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Real Men/Women of Genius #95

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  • The Troubadour
    Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Alter-Ego Inventor and Pseudonymous Poster to the Listserv.
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 17, 2011
      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Alter-Ego Inventor and Pseudonymous Poster to the

      {Wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrre do yoooooooooou come up with this stufffffffff?}

      Please. "Bumpshack"? "Raw Vegetables Runner"? "Human Sacrifice"? Isn't
      it enough that there's already three thousand strangers subscribing to this
      whacky cybertronic chatroom in the first place, without having to disguise
      yourself further by signing off as the "Pit Viper"?

      {Whoa! The snaaaaaaaaaaaaaake has alllllllllllll the

      "Henry Speir"? Henry Speir DIED in 1972. He was some white dude that
      helped black blues peeps grab long green. The names of his clients
      themselves should make all pseudonymous imposters such as your own clever
      self drool: Ishman, Son House, Blind Roosevelt, Skip, Bo, Willie, and the
      Mississippi Sheiks--to name just a few.

      {"Buttttttttttttttttt I was oooooooon-ly ma-kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing a point!"}

      We have also been treated to outside-the-species phony I.D.'s. We've seen
      posts by "the parrot" and "the mule" and even at one time by a "polar bear."
      Now we're being told some pitbull named "big" and his dubious sidekick named
      "little" supposedly write blogs.

      {Annnnnnnnd don't-for-get-all-those-"goats"--"moun-tain," "speeeed," "old,"
      "I got-chur," and "millllllllllllllllk"!!}

      We'd like to give you the credit for being so inventive and coming up with
      this phoniness all by yourself, but we think you have help. We're guessing
      the whole secret lies in being computer-savvy enough to fool Google Mail
      into giving you a whole 'nother account. Then you and your cool ilk all try
      to out-do one another by fooling the rest of us into wondering just who in
      the hell y'all are.

      {We-think-you're-a-ran-dom-ly-gen-er-a-ted-pro-gram-ming ex-am-ple of
      ar-ti-fi-ci-al in-tel-li-gennnnnnce!}

      It's like when we were kids and comic book artists all thought nobody could
      possibly tell--when the "character" and his, her, or its "alter ego" NEVER
      appeared in the same panel together--that just by darkening-in a tiny "mask"
      around the eyes, they could always fool us into never "getting" that Green
      Lantern was Alan Scott.

      {Dooonn't for-get Bat-man-and-Boy-Won-der, whose sex-u-al o-ri-en-ta-tions
      we've allllll-ways "won-dered" our-sellllllllves!!!}

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Author-Wannabe of "All Things Bright
      and Beautiful," and chug it down before we get the next edition of our
      listserv's "Digest" with you in it, if you're lucky. Because otherwise?
      Your cyber savvy is so well disguised that you'll even fool the computer!
      If we don't find you among the List's usual postings, we'll most likely
      locate your genius in that other folder labeled "SPAM."

      {Misssssss-terrrrr Al-ter-E-go In-vennnnnn-tor and Pseud-on-y-mous

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your 800-year-old lute-plucking song-and-dance-man from France who once
      used the fake handle 'Devil's Advocate' or -'Food'--he forgets which."
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/).

      Book Review:

      Better Resource:

      Yankee Folly of The Day:
      We still think one of the best was by that guy who NEVER signed his name
      (which is required, BTW, by the Ultralist's own rules) but everybody knew
      his pseudonym by its first four letters: "Spam."
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