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THE MOST INTERESTING MAN/WOMAN IN THE WORLD (issue 50)

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  • The Troubadour
    [Yo, my peeps! Today s Wednesday is totally Positive!! It s June the First and also a very special person s birthday. I refer, of course, to Marilyn Monroe.
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 1, 2011
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      [Yo, my peeps! Today's Wednesday is totally Positive!! It's June the First
      and also a very special person's birthday. I refer, of course, to Marilyn
      Monroe. ( -_- ) Oops, just kidding--although she too was born on this day.
      Actually, we troubly would like to bestow some surely-to-be-resisted honor
      upon someone so recently posted about by both Nancy Shura and Dave Combs.
      She is Geri Kilgariff, she's been known by yours troubly since she was a
      mere pup of a 30-something, and I can't think of anyone more deserving today
      of "the treatment" than she is. Happy Frickin' B-Day, Ger! May all the
      banana peels of life be tossed *only* on the ground of somebody else's race!
      And now, here is the sum total of my morning's research:
      She's on LinkedIn...
      http://www.linkedin.com/pub/geri-kilgariff/a/4a1/18
      ...and Facebook but (so far?) no blog.
      You can find her (some of her) words here:
      http://www.acrosstheyears.com/kudos.html
      And here:
      http://www.ultrunr.com/crew.html
      And most recently here:
      http://www.azcentral.com/health/fitness/articles/2010/11/23/20101123hiking-i
      n-the-hoodoos.html
      Here's her picture:
      http://www.dclundell.net/photography/running/2004-10-30_javelina_100/IMG_317
      6.JPG.html
      Or, how 'bout dys won:
      http://www.pbase.com/lbliss/image/35843073
      And here, despite the fact that she is very much alive, is her "memorial
      bench":
      https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/DKUrrKn8THO0I-6guKIBMQ
      It reads: "Geri Kilgariff, Founder / 'Javelina Jundred' est. 2003 / Thank
      you for your contribution to / Arizona Ultrarunning."]



      Although she rarely wears one, she has been known to found brand-new races
      at the drop of a hat. She will also make you bend over and pick it up.

      "Moderation" isn't a word in her vocabulary. She still holds out hope,
      however, that one day she'll gaze at it in her gazetteer.

      She coined the term "washing machine loops," basically to describe the
      trail-running sequence necessary to follow throughout her famous Javelina
      Jundred, a hundred-mile footrace having absolutely nothing to do with Texaco
      Havoline Motor Oil. Or Spanish-named wild boars. Or, for that matter,
      washing machines.

      Another one of her inventions was called "the best ass award." It required
      runners who wished to contest for such a thing to turn around, face New
      Jersey, and pull down their shorts. Any underwear underneath was an
      immediate disqualifier. Painted cheeks with writing on them could often
      sway the judges. The winning runner would generally be given the first
      prize of a fresh banana.

      The runner-up, and therefore an ass that didn't count, would usually be some
      kind of fruity instrument-plucking troubadour.

      Dropping the banana on the ground, however, meant instant disqualification
      and being barred from all future races. Anyone else plucking up the fallen
      fruit could never be sure of being given first prize in place of that first
      fruity fruit chucker.

      An absolute fitness fanatic, she has been timed in her 24-hour health club
      operating an elliptical trainer for more than 12 hours before going to work.
      During that time she read "War and Peace," "Ulysses," "Anna Karenina," and
      an entire decade's worth of Mad Magazines.

      She claims to have no knee cartilage left, so she has injected her joints
      with foam rubber insulation and just keeps going and going and going and
      going and....

      She's served as an inspiration to most women and all men who have had the
      good fortune of running with her when she still did indeed have knees.

      And her memorial bench was rather short-sightedly dedicated to her memory
      some time before her resurrection from the dead. She has been thriving ever
      since.

      She is THE MOST INTERESTING WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

      "I don't always kick ass and take names; but when I do, I prefer the
      stripper to be in my contest. Stay flexible, my friends."



      ( 00 )
      V



      See (and hear) some originals:

      http://dosequis.com/

      Also here:

      http://tinyurl.com/DosEquisAd
      [and thanks to UltraJohn Price--our latest Transcontinental
      first-prize-winning champion--for supplying this in place of that former
      long and always-broken hyperlink].

      My mark:

      XX
      Rich Limacher
      TheTroubadour@...
      ("an 800-year-old lute-plucker, male stripper, and French song-and-dance-man
      who probably first met Geri 400 years ago" :-).

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      Once she reads this, yours troubly will be expecting a letter bomb to arrive
      in the mail.
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