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Open Letter To Dr. Laura

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  • Jerry Weiss
    A friend sent me this.  I ve seen it before but it s certainly worth another read.  If you think it as funny as I do, you may want to forward it along. Jer
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 5, 2010
      A friend sent me this.  I've seen it before but it's certainly worth another read.  If you think it as funny as I do, you may want to forward it along.


      Open Letter To Dr. Laura

      In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox
      Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and
      cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

      The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a Professor at 
      University of Virginia (see below), and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as 
      well as informative:

      Dear Dr. Laura:

      Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
      learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
      many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
      lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
      states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

      I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of
      God's Laws and how to follow them.
      1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
      provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
      claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
      Why can't I own Canadians?

      2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
      21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

      3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
      period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I
      know? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

      4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
      pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
      claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

      5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
      clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
      him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

      6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
      abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
      don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

      7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
      defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
      vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

      8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
      their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How
      should they die?

      9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
      unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

      10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
      crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
      different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
      and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
      of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.

      Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do
      with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

      I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
      expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

      Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
      Your adoring fan,
      James M. Kauffman
      Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
      Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
      University of Virginia

      PS - (It would be a damned shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)


      The Yank 






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