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Real Men/Women of Genius #103

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  • The Troubadour
    [Continuing along with this week s tradition of peeps nominating other peeps for the treatment, we, uh, now have the following, um, thing as nominated or
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 19 3:40 PM
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      [Continuing along with this week's "tradition" of peeps nominating other
      peeps for "the treatment," we, uh, now have the following, um, "thing" as
      nominated or suggested by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Can't
      blame the person. I'd do this anonymously, too, but then peeps would start
      recognizing *me* all over this as being the butt of the joke. Wouldn't want
      that. I'm already the butt of all other known jokes throughout the known
      universe; so, no need to be layin' these here bad babies on me, too, eh? ;]

      Bud Light presents...


      REAL MEN OF GENIUS

      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Grandstanding
      My-Anything's-Better-Than-Your-Everything Thereby Making-Me-Better-Than-You.

      {"Eeeeeeeeee-ven my air is bet-ter than your airrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"}

      You're a triathlete, so your ride is a titanium flyweight super-cycle that
      costs twelve thousand dollars. You're also an ultrarunner, so you have one
      of each of the top of every line of everything, which also costs twelve
      thousand dollars. Everyone else just wears huaraches and sackcloth, lives
      in a trailer park, and runs on pavement covered with glass shards and beer
      cans. The entire known universe is "worser" than you.

      {"Caaaaaaan't wait un-til to-mor-row, 'cuzzzzzzz
      I-get-bet-ter-look-ing-ev-err-y-daaaaaaaay!"}

      No one else's humble opinion could possibly be "humbler" than yours. No one
      else's method "varies" quite like yours does. No one else's facts jive with
      your "truth," and if they go so far as to try and actually *prove* something
      by citing a website and posting its hyperlink? Fuhgeddaboudit. Only you
      can tell them that the website's facts are faulty, its references obscure
      and no longer valid, and that hyperlink is broken--or at least it doesn't
      work on YOUR computer.

      {Yes! Your
      doub-ble-in-su-la-ted-chem-i-cal-ly-fil-tered-bot-an-i-cal-ly-friend-ly
      hyyyy-dra-tion sys-tem IS su-pee-ri-orrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!}

      You have the last word on absolutely everything. No one else need opine,
      comment, apply, protest, or go into debt researching the actual truth to the
      ends of the earth. No. We should all just shut up, unfurl our prayer rugs,
      and prostrate ourselves towards whichever direction your argument is
      heading, because we just cannot possibly win. You are--or certainly by
      universal acclaim SHOULD BE--our god. Just please save us from our own
      ignorance and eternal damnation in the slough of despond, Valley of Death,
      or being DFL at the back of the pack.

      {Ifffffff you were a pre-cious stone, we'd have youuu moun-ted and
      pubbbbb-lic-ly kiss you on the grass!}

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Chairman of the Board of Absolutely
      Everything, and have it all to yourself; because, as the Lesser God Almighty
      already knows, there just ain't no winning of arguments with you. Even HE
      would need to make another whole chilled case of quarts magically appear out
      of thin, albeit inferior, air--just to pay off His lost wager, have you tell
      Him how good or bad It (or He) is, where it was brewed and at what pace and
      heartrate, and just how long it'll retain its core temperature while running
      in heat through the desert downhill out of the bottle.

      {Mis-terrrrrrrrr Graaaaaaaand-staaaan-ding
      My-An-y-thing's-Bet-ter-Than-Your-Ev-er-y-thing Therrre-by
      Maaaa-king-Meeeee-Bet-ter-Than-You!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it, how, or at what
      temperature; we just dig their commercials.


      ( O_O )


      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      TheTroubadour@...
      "your 800-year-old probably godless lute-plucking song-and-dance man from
      France"
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/).

      Check out this new outlet:
      http://www.trailrunevents.com/ul/stories.asp.

      Resource:
      http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php.

      Yankee Folly of The Day:
      You don't suppose, do you, that the entire economy of the United States is
      based on a ponzi scheme?
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