as
          > recommended by his psychoneurologist who diagnosed
          > him with "dementia such as
          > Alzheimer's". He refused to go to the day care
          > center for Alzheimer's
          > patients to give me a break. He refused to go to the
          > Veteran's hospital for
          > two weeks, twice a year for respite for myself &
          > evaluation & diagnosis for
          > himself. He just refused everything for his or my
          > sake or help & continued to
          > be increasingly violent, destructive, aggressive,
          > stubborn, uncooperative,
          > verbally & physically abusive.
          >
          > After getting lost while driving several times &
          > having two minor accidents,
          > his fault, & one major one when he ran into a parked
          > car head on & totalled
          > out my car & had chest injuries, I hid the car keys
          > from him. He became even
          > more abusive after that & began to strike out at me
          > & order me to go to the
          > store for his cigarettes or candy way late at night
          > or in the wee hours of
          > the morning because he didn't sleep well & was up
          > wandering around the house
          > all hours of the day & night, leaving the stove
          > burner on, lights & tv/radio
          > on, stumbling & falling in the hall, out of bed &
          > down the stairs. I had to
          > supervise him every minute & carry things for him so
          > he wouldn't fall down &
          > hurt himself.
          >
          > I had always been on good terms with his family for
          > over 25 years. I begged
          > him & his two grown sons & wives or his wealthy
          > sister to assist me in
          > getting help. Or for his family to give me a break &
          > help me take care of him
          > & give me some respite so I could regain my own
          > health.
          >
          > I begged his family to sit down & have family
          > meetings with me to figure out
          > a plan about how to get him to the M.D. neurologist
          > for level of care
          > diagnosis. His family kept refusing to help me or
          > made excuses to cancel the
          > meetings over & over again.
          > I have letters to prove all this & notes of phone
          > calls to them & from them.
          >
          > During the last year, I began to realize his family
          > was hostile toward me for
          > whatever reason I cannot understand. My doctor began
          > to realize this as she
          > was urging me to get out of the house & stay at my
          > daughter's for rest &
          > respite after several trips to the emergency room
          > with chest pains & anxiety
          > attacks, plus the various surgeries I hadn't
          > recovered fully from & my own
          > thyroid condition & chronic pain & fatigue.
          >
          > One of his sons is a well known millionaire movie-tv
          > star &
          > comedian/producer. He & his actress wife (no kids)
          > lives in Beverly Hills &
          > have a large house & a guest house on his property
          > as big as our little
          > townhouse was. He never offered once to take his
          > father there & care for him,
          > though I sent both him & his brother & their wives
          > all the doctors reports &
          > wrote them letters about all this over the years.
          >
          > His older brother, wife & two kids lived about 10
          > mintues from us. He came
          > over a couple of times a month only, stayed for l/2
          > hour & then left. Once a
          > month they had us over for dinner at their house as
          > pre-agreed because I
          > couldn't have them over at our place anymore. Near
          > the end, they had their
          > dad over for dinner twice a month & I stayed home
          > for respite which was the
          > only time they gave me a few hours of.
          >
          > When both sons were at the house one time, I showed
          > them the damage done to
          > the doors & house. They told me: "We're Jews & Jews
          > don't know how to fix
          > anything". So I never asked them to help with the
          > repair work after that & I
          > couldn't afford to hire a repair person so I did
          > what I could myself with my
          > daughter & son-in-law's & my son's help.
          >
          === message truncated ===


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