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To test or not to test....to date or not to date.......

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  • Rhonda Holscher
    Ok here it is. I am facing a new avenue in life I guess you could say. Joe has been gone almost a year, and I am starting to get asked out. I have two dates
    Message 1 of 6 , Mar 1 12:04 AM
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      Ok here it is. I am facing a new avenue in life I guess you could say. Joe has been gone almost a year, and I am starting to get asked out. I have two dates with the same fellow, and am suppose to be going out this weekend with someone else.
       
      I am AtRisk. I have thus far decided not to be tested. But..........now that I am single and starting to date is it fair for me to not let them know if I should start to get serious with anyone. I mean I tell everyone right upfront my situation. I tell them everything from the get go, but I do not know if I have it.
       
      I have no financial resources available so I have no life insurance policies except for what Joe and I had started together, but I cannot be sure that he will keep those up or even if he has kept those up. At this time I am on Medicaid. If that gets taken away then I will not be able to find medical insurance either if I test and am positive. And so on so forth. You all know where this is going.
       
      What are your opinions?
       
      Is it fair to get involved with someone and not know if I am positive or not?
      How can I see to it that I my butt is covered in other aspects if I test positive when I have no resources available to me?
       
      I know this has been discussed many times, but I'm asking again what your thoughts are.
       
      Rhonda


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    • Pamela DelSignore
      Hi Rhonda, I myself dated while I was at risk. I waited a little while before telling my boyfriend about my HD situation. I tried to time it so that I knew
      Message 2 of 6 , Mar 1 2:34 AM
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        Hi Rhonda,
        I myself dated while I was at risk.  I waited a little while before telling my boyfriend about my HD situation.  I tried to time it so that I knew that he actually liked me, but before things got to an actual commitment.  I was afraid that he might break things off after I told him.  But he didn't.  He hardly even flinched.  Maybe it was ignorance, but whatever it was I was blessed.  He's now my husband and father to our daughter.  Life is a big risk worth taking!
        Pamela


        Rhonda Holscher <sawedoffrunt69@...> wrote:
        Ok here it is. I am facing a new avenue in life I guess you could say. Joe has been gone almost a year, and I am starting to get asked out. I have two dates with the same fellow, and am suppose to be going out this weekend with someone else.
         
        I am AtRisk. I have thus far decided not to be tested. But..........now that I am single and starting to date is it fair for me to not let them know if I should start to get serious with anyone. I mean I tell everyone right upfront my situation. I tell them everything from the get go, but I do not know if I have it.
         
        I have no financial resources available so I have no life insurance policies except for what Joe and I had started together, but I cannot be sure that he will keep those up or even if he has kept those up. At this time I am on Medicaid. If that gets taken away then I will not be able to find medical insurance either if I test and am positive. And so on so forth. You all know where this is going.
         
        What are your opinions?
         
        Is it fair to get involved with someone and not know if I am positive or not?
        How can I see to it that I my butt is covered in other aspects if I test positive when I have no resources available to me?
         
        I know this has been discussed many times, but I'm asking again what your thoughts are.
         
        Rhonda


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        "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thouroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming Woo Hoo - What a Ride!"


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      • Sue Adams
        Rhonda, testing is your decision as you well know. It is something you have to be comfortable with and ready for. I don t see why you feel you have to know the
        Message 3 of 6 , Mar 2 2:28 PM
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          Rhonda, testing is your decision as you well know. It is something you have to be comfortable with and ready for. I don't see why you feel you have to know the results to go out with someone. If you tell them upfront from the get go it would be up to them to either question you about the disease, or to go look it up for them selves. This is what the dater should base his thoughts on. As we all know HD is no secret on the internet so there would be no lies there. And I don't see you candy coating your answers. So I say live your life to the fullest as you have been and just let them know you are at risk and go from there. If they are willing to be at your side through it all then live until you have to make a decision. If he takes a hike then he was not the one you wanted. The hurt will be there but you will also know how to wade through the dating game waters. If he sticks around so much the better for you! Go out Rhonda find someone you can depend on and let life take its course.
           
          Susie
           
           
          A Friend Is One Who Comes In When The Whole World Has Gone Out
          Cure Huntington's Disease
        • iacob_a_liviu
          in 2002 , i found my pop HD, in romania no one knows very much about HD, no one coulnd t tell me and my sister where can we make test to find if we have HD,
          Message 4 of 6 , Mar 4 2:37 AM
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            in 2002 , i found my pop HD,
            in romania no one knows very much about HD, no one coulnd't tell me
            and my sister where can we make test to find if we have HD, ok...
            i was alone, my sister is married since 1995.
            last year i have meet a girl, the trouble just start,
            she isn't exactly what i like, but i start to love here...
            and... from many reason we start "fight", i'm very nervious, change
            behaviour.
            this girls is not for me...
            i know that, but i need here( i'm depending psicho from she...)
            so ... it's start a questions...
            HD teen... must not date?
            what is happening with me?
            i was wrong?
            it was HD symptoms?
            some dr. told me something:
            U are married? Not!
            Have children? Not!
            Don't do it!
            right now i'm start psihoterapy,
            what should i do?
            where can i make those test?
            slowly i'm loosing control...


            --- In huntingtonsatrisk@yahoogroups.com, Rhonda Holscher
            <sawedoffrunt69@y...> wrote:
            > Ok here it is. I am facing a new avenue in life I guess you could
            say. Joe has been gone almost a year, and I am starting to get asked
            out. I have two dates with the same fellow, and am suppose to be
            going out this weekend with someone else.
            >
            > I am AtRisk. I have thus far decided not to be tested.
            But..........now that I am single and starting to date is it fair
            for me to not let them know if I should start to get serious with
            anyone. I mean I tell everyone right upfront my situation. I tell
            them everything from the get go, but I do not know if I have it.
            >
            > I have no financial resources available so I have no life
            insurance policies except for what Joe and I had started together,
            but I cannot be sure that he will keep those up or even if he has
            kept those up. At this time I am on Medicaid. If that gets taken
            away then I will not be able to find medical insurance either if I
            test and am positive. And so on so forth. You all know where this is
            going.
            >
            > What are your opinions?
            >
            > Is it fair to get involved with someone and not know if I am
            positive or not?
            > How can I see to it that I my butt is covered in other aspects if
            I test positive when I have no resources available to me?
            >
            > I know this has been discussed many times, but I'm asking again
            what your thoughts are.
            >
            > Rhonda
            >
            >
            > ---------------------------------
            > Do you Yahoo!?
            > Yahoo! Mail - now with 250MB free storage. Learn more.
          • Rhonda Holscher
            Susie, Thanks for you response. That is what I am doing. By the way I had another date tonight. It was not planned it was a last minute thing. So, I had to
            Message 5 of 6 , Mar 5 12:59 AM
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              Susie,
               
              Thanks for you response. That is what I am doing. By the way I had another date tonight. It was not planned it was a last minute thing. So, I had to take all the kids. This was our first date. His name is Dave and it went really well, and he wants to see me again tomorrow. How kool is that. I really liked him. I honestly never thought anyone would want to date me, and I cannot believe how much interest there is. I am so excited and happy to be out there dating again. I was soooooooooo nervous about it. I was especially worried about how Caleb would take it. Well, he is taking it way better than thought. Tonight while we were out Caleb asked me if Dave had any kids and I said yes. He wanted to know if he had daughters, cuz if he does I was not allowed to marry him so Caleb could go out with his daughter. LOL!! I thought that was cute. And the kids went out with us and both kids absolutely took Dave. It was so amazing to me. I just can't get over how excepting Caleb is being about me dating. He loves me and while he would really like to see his dad and I get back together he really wants me to happy, and totally cool with me dating. Isn't that awesome.
               
              Rhonda

              Sue Adams <angelrose@...> wrote:
              Rhonda, testing is your decision as you well know. It is something you have to be comfortable with and ready for. I don't see why you feel you have to know the results to go out with someone. If you tell them upfront from the get go it would be up to them to either question you about the disease, or to go look it up for them selves. This is what the dater should base his thoughts on. As we all know HD is no secret on the internet so there would be no lies there. And I don't see you candy coating your answers. So I say live your life to the fullest as you have been and just let them know you are at risk and go from there. If they are willing to be at your side through it all then live until you have to make a decision. If he takes a hike then he was not the one you wanted. The hurt will be there but you will also know how to wade through the dating game waters. If he sticks around so much the better for you! Go out Rhonda find someone you can depend on and let life take its course.
               
              Susie
               
               
              A Friend Is One Who Comes In When The Whole World Has Gone Out
              Cure Huntington's Disease

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            • Sue Adams
              Rhonda, I am glad to see things looking up for you! I hope this continues and everyone lives happily ever after! Susie Email: angelrose@centurytel.net Home
              Message 6 of 6 , Mar 5 7:17 AM
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                Rhonda, I am glad to see things looking up for you! I hope this continues and everyone lives happily ever after!
                Susie
                 
                 
                A Friend Is One Who Comes In When The Whole World Has Gone Out
                Cure Huntington's Disease
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