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Real Men/Women of Genius #105

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  • The Troubadour
    [Today I have a plumber fixing LEAKS downstairs which naturally, uh, reminded me of this :] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 16 12:58 PM
      [Today I have a plumber fixing LEAKS downstairs which naturally, uh,
      reminded me of this :]

      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. NYC Marathon Starter on the Verrazano-Narrows
      Bridge Upper Deck and Pee-er.

      {"Ittttt's like my eeeeeeeeee-mer-gen-cy esssssssssss-scape valve!"}

      Relieving yourself, are you? Feelin' better? Can't possibly make it to the
      porta-potties and back in line in time, so you're DOIN' IT RIGHT THERE?

      {"Therrrrrrrrrre's nevvvvvvvvvv-er eeeeeeeeee-nough of them

      How clever. You and about a thousand other frantic
      jumper-arounders-and-clutchers-of-crotch. The gun won't go off for at least
      another twenty minutes, so in the meantime--as we do suppose--if a man's
      gotta go, he's gotta go.

      {"Sommmmmmme-b-b-b-body's alllllllllllll-ways hog-ging the
      pot-ty-in-front-of meeeeeeeeeee!"}

      We expect it. Your "thousand closest friends" expect it. Maybe even ALL
      those on the *upper* deck expect it.

      {"So wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre am I sup-posed to

      But those below? Not so much. There may be more than ten thousand of your
      soon-to-be worst enemies standing in line on the lower deck of the
      Verrazano-Narrows Bridge who might NOT be all that enthused over kinky
      treats like "golden showers."

      {EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!! That's sooooooooooooo gross!!!}

      And you will be careful--won't you?--of those VERY expensive shoes on the
      guy standing next to you. If you have to splash, you'll try for direct hits
      only on your own shoes, we're sure. Or, you could squeeze your way over to
      the railing and shoot your finest shots right over the side...to all the
      doubtless countless cheers of those below, standing at *their* railing.

      {"Maaaaaaaaaaaaay-beeeeeeeeeee they should run bare-foot?"}

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light right after your race, O Clever Mister
      Whizzer, because the "relief" you let fly with...might not actually make it
      onto those other runners' shoes. No, it could end up showering the head and
      shoulders of **SHE** who happens, unfortunately, to be squatting downwind.

      {Mis-terrrrrrrrrr N-Y-C Marrr-a-thon Starrrrr-ter on the
      Ver-ra-zan-o-Nar-rows Bridddddddge Up-perrrrr Deck and Peeeeeeeeee-err!!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your 800-year-old always hydrating lute-plucking
      singing-and-dancing-and-now-wildly-upstairs-crotch-holding waiter on the
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/).

      Check out this new outlet:


      Yankee Folly of The Day:
      Waterproofing the basement of your 100-year-old house in the "historic
      district" costs ten thousand four hundred and zero one-hundredths dollars,
      plus six-twenty-five for the plumber to rearrange all your drains. This is
      a public service announcement for y'all to become either Rebels or Rednecks
      and move your sad and sorry poor butts to Florida, where there are no
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