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Real Men/Women of Genius #100

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  • The Troubadour
    [R-mog and/or R-m/wog is late today, sorry, on accounta WAY MORE IMPORTANT and IMPRESSIVE reportings of REAL achievements. Like, dig: Lisa Bliss is now the
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 29, 2011
      [R-mog and/or R-m/wog is late today, sorry, on accounta WAY MORE IMPORTANT
      and IMPRESSIVE reportings of REAL achievements. Like, dig: Lisa Bliss is now
      the first-woman-EVER to run an entire solo/unaided Badwater-like crossing
      from the lowest point of elevation within these 48 contiguous United States
      to the highest point (Mt. Whitney)--a HOT Death Valley distance of 146
      continuous miles, which, we believe, took her some 87 hours to accomplish;
      and all the while she rolled everything she needed inside a custom-made
      cart. IT, by the way, started out weighing over 200 pounds, while she--at
      all of 95 pounds soaking wet with both pockets full of quarters--started out
      at something less. A disadvantage, perhaps, when you consider that the
      journey is ALL UPHILL!!! Wow. But she shoved it "up there" anyway.
      Congratulations, Lisa! So maybe now what we'd like to do is poke fun at the
      "genius" behind the whole Badwater event in the first place--but we haven't
      the heart to do that. It's all good. Instead, let's pick on some body my
      own size (and competence level). :-]

      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Unrelenting Corrector of All Error, Both Written
      and Spoken, Indoors and Out.

      {Whaaaaaaaat did weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee write wrong thissssssssss time?}

      You post on the listserv following somebody else's post: "This totally
      wrong. You did had missed this impotant fact which your always be careful
      look up beforehand you post such nonsense." My God, man, this is the New
      English? *This* is "how it's supposed to be" according to "how you tell us
      *it* isn't"? According to YOU?

      {Haaaaaaaave you ev-er bothhh-ered to proooooooof-read your-owwwwn-words?}

      We have run behind you and listened with rapt attention while you instructed
      your companion in the error of her way also. "No, you're a supinator," you
      say, "not a pronator. You need to buy extra support shoes, like racing

      {Ohhhh myyyyy gawk! You-arrrrrrrrrrrrre-to-tal-lyyyyyyy-cluuuuuuuuue-less!}

      Why not Vibram FiveFingers? If you correct the error of her way long
      enough, she just might try rollerblades and do laps with a jerry can of
      gasoline around your house. Strike up a match?

      {"May-be-I-like-my-err-rorrrrrrrrrrrs! I'm beat-ing YOURRRRRRR butt,
      arrrrrrrn't I?"}

      You correct people's research, you correct people's opinions, you even
      correct their spelling--and we've heard you do THAT even by mouth out on the
      trail. "You opened a new account at Fifth Third Bank?" you ask. "How do
      you spell that?" you continue. And when your poor running companion
      proffers a bad guess, you POUNCE. Of course, it's then that we realize you
      can't spell this Gen-X's too "kewl" overly hyped bank name either.

      {"I thiiiiiiiiiiiiink it has an ir-ra-tion-al fraaaaaaaaaaaaaac-tion in

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Mister Mathmagic of the Encyclopaedia
      Britannica, and offer a cool swig to your hot companion, because when you
      finish the event and want to post your "race report," we can only hope
      you'll misspell the listserv's address and spare us--Thank You,
      Cheeses--from having to suffer through yet another in a never-ending stream
      of ten thousand holier-than-thou posts which, quite frankly, we'd all feel
      ten thousand times better doing without.

      {Mis-terrrrr Unn-ree-lenn-ting Corrr-rrrec-torrr of ALL Er-rorrr, Both
      Writt-ten and Spo-ken, Inn-doors and Ouuuut!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your 800-year-old French-language-using lute-plucking song-and-dance maker
      of all error all ways in the first place"
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/).

      Book Review:

      Better Resource:

      Yankee Folly of The Day:
      Never mind French. Starting Tuesday we're all going to have to start
      learning Chinese.
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