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I'd Really Like To Know

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  • Stan Kegel
    From: Paul Benoit I D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW Questions they forgot to ask [R] candidates during the Republican Debates
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 6, 2012
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      From: Paul Benoit <phyfendrum@...>

      I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW

      Questions they forgot to ask [R] candidates during the Republican Debates

      ___________________________________________

      Newt Gingrich:

      - Would you prefer that the United States bomb Iran now or do you want to get credit for starting that war yourself?

      - How many St. Ronald Reagans can fit on the head of a pin?

      - When will you endorse Jeb Bush?

      - What do I, as an American, have that a German, Dutch, English, Danish, Swedish, Spanish, etc, citizen does not.... except maybe, Snooki?

      - How will you decide which poor people's children to send to the moon colony/state to be their janitors?

      - There are many dictators around the world who are killing innocent people, including their own citizens. How come we only want to invade the ones with oil?

      - Mr. Speaker, was it Satan who forced you to appear tonight without ashes on your forehead, even though you know faithful Catholics always do that on Ash Wednesday?

      - If you knew or were convinced that 50+% of likely Republican voters believed in a woman's right to choose whether or not to either become or remain pregnant, would you rather support Planned Parenthood or lose the nomination?

      - Should we put the LGBT in camps? Or will it be sufficient to just deny equal marriage rights in order to prevent the fall of civilization as we know it?

      - Communist Jesus teaches that the poor, the hungry, and the wretched shall be blessed. Conservative Jesus teaches that you earned everything you have all by yourself and nobody else is entitled to any of it.

      - Who would win in a cage match between Communist Jesus and Conservative Jesus?

      ___________________________________________

      Ron Paul:

      - Is there a single item in the New Deal and Great Society programs that you would keep or would you prefer the slate to be wiped completely clean?

      - Would you please pee in this cup?

      - Should we continue to allow women to vote, as long as it's for whomever her husband decides?

      - The Dow Jones Industrial Average hit the 13,000 mark this week, the first time since mid-2008.... what can we do to stop this Socialism?

      - Rep. Paul, you have been called crazy by many; what do you believe is the craziest thing that each of the other candidates have spouted?

      ___________________________________________

      Mitt Romney:

      - How much more skewed do you think the ratio of economic inequality needs to become to make America world-class again?

      - When your father was President of American Motors, he turned down bonus pay because he said no one needed that much money. Why did you reject his lesson?

      - Will you agree to wear a lie detector tonight?

      - You governed Massachusetts as a moderate; you've spent the past several years, however, trying to convince your party that you're a lifelong conservative.... seeing how you've been unable to cement your status as front-runner, in spite of your ridiculous monetary advantages and the fact that this is your second time running for president -- not to mention your weak opposition -- would you like to come clean now and embrace your middle-of-the-road beliefs, or would you like to again claim you are the rightful heir to Ronald Reagan and give everyone here a hearty chuckle?

      - Would you like to disavow/clarify whatever you said before the commercial break?

      - Magic underwear or briefs?

      - You claim Mr.' s Gingrich and Santorum are lifelong politicians. However, the only reason you aren't one is because you kept losing elections, and when it was clear you wouldn't win again in Massachusetts, you didn't run. So, how is losing elections better than winning them?

      ___________________________________________

      Rick Santorum:

      - How much do you hate women? Enough to strip away their voting rights and what remains of their right to control their health care, or not?

      - Will you proposed legislation to replace the word "woman" with "carrying case" in all laws and government documents?

      - How much does your wife spend on aspirin?

      - The 1800s: Great or Greatest Century?

      - The Pope thinks spilling one's seed is an abomination; evangelicals believe it is simply another form of abortion. Should masturbation be criminalized? And is it still an abomination if you catch it in a cup or something?

      - Do you support putting microphones in everyone's bedrooms to monitor unauthorized non- procreative sexual activity, or are cameras enough?

      - Is it okay for married couples who can't have children to have sex? If so, why?

      - Have you now or have you ever had sex because you were horny?

      - When same sex marriage is fully adopted, how and when will humanity be destroyed?

      - Sen. Santorum, are you a religious fanatic and/or would you govern as one?

      - Will you defend my right to be an atheist, or will you support a Constitutional amendment to require a religious test for public office?

      - The Catholic Church opposes the death penalty in nearly all cases; why do you disagree with your church's stand on the death penalty?

      - Does God's law supercede U. S. laws and statutes? Yes or No answer only, please.

      - What are three things that prove the Democratic Party, and Barack Obama in particular, are on Satan's side?

      - How would you reorganize the Department of Defense to deal with the Satan Threat?

      - Have you personally seen Satan? Is he scary cool or scary ugly? Is he anywhere near my house?

      - What is the role of the federal government in battling demons? Should the CIA be looking for the antichrist? Should FEMA prepare for the Rapture? Should you have an atheist cabinet member to take over the Presidency after you're raptured away?

      - Does God wear sweater vests?

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