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Health In The News

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  • Stan Kegel
    From: Marsha Coleman Health in the News According to a national organization that studies obesity, nine of the fattest states in
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 7, 2008
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      From: Marsha Coleman <marsha1945@...>

      Health in the News

      According to a national organization that studies obesity, nine of the
      fattest states in America are in the lower third of the country. In
      other words, geographically, America has a fat ass. (Conan O'Brien)

      A study says that only half the people with chronic health conditions
      take their medication. Of course, those are the people who have health
      insurance. (Jim Barach)

      Doctors and hospitals have gone back to literally the Middle Ages for
      a cure they say works better than anything they have in modern
      medicine for post-operative blood coagulation. They are going back to
      flesh-eating maggots and blood-sucking leeches. Or as most people know
      them, HMOs. (Bill Maher)

      A new experimental contraceptive has been developed that not only
      prevents pregnancy, it prevents PMS. Doctors say this drug could end
      PMS. I believe it? s called "MBF," man's best friend. (Jay Leno)

      The New York Times says that emergency room visits due to accidents
      from cheer leading have more than doubled since the 1990's. And that's
      not even counting high schools and colleges. That's just Fox News
      reporters covering the White House. (Patrick Gorse)

      Purina has recalled its Alpo Prime Cuts and Del Monte recalled Gravy
      Train as the tainted pet food crisis spreads. It's getting serious.
      Last night the Secret Service made President Bush taste the dog food
      before they'd let Barney eat it. (Argus Hamilton)

      An "unprecedented epidemic of memory loss" is afflicting America's
      politicians, making it virtually impossible for them to remember key
      phone conversations, meetings, and memos, a spokesman for the world's
      leading brain scientists said today. The spokesman, Dr. Hiroshi
      Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo, said, "The question at hand is
      this: why are politicians so good at remembering contributors' names
      and phone numbers but so bad at remembering everything else?" (Andy
      Borowitz)
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