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Terms and acronyms

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  • Gordon Hardman
    Watching the war in Iraq, I have been struck by how careful the commentators are to explain all the terms so that the public can understand what is going on.
    Message 1 of 2 , Mar 31, 2003
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      Watching the war in Iraq, I have been struck by how careful
      the commentators are to explain all the terms so that the
      public can understand what is going on. It occurred to me
      that it has been some time since we updated the Hardrock
      list of terms and acronyms. With that in mind, I offer the
      following short list, that may help to keep our image up
      with the times, especially since there is some apparent
      overlap between our terms and the currently fashionable
      military ones. Keep in mind that while Bolder Boulder 10K
      runners shop for gear in the back of Runners World,
      Hardrockers shop for gear in the back of Soldier of Fortune
      magazine.

      Chemical Agent: Ibuprofen. Nifedipine. Those strange white
      lumps that Blake eats.

      Biological Agent: Any of the family of pressed-turd bars.
      Gordon's dried sausage jerky. Reasonably fresh roadkill.

      Chem-Bio Suit: A goretex shell with Ibuprofen in one pocket,
      and a pressed-turd bar in the other.

      Collateral Damage: What your puking, abandoned pacer becomes
      when you leave his dying ass on the side of Handies.

      Terrain-following-mode: Hands and knees along a ridge
      because of lightning, exposure etc.

      Non-Combatant: Anyone (except the CEC) not associated with
      the run.

      Asymetrical Tactics: Telling your buddy's crew at an aid
      station that your buddy is at least a half hour ahead of you,
      causing them to panic and hare off to the next aid station.
      You know your buddy will arrive about 5 minutes after they
      leave.

      EPW: Enraged. Pissed. Wrathful. What your buddy will become
      in about 5 minutes when he discovers you have been engaged
      in asymetrical tactics.

      Strategic Redeployment: What you should do when your buddy
      goes EPW.

      Credo: Be professional. Be polite. But be prepared to trip
      any SOB who has the gall to pass you.

      Forward Air Drop: What happens if you trip while running
      down Bear Creek. Sometimes caused by failure to revert to
      terrain-following-mode. Frequently terminal.

      Coalition of the Willing: The mob that Charlie leads over
      the tundra while course marking.

      Regime Change: Discovering that Rick Ryan has been
      tranferred sideways, and is no longer our BLM contact.

      Topple: What all runners do after kissing the Hardrock, and
      many of us long before that.

      So, if your pacer fails to revert to terrain-following-mode
      and has executed a forward air drop, thereby becoming
      collateral damage, you may want to consider executing a
      strategic redeployment before his family goes EPW and
      exposes you to possible asymetrical tactics. I am sure we
      could pepper the runners manual with gems of advice like
      this.





      --
      Gordon Hardman

      V.P., Chief Technical Officer email:
      geh@...
      CrossLink Inc. phone:
      303.473.9232 x101
      6185 Arapahoe Ave. fax:
      303.473.9660
      Boulder, CO 80303 WØRUN

      ***************************************************************************************

      we shall go
      Always a little further: it may be
      Beyond the last blue mountain barred with snow,
      Across that angry or that glimmering sea

      James Elroy Flecker "The Golden Journey to Samarkand"

      "The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that
      you'll grow out of it."
      Doris Day

      ***************************************************************************************
    • Julie Nelson
      Gordon, your post made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the boost! Julie Nelson
      Message 2 of 2 , Apr 3, 2003
      • 0 Attachment
        Gordon, your post made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the boost!

        Julie Nelson

        Gordon Hardman wrote:

        >Watching the war in Iraq, I have been struck by how careful
        >the commentators are to explain all the terms so that the
        >public can understand what is going on. It occurred to me
        >that it has been some time since we updated the Hardrock
        >list of terms and acronyms. With that in mind, I offer the
        >following short list, that may help to keep our image up
        >with the times, especially since there is some apparent
        >overlap between our terms and the currently fashionable
        >military ones. Keep in mind that while Bolder Boulder 10K
        >runners shop for gear in the back of Runners World,
        >Hardrockers shop for gear in the back of Soldier of Fortune
        >magazine.
        >
        >Chemical Agent: Ibuprofen. Nifedipine. Those strange white
        >lumps that Blake eats.
        >
        >Biological Agent: Any of the family of pressed-turd bars.
        >Gordon's dried sausage jerky. Reasonably fresh roadkill.
        >
        >Chem-Bio Suit: A goretex shell with Ibuprofen in one pocket,
        >and a pressed-turd bar in the other.
        >
        >Collateral Damage: What your puking, abandoned pacer becomes
        >when you leave his dying ass on the side of Handies.
        >
        >Terrain-following-mode: Hands and knees along a ridge
        >because of lightning, exposure etc.
        >
        >Non-Combatant: Anyone (except the CEC) not associated with
        >the run.
        >
        >Asymetrical Tactics: Telling your buddy's crew at an aid
        >station that your buddy is at least a half hour ahead of you,
        >causing them to panic and hare off to the next aid station.
        >You know your buddy will arrive about 5 minutes after they
        >leave.
        >
        >EPW: Enraged. Pissed. Wrathful. What your buddy will become
        >in about 5 minutes when he discovers you have been engaged
        >in asymetrical tactics.
        >
        >Strategic Redeployment: What you should do when your buddy
        >goes EPW.
        >
        >Credo: Be professional. Be polite. But be prepared to trip
        >any SOB who has the gall to pass you.
        >
        >Forward Air Drop: What happens if you trip while running
        >down Bear Creek. Sometimes caused by failure to revert to
        >terrain-following-mode. Frequently terminal.
        >
        >Coalition of the Willing: The mob that Charlie leads over
        >the tundra while course marking.
        >
        >Regime Change: Discovering that Rick Ryan has been
        >tranferred sideways, and is no longer our BLM contact.
        >
        >Topple: What all runners do after kissing the Hardrock, and
        >many of us long before that.
        >
        >So, if your pacer fails to revert to terrain-following-mode
        >and has executed a forward air drop, thereby becoming
        >collateral damage, you may want to consider executing a
        >strategic redeployment before his family goes EPW and
        >exposes you to possible asymetrical tactics. I am sure we
        >could pepper the runners manual with gems of advice like
        >this.
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >--
        >Gordon Hardman
        >
        >V.P., Chief Technical Officer email:
        >geh@...
        >CrossLink Inc. phone:
        >303.473.9232 x101
        >6185 Arapahoe Ave. fax:
        >303.473.9660
        >Boulder, CO 80303 WØRUN
        >
        >***************************************************************************************
        >
        >we shall go
        > Always a little further: it may be
        >Beyond the last blue mountain barred with snow,
        > Across that angry or that glimmering sea
        >
        >James Elroy Flecker "The Golden Journey to Samarkand"
        >
        >"The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that
        >you'll grow out of it."
        > Doris Day
        >
        >***************************************************************************************
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
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