I sit here and wonder how to begin this letter without rambling.
There are so many things that I would like to say and so many ways
that I have learned in the past week that it is hard to know where to
I haven't been active in the group these last 2 weeks due to the fact
that my husband (JP), son (Quinn) and I went to visit JP's family.
They were putting together a reunion around his arrival because he has
not been back in 20 some years. Why? You may wonder.
There are many of us who have experienced unpleasant childhoods, which
drove us away from family and home life to explore the world at large.
This is one of the agreements that we made in order to remember
ourselves. Some may have had a harder time than others in this
awakening process. I can only speak of my own experiences, and those
of my husband. JP's childhood was wrought with alcoholic abuse from
his mother and step-father. Mine was psychotic schizophrenia from my
mother and neglect from my estranged father. We all have our stories.
Anyway, I was a bit apprehensive of this reunion, as you might guess.
There has been a lot of unexpressed pain and anger building up within
JP, that has lead to his disabilities. I read somewhere here that
this is the time for all of our old baggage to come to the surface and
be discarded so that we may engage more of our DNA make up. This is
why I was supporting this venture into the unknown.
We went to Ill. for eight days with the hope that all old injury would
be peacefully resolved. By the second day things were not going as
planned. We brought home some food that we bought only to be
confronted by his mother, who was offended that we would do such a
thing. When we told her that we just didn't eat the same way she
started yelling and saying that she had asked me three times that day
if there was anything special I needed. I had been suffering from a
intense migraine and wasn't very focused. JP sent me and Quinn
downstairs because both of his parents were yelling and we did not
want to expose our son to that type of behavior.
JP spent the next hour and a half re-hashing his childhood memories
with them. His mother seemed to think that everything that had
happened was based on his decisions and not what they had been doing.
By the end of that night he was ready to pack up and leave. I sat
and talked to him about staying this out, if for nothing else, to
resolve his karmic pain. We agreed to go along as long as possible
and stay in the house.
For the next three days things seemed to be working out all right. We
went and met with other family members in the area and JP was able to
resolve, or so he thought, some anger issues with his half brother.
We met with one of the members of the Indigo Action chat group, who
happened to live in JP's hometown. That was cool.
Saturday afternoon came around and the reunion began. Most of the
people there were friendly and happy. We took pictures and talked
about the weather, you know, not much. The food was OK and the
company was welcoming.
On Sunday JP wasn't feeling well and couldn't make the first church
ceremony. His mom waited around for him to get up so that we could
make the later one. We got there late and he couldn't keep awake, but
that was OK by me. The pastor/minister was talking about how all
things that people think they possess and earn are really God's and we
are just stewards of the stuff.
Isn't it ironic that when they talk about stuff, they are talking
about cars and TVs and material possessions? Like that stuff even
existed when God spoke about stewardship.
Then he wrapped the speech up with a plea for money to erect a school
to train the children right. TRAIN the children!! Boy, are they in
for a surprise.
I thought that I would break this message up into two parts so that
you can take a break. This story is meant to offer some insight into
the mechanisms of our karmic outline to play out. Each of us has our
own karma to deal with. Blessings to all of you on your journey.
Stay tuned for part 2.
Peace, Love and Light.