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The Costa Concordia

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  • Stan Kegel
    From: Jumbo Joke CRUISIN FOR A BRUISIN The recent disaster with the Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia reminds me of a comment made
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 29, 2012
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      From: Jumbo Joke <arcie@...>


      The recent disaster with the Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia reminds me of a comment made by Winston Churchill:
      After his retirement, Churchill was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner and some Italian journalists asked why an ex-British Prime Minister should chose an Italian ship.

      "There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship," said Churchill.

      "Yes?" said the journalists.

      "First, their cuisine is unsurpassed."

      "Oh yes!" agreed everyone within earshot.

      "Second, their service is superb!"

      "Indeed!" said the gathering crowd, all smiles. "And the third?" urged the closest newspaperman.

      "Well," Winnie said, "in time of emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first!"

      = = = = =

      According to Snopes:

      It is true that this quote appears in the book The Wit and Wisdom of Winston Churchill (and is also attributed to Churchill in a number of other books). Whether Churchill ever actually uttered these words is another matter, however. The same basic quip about someone's expressing a preference for a particular nationality of cruise line because they have "none of this nonsense about women and children first" can be found in a variety of other sources, attributed either to an unnamed wag or to one of several different personalities noted for their wit (e.g., Noel Coward,W. Somerset Maugham). As well, the nationality of the preferred cruise line varies from telling to telling, with French and Italian being the most prominent.

      = = = = =

      Other Costa Concordia jokes appearing on the internet:

      How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships?   - On the rocks

      What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships?   - Leeks

      What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship?   - Follow the captain

      When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."

      So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That's more than can be said for his ship.

      I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises.  Wet, wrecked and ready to go down.

      The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.

      What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?  Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.

      From Weakly Humerus News: 

      The NY Post may not usually appear on the list of America's top papers. But they do win the prize so far for the best headline on the Costa Concordia disaster- a picture of the captain on the front page of their paper edition with the caption "Chicken of the Sea." (Janice Hough) 

      The Captain of the Concordia now says he fell into the lifeboat. I think I like I cheated on my wife because of "how passionately I felt about this country" better. (Janice Hough)

      That Italian cruise ship captain is now saying he tripped and fell into one of the lifeboats. That old excuse didn't work when he got that girl pregnant, either. (Jerry Perisho)

      He miscalculated steering a ship, but he somehow managed to make a dead on calculation when taking a giant plunge into a tiny lifeboat. (Alex Schubert) 

      Thirty minutes after the Costa Concordia hit the rocks, the captain is heard insisting that his cruise ship only had a blackout. That's like Captain John Smith saying "it was only a little ice." (Janice Hough)

      A member of the Italian Coast Guard told the captain of that cruise ship, who had already abandoned ship, "Get on board, dammit" That, of course, is the same message the Romney campaign team is screaming at Republican voters. (Jerry Perisho) 

      According to an Italian newspaper, Costa Concordia Captain Schettino said to a judge that he miscalculated when steering the ship close to the island of Giglio to perform a sail-past salute to people onshore. But added "I’m a victim of my own kindness.” "A victim of his own kindness? I like "fell into the lifeboat" better. (Janice Hough)

      Let's hope it doesn't come out that the Captain called Rick Perry to ask the three things he should do in the event of a crash. (Janice Hough)

      The Costa Concordia cruise ship captain was arrested for abandoning the ship with passengers aboard. Two survivors said they were in the lounge watching a magician's act when the collision occurred. All they want to know is where the magician hid the ship. (Argus Hamilton) 

      That Italian captain is a regular Sully Sullenberger, isn't he? Instead of landing a plane on water, he landed a ship on rocks. 

      Costa Concordia Captain Schettino says, "I don't ever want to go back on ship." I think that can be arranged. (Janice Hough)

      New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee. (Bill Maher)

      More details are coming out about the Italian cruise ship disaster. It seems the chef on board the ship says the captain ordered dinner after the crash. And here's the worst part -- he ordered it to go. (Jay Leno)

      The Costa Concordia cruise ship remained capsized off the coast of Italy Friday after it struck a rock and turned sideways. International reaction was predictable. President Obama extended his sympathy to the passengers and blamed the accident on Captain Bush. (Argus Hamilton)

      I find it fascinating that your average automobile has a better navigation system than an Italian cruise ship. (David Letterman) 

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