Breaking News: GOP Candidates For President Unanimously Say They Do Not Believe In Earthquakes
- Rick Perry says he has never felt one, so concludes that scientists must be fabricating the data.
- Michelle Bachmann says only God would have the power to move the earth, but that they cannot be real because they are not mentioned in the Bible.
- Rick Santorum said it was hardly an earthquake, more like a frothy mix. (do not -- I repeat, do NOT -- google "santorum"!!)
- Ron Paul says that earthquakes are not consistent with the intent of the nation's founders, who included nothing about earthquakes in our Constitution.
- Mitt Romney apologized for once believing in earthquakes when he was governor of Massachusetts.
- Newt Gingrich opened a new account at Tiffany's, in case he's ever caught with more than one earthquake at a time.
- Sarah Palin -- who is still only a "possible" presidential candidate -- couldn't feel it from her porch so it must be a liberal media hoax, or a "gotcha" question. And if there WAS an earthquake, it was Obama's fault -- The Great Obama Fault Zone! -- just like everything else.
- Chris Christie- The office of Gov. Chris Christie [R-NJ] could not confirm that it was an actual earthquake, before asking Gov. Christie if it was just him jumping into the presidental race. (Author Unknown)