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Re: [hr100] Terms and acronyms

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  • Julie Nelson
    Gordon, your post made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the boost! Julie Nelson
    Message 1 of 2 , Apr 3, 2003
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      Gordon, your post made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the boost!

      Julie Nelson

      Gordon Hardman wrote:

      >Watching the war in Iraq, I have been struck by how careful
      >the commentators are to explain all the terms so that the
      >public can understand what is going on. It occurred to me
      >that it has been some time since we updated the Hardrock
      >list of terms and acronyms. With that in mind, I offer the
      >following short list, that may help to keep our image up
      >with the times, especially since there is some apparent
      >overlap between our terms and the currently fashionable
      >military ones. Keep in mind that while Bolder Boulder 10K
      >runners shop for gear in the back of Runners World,
      >Hardrockers shop for gear in the back of Soldier of Fortune
      >magazine.
      >
      >Chemical Agent: Ibuprofen. Nifedipine. Those strange white
      >lumps that Blake eats.
      >
      >Biological Agent: Any of the family of pressed-turd bars.
      >Gordon's dried sausage jerky. Reasonably fresh roadkill.
      >
      >Chem-Bio Suit: A goretex shell with Ibuprofen in one pocket,
      >and a pressed-turd bar in the other.
      >
      >Collateral Damage: What your puking, abandoned pacer becomes
      >when you leave his dying ass on the side of Handies.
      >
      >Terrain-following-mode: Hands and knees along a ridge
      >because of lightning, exposure etc.
      >
      >Non-Combatant: Anyone (except the CEC) not associated with
      >the run.
      >
      >Asymetrical Tactics: Telling your buddy's crew at an aid
      >station that your buddy is at least a half hour ahead of you,
      >causing them to panic and hare off to the next aid station.
      >You know your buddy will arrive about 5 minutes after they
      >leave.
      >
      >EPW: Enraged. Pissed. Wrathful. What your buddy will become
      >in about 5 minutes when he discovers you have been engaged
      >in asymetrical tactics.
      >
      >Strategic Redeployment: What you should do when your buddy
      >goes EPW.
      >
      >Credo: Be professional. Be polite. But be prepared to trip
      >any SOB who has the gall to pass you.
      >
      >Forward Air Drop: What happens if you trip while running
      >down Bear Creek. Sometimes caused by failure to revert to
      >terrain-following-mode. Frequently terminal.
      >
      >Coalition of the Willing: The mob that Charlie leads over
      >the tundra while course marking.
      >
      >Regime Change: Discovering that Rick Ryan has been
      >tranferred sideways, and is no longer our BLM contact.
      >
      >Topple: What all runners do after kissing the Hardrock, and
      >many of us long before that.
      >
      >So, if your pacer fails to revert to terrain-following-mode
      >and has executed a forward air drop, thereby becoming
      >collateral damage, you may want to consider executing a
      >strategic redeployment before his family goes EPW and
      >exposes you to possible asymetrical tactics. I am sure we
      >could pepper the runners manual with gems of advice like
      >this.
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >--
      >Gordon Hardman
      >
      >V.P., Chief Technical Officer email:
      >geh@...
      >CrossLink Inc. phone:
      >303.473.9232 x101
      >6185 Arapahoe Ave. fax:
      >303.473.9660
      >Boulder, CO 80303 W├śRUN
      >
      >***************************************************************************************
      >
      >we shall go
      > Always a little further: it may be
      >Beyond the last blue mountain barred with snow,
      > Across that angry or that glimmering sea
      >
      >James Elroy Flecker "The Golden Journey to Samarkand"
      >
      >"The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that
      >you'll grow out of it."
      > Doris Day
      >
      >***************************************************************************************
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
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