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185Hoe They Found Bin Laden

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  • Stan Kegel
    May 4, 2011
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      From: Jumbo Joke <arcie@...>


      To all my HOA Friends:

      As a President of an HOA (Home Owners Association), I belong to the world-wide society of HOA Presidents which includes several Associations in Pakistan. In Pakistan, they refer to them as PPOA's (Pakistan Property Owners Association).

      I received an e-mail from the PPOA President in the subdivision where bin Laden had his compound. The PPOA's Tribunal of Directors were at their wits end trying to get him to comply and finally had no choice but to report him.

      The telephone call was intercepted and, well, you know the rest of the story.

      The reasons were as follows:

      (1) The Brick wall did not meet the requirements:
      (A) Color was not an approved builder color.
      (B) The height exceeded the maximum allowed.

      (2) The barbed wire was not of an approved material.

      (3) The guns the guards patrolling the wall were fully automatic. 
      Only semi-automatic or single-shot weapons are permitted

      (4) The rocket launchers were Russian made. Due to treaty provisions, 
      only American made rockets are allowed.

      (5) Electric entrance fences are not permitted to be electrified since they 
      can be harmful to small children and pets.

      (6) Noise:
      (A) Generators exceeded the noise level permissible.
      (B) Gunfire after 9:00 pm is not permitted.

      (7) The house exceeds the following:
      (A) maximum height allowed for the lot size.
      (B) maximum square footage allowed for the lot size.

      (8) A requirement to have windows on all sides of the structure was not adhered to. 
      We do not recognize the decorating style of "modern cave".

      (9) Landscaping does not match the approved landscaping guidelines.

      The HOA President was also upset on a personal level because on several occasions bin Laden refused to participate in the annual block parties.

      Any one of these violations is enough to generate a letter requiring remedial action within 10 days. Three or more violations is cause for immediate action. Sorry, but according to covenants and deed restrictions, we were compelled to act as the violations mounted. (Author Unknown