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Real Men/Women of Genius #91

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  • The Troubadour
    Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Recent Graduate of Kitchen University
    Message 1 of 1 , May 20, 2011
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      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

      {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Recent Graduate of Kitchen University
      as a Registered Dietitian with All The Best Quotes and Answers.

      {Misssss to-tallllllll-ly colllllllll-lege ed-u-ca-ted cave-grrrl
      hun-ter-and-gath-er-err!}

      You're barely in your 20s--doubtless well schooled in the myriad mysteries
      of healthy cuisine--but we have gall bladders older than your grandparents.
      Maybe you should give us some credit for living this long despite all the
      pizza, buns, and wieners.

      {Youuuuuu're our Raw En-chan-tress of the Non-Pro-cesssssssssed clear Wiz!}

      "Peeps that live in asparagus houses shouldn't throw scones"? And "you'll
      only have nightmares, if you eat white bread"? Or what's this other slogan
      you lately spout about--"spiders are snacks; spider webs are feasts"?
      Puh-leeeeeeease. Better humans than us have breakfasted at Dunkin' Donuts,
      avoided arachnids like the plague, and slept just fine on PB&Js.

      {Whoooooooooooooooo puts peeeeeeeea-nut butt-ter on to-fu?}

      And what's this about caloric intake? Minimum daily adult requirements?
      Thriving on an exclusively vegan diet to clear up our skin, save gas on our
      stoves, and give us so much fiber that our colons become so clearly
      punctuated we could poop out essays?

      {"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII rec-commmmmmmmm-mend thee Mas-ter
      Cleanse!"}

      Thanks, but no thanks. After a long, hard run in the woods or
      cross-training at the gym, there is nothing our ancient decrepit worn-out
      muscles crave so much as a heart-attack hamburger.

      {"Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu'll reeeeeeeeeeeeeee-gret iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"}

      So ease that cork out barely from your non-approved chilly bottle of White
      Zinfandel, O Nurse Ratchet of the Raw Veggie Bar and Sushi Clinic, because
      guzzling too quickly just kills the whine, and even one cook will spoil your
      stew. Better yet, drip the Zinfandel over your salad and let mom and pop
      bake the beans.

      {Misssssssss Ree-cent Grad-u-ate of Kit-chen Un-i-ver-si-ty as THEE
      Reg-is-tered Di-et-tit-tian with All-The-Best-Quotes-and-Annnnn-swers!!}

      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather just
      (yes) guzzle beer.



      ( O_O )



      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      TheTroubadour@...
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      We wonder, really, how many calories *are* in a spider, or its web, and/or
      an entire state forest full of creepy-crawlies you'll never eat, and
      rock-hard chokeberries you'd never want to. But what a great diet for
      losing weight, huh?
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