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Real Men/Women of Genius #96

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  • The Troubadour
    [Caution: This in no way refers to our most beloved newest newlywed Paige Dunmore, who *may* have misperceived some sort of veiled threat (ha ha) that on
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 24, 2011
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      [Caution: This in no way refers to our most beloved newest newlywed Paige
      Dunmore, who *may* have misperceived some sort of "veiled threat" (ha ha)
      that on this particular Friday she might find herself being written about
      here. But no. She is much too young. But--if she continues to plan
      anything running-club-related like she handled the non-publicity surrounding
      her own wedding--in another 30 years she'll qualify. :-) Keep smiling,
      everyone! Hey, it's Bad Joke Friday!!]

      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we raise our goblet to you, Mrs. Go-To Arranger of All Events Related
      to Your Running Club.

      {Misssssus "How in the Worrrrrrrrrrrr-rld Did-Weee-E-ver-Get-A-long With-out

      Only you could schedule an upcoming 25-mile group long run, point-to-point
      from the mountains to the prairie, by spotting *one* Volkswagen Beetle at
      the terminus to haul *all* your thirty-odd club members back to the
      trailhead. But then on your appointed Saturday, three more vanloads show up
      at the start.

      {"We'rrrrrrrre skinnnnnnn-ny; weeeeeeeeeee can squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze in!"}

      Peeps text or phone you for advice all the time, calling upon your
      leadership skills, completely expecting you to lead them to the Promised
      Land--especially along new trails that even you haven't ever seen before.
      This doesn't stop you, of course, from giving your advice.

      {"It's bettttttt-ter for long runs to uuuuuuuuuuuuse on-lyyyy hand-helds!"}

      And your advice and planning skills run the gamut from carpooling to races,
      to pizza parties celebrating this year's Boston qualifiers. Except you
      sometimes forget gasoline for your Beetle and invite marathoners who haven't
      qualified for Boston since 1966. Meanwhile the party venue turns out to be
      "closed for remodeling" and no one from your club has in fact run a marathon
      this year. They are all still stuck out there in the prairie, at your long
      run's terminus, waiting for a ride.

      {"Sommmmmmmmmmmmmmme day our prinnnnnnnnnnnnce will come!"}

      Special occasions? Needing your help and advice? Please. Just say no. We
      realize no one else could possibly do it like you can, but maybe have your
      club members call "Ghostbusters" instead. They'll do them just as much
      good, and prevent future social disasters from haunting their memory for
      decades to come.

      {"Whoooo ya gon-na cawlllllllllll?"}

      But go ahead anyway and pop that cork out of your special
      running-club-discounted bottle of White Zinfandel--arranged by you at the
      liquor store--O Mrs. Group-On Susie, and try to get everybody to drink some
      before anybody discovers that, once again, you're expecting 250 milliliters
      of fluids to hydrate seventy-five members of your club.

      {Misssssssus Go-To A-rraaaaaan-ger of Alllllllllll E-vents Reeee-laaa-ted to
      Your Runnnn-ning Club!!}

      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather
      guzzle beer.

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your fiendishly non-accommodating mid-evil lute-and-opportunity-plucking
      non-chauffeuring club member from France"
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/).

      Book Review:

      Better Resource:

      Yankee Folly of The Day:
      In my own local (Indiana) running club, if it weren't for the women
      shouldering ALL the responsibilities, the club would cease to exist. It
      makes us wonder yet again, besides plucking, just what in the heck ARE men
      good for anyway? For ideas, take another look at the United States
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