Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

310Weakly Humerus News 05-04-14 -- Part 1 -- Donald Sterling

Expand Messages
  • Stan Kegel
    May 4, 2014
    • 0 Attachment

      WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 05-04-14



      Donald Sterling made vile racist remarks that were audio recorded and made public. His mistake was that he didn't rap the lyrics, add a few n-words, and throw in some references to women as hos and bitches. Then, he could have been invited to the White House to perform for the president. (Phil G.)

      Donald Sterling’s wife Rochelle says that she owns half the team and she will not be selling. She also said that her estranged husband’s mistress V. Stiviano is welcome to bring as many blacks to the game as she wants - as long as she doesn’t bring that white guy Donald. (TC Chong) 

      The NBA has suspended Clippers owner Donald Sterling for life. Sterling’s supporters are arguing that he has owned the Clippers since 1981. Hasn’t he suffered enough? (Jim Barach) 

      Rush Limbaugh has a theory that Donald Sterling was setup by Magic Johnson so he could buy the Clippers for a song. Gee, would that song be, “That Old Black Magic”? (Bill Williams)

      Although Donald Sterling was banned for life by the NBA, he was elevated to Imperial Lizardstick by the KKK. (Will Durst) 

      The owner of the Los Angeles Clippers is quite the racist. I understand his whole klan is that way. (Tim Hunter) 

      Donald Sterling says the Clippers are not for sale. Although his problems all started because his girlfriend apparently is. (Jim Barach) 

      Right now every NBA fan here in Los Angeles knows there's a dark, ugly cloud of shame hanging over the Staples Center. But enough about the Lakers. There's also the Sterling thing. (Craig Ferguson) 

      Clippers owner Donald Sterling was caught on tape saying racist things to a woman. The NAACP was set to give him a second lifetime achievement award but rescinded the honor. I think that's a mistake. I think he should be forced to show up and accept the NAACP award. (Jimmy Kimmel)

      President Obama called Donald Sterling’s remarks “incredibly offensive”: And you know it’s bad when even Vladimir Putin says, "I hate to say it, but I am with Obama on this one.” (Dwight Perry) 

      After The President spoke out against Donald Sterling, Mr. Sterling has rescinded his invite for Obama to attend a Clippers game – and he also says to The President; “don’t try getting in the back door with V. Stiviano!” (TC Chong) 

      Donald Sterling did not attend Sunday’s playoff game between the Clippers and Warriors. Apparently, the game conflicted with a KKK rally. (Gary Bachman) 

      Clippers owner Donald Sterling was captured on tape saying very racist things to his girlfriend. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver handed down the toughest punishment possible. Friends say to help lift his spirits, Sterling has been watching '12 Years a Slave' in reverse.  (Jimmy Kimmel)  

      After racist comments by the owner of the L.A. Clippers, the singer who was supposed to sing the national anthem last night canceled, sponsors have been pulling out left and right. Even Kobe Bryant said, if gave him a commemorative Clippers basketball, he'd probably pass it. (Tim Hunter) 

      Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling's wife, Rochelle, is being accused of making racist remarks during an incident back in 2009. Sterling should break up with his girlfriend and go out with his wife. They're perfect for each other. (Jimmy Fallon) 

      There is no truth to the rumor that Donald Sterling is trying to purchase The Harlem Globetrotters. (TC Chong) 

      Anyone find it strangely poetic that a guy named Silver banned a guy named Sterling? (RJ Currie) 

      Donald Sterling has now been banned for life. That's ironic. This guy has been blacklisted (David Letterman) 
      NBA owners will get together to vote and perhaps force Sterling to sell his team. He originally bought the team for $12 million. And the market value of the Clippers now is $800 million. Ouch, that is going to sting, that $700 million profit. That'll teach him. (David Letterman) 

      Donald Sterling bought the Clippers for $12 million in 1981, potentially selling the team for $1 billion: “That’s a $988-million profit. Is this a great country or what? (Bill Littlejohn)  

      If the NBA really wants to punish Sterling, they should force him to sell the Clippers and buy the Milwaukee Bucks. (Tim Hunter) 

      The NBA has banned Clippers owner Donald Sterling for life. He's pretty old. They could've just said two years. It would have been the same thing. (Craig Ferguson) 

      The NBA has suspended Clippers owner Donald Sterling for life. Although being suspended for life when you are 80 is like being ticketed for double parking while you are robbing a bank. (Jim Barach) 

      The Clippers beat the Golden State Warriors last night in round one of the playoffs. They lead the series. The funny thing is if the Clippers win the NBA title, Donald Sterling will probably get another $100 million when he sells the team. (Jimmy Kimmel) '

      L. A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded on tape making racist comments. He now has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling wanted to end up -- on the blacklist. On the bright side, at least Sterling still has a wife and girlfriend to lean on. (Conan O'Brien) 

      You know, I'm old enough to remember when being banned for life from the L.A. Clippers would have been a compliment! (Tim Hunter) 

      Someone who doesn't want to associate with black people owning an NBA franchise is like a vegan buying a steakhouse. (Jimmy Kimmel) 

      Who says an old man can't have a learning experience. Donald Sterling, speaking to an interviewer about the V. Stiviano tapes: "I wish I had just paid her off." (Janice Hough) 

      The NBA has banned Donald Sterling for life for his racist comments. If Sterling has a problem with black people, maybe he should think about owning a hockey team. (Conan O'Brien) 

       If all these sponsors leaving the Clippers teach us anything it may be that the color that matters isn't black or white, but green.  (Janice Hough) 

      The L.A. Clippers protested their owner's racist remarks by wearing their uniforms inside-out. Meanwhile, the L.A. Lakers have been wearing their uniforms inside-out so no one would know they play for the Lakers. (Conan O'Brien)

      It is amazing an NBA owner, Donald Sterling, would turn out to be a huge racist; why, there hasn’t been an all-white basketball team since the Washington Generals lost 13,000 games in a row to the Harlem Globetrotters. (Alex Kaseberg)  

      Everyone agrees that Sterling should be forced to sell the team. I have a solution. I will buy the team. Donald Sterling, I will give you $5,000 in cash. Do with it whatever you want. Give it to the NAACP. Maybe they'll give you another award. (Jimmy Kimmel)

      The NAACP withdrew the NAACP Image Award it was about to award Donald Sterling at the group's banquet next month in Beverly Hills. It's all good. They're still going to honor Donald Sterling, only they'll be giving him The Reason We Still Need the NAACP Award instead. (Argus Hamilton) 

      Oprah Winfrey is reportedly interested in buying the LA Clippers. Now it's really become a soap Oprah. (RJ Currie) 

      Floyd Mayweather has expressed interest in buying the Clippers. This demonstrates what a mess this is. Someone from boxing who's been to jail and is a notorious gambler may be brought in to clean the organization up. (Brad Dickson)

      After his racist remarks, L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was banned for life yesterday by NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. He’s now being pressured to sell the team. Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. is interested in buying the team. Either that or he's lying just so he can get alone in a room with Donald Sterling.  (Jimmy Fallon) 

      If Donald Sterling gets suspended as an NBA owner will Clive Bundy offer him a job as a ranch hand? (Janice Hough) 

      Cliven Bundy is offering asylum to Donald Sterling (Dwight Perry) 

      Today Donald Trump called Sterling's remarks disgusting and his girlfriend a terrible human being. Then Trump said, 'And that's why I've invited them both to join the next season of 'Celebrity Apprentice. (Conan O'Brien)

      The Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling offered a ‘total and remorseful’ apology for his racist comments today, telling reporters, “Once I saw that Donald Trump was defending me, I knew I had done something horribly wrong. Look, I know I’m not perfect But when Donald Trump takes your side, you have to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, ‘Have I become some kind of monster?’”  (Andy Borowitz)

      Compiled by Stan Kegel mailto:skegel@...